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Time slips by so fast. Kind of terrified to know that my youth has slipped past me unknowingly and it shows on the face already. Comparing with the old me in photos is demoralizing.

But I’m not the only one that is growing old. I realise my parents are growing old too… I could feel a sense of insecurity when my mum spoke about going out alone these days. She used to laugh at my grandmother for disliking to go out alone as she feels lost when travelling alone. Now, she’s gradually becoming what used to be the situation for my grandmother.

My parents ate happily during a meal we had over the weekend. They seemed happy maybe because it’s a treat but I thought of what else would they be happy about. Putting myself in their shoes, I wouldn’t know what else ahead in life can I look forward to. It’s almost like once a couple is married, they are so involved in their children’s life that before they know it, their youth, their dreams are all gone.

A part of me was thinking how fore granted I was thinking that my parents would forever be there for me and I would be taken care of. Perhaps it sounds naive but deep inside, there is an inner me that feels like a child who wants to stay in the comfort of just having parents around. It seems to be the case that I’m standing on my own 2 feet already. Very soon, I’ll be their caretakers. I’m learning to care for the people who have been always taking care of me.

I’ve been blogging for approximately 6 years already. That’s something. Most of my other friends who used to blog at the same time as me had stopped. Not entirely sure what’s the reason. Could be bored of it or wanted his or feelings kept inside. Blogging has its benefits for me back then. When I could say what I want without feeling any restrictions.

I no longer feel this way anymore. Not when you have anonymous visitors reading. They could be people whom you never think they may be reading, are reading! At the same time, search engines are furiously indexing all your “memories” in the depth of their database waiting for someone to type the correct keywords to unearth the historic posts that you mentioned long ago. Seems scary, isn’t it?

However, I’m not implying that there’s no longer anything beneficial in doing this anymore. It allows me to remember what I had done or what I was thinking in the past. Only then can I realise how much I changed. Maybe by the time you’re old, it’s full of memories to recollect and laugh or frown upon. Maybe it’s not all that wonderful but life is a mix of flavours. Sweet, bitter or sour… Somehow, it’s still like a home for my thoughts to drift into.