Food for Thoughts

Haven’t been writing in a while. I was much denied of free time to do what I feel like doing. My life almost equals to studies now.

I have read through some comments on the so called NTU stabbing incident. Apparently, I think there are many fishy issues over it.

The student didn’t slit his wrist at all according to the autopsy report unlike what Professor Chan had claimed earlier. (Wondered where the news got the wrist-cutting part from…)

The ‘knife’ that was thought to be brought by the student is actually the Professor’s one. There was no murder weapon found in the bag except the normal schooling stuff: pencil case, notes, etc… (How would the student know where the Professor keep the knife unless the Professor took out the knife…)

There was a deep slit on David’s neck that had cut part of the artery which was never reported before earlier. (Was there any purpose in hiding this one?) There was a lot of blood on the student’s butt that is shown from the photograph I’ve seen from the blog, where did that come from?

David’s parents were denied the chance to see Professor and were told that he’s in critical conditions when the news reported that he’s in stable condition after applying stitches to the wound. Only Dr Su directly hear from Professor and gave media through his words. (Were there some sort of purpose to consider in hiding the truth?)

Apparently, there were many controversial issues over such an incident. I’m not ruling out the possibilities over the case that student has really stabbed the professor but I’m sure there’s pretty much more than it meets the eye. Not providing any links here but the things would be able to find from many sources. Maybe it’s time we should analyse news in a more objective perspective… I don’t know how biased the news can be.

Watched the Joint-Dance Concert on Sunday. It was really not bad except a few glitches like having a really lousy emcee and a bit of overpowering NLB staff and uncooperative audience. The emcee stuttered too many times! Even a simple sentence of ‘Let us welcome bla bla bla…’, he’s also making mistakes. Sounded really unprofessional and some were laughing over it. Spoiled the all cool mood of the dance performance!

NLB Staff were very strict about people moving in to sit towards the centre seats, leaving no vacant seats in between. Apparently, there’ll be problems for people reserving seats for friends who will be arriving late. There were some quarrels over this.

Other than that, they were very strict about disallowing photography and mobile phones. They flashed torchlight at the person doing that and sounded that out in a not so discreet manner. The VIPs were somehow near there and I thought that was quite embarrassing in a way.

Another argument was during the intermission period when there were people playing PSP. The staff again interfered and ordered the audience to switch that off. There’s this parent that quarrelled loudly with the staff, demanding her rights to do what she wants during the intermission break. She threatened the staff to complain about her bad attitude. The parent was more fierce than the staff… Oh man, talking about gracious Singaporeans… I think we haven’t reach that, not yet not yet.

Despite all that, there was this amazing performance put up by the disabled that really inspired me. They danced pretty well in wheelchairs considered that they only have their hands to help them move around in timing. There was one that was slightly out of timing but nevertheless, I observed joy among them in dancing. The passionate look on their faces showed me that they never think that they are lacking in any ways compared to the healthy people. It was really awesome. To live life with passion is to live life to the max! =)

Sometimes, I take people for granted and in return people take me for granted too. But there were people whom you can’t choose whether to have them in your life or not. My brother thinks that I’m too much of a busybody to nag him on his expenditures and when I choose to go out with his friends and him. I’m born to be his brother. If I could have a choice, I would want a older sibling to take care of me instead of me being the one who looks out for somebody who doesn’t even appreciate.

I’m told by Poo Hee that I’m supposed to perform for Talentime this Thursday. Doom. I really have no idea what song I should choose… =/

If Only A Day Has 24Hrs More

 

 

I could have choose to miss out everything in hall for a more peaceful academic life but I chose otherwise. I keep telling myself, it’s only for a year and I’ll move on to my studies. I don’t know why but I keep missing home recently.

Kayaking was quite fun as a hall activity. Somehow it reminds me of the times when I was secondary 3. That was long time ago when I participated OBS expedition. Ha. Only now with a different group of people.

There were still many lame things that are done in university. I used to think the older you are, the less lame stuff you do. Somehow, not exactly true.  Perhaps, it’s a temporary phase to go through knowing that once you step into the working world, you wouldn’t even dream of the chance of acting stupid or doing lame things with your colleagues. Ha.

I’m thankful of my friends for celebrating my birthday especially Jeremy. =) Thanks! I was only thinking why would JCRC hold monthly meeting on a Thursday which usually will fall on Wednesday. I didn’t even think that Jeremy will call Baohui down too. Haha. The jacket that I’m wearing in the photo is the present. Oots. My first Adidas jacket then. Haha. Oh by the way, thanks for the wishes, Ruth. =)  

I was also surprised that Baohui took me to this place called Keppel By The Bay where there were a few restaurants by the seaside. It’s an island near Harbourfront. The best thing of all was that the cab driver didn’t even know where it is. The place looks very posh and there were many yachts docked to the harbour. Someday I’m going to park mine! That is if I manage to earn that much. Waha. Everything starts with a dream :)

The restaurant that I thought we were going to dine at isn’t really a restaurant at all. It’s a gastro bar. The food’s nice actually. Look at the strawberries! (YUM!) However, it would be weird not to order any liquor at a bar. So we ordered some orange flavoured liquor which really tasted weird.

It had been a long time since I felt that relaxed. Thanks for the surprise. I really love it lots.

Valentine’s day celebration was fun too. This time round had to bring change of clothing. Kind of troublesome but oh well… There’s always a first time for everything. Ha. Literally toured from west to east and to central before returning to west again. Taxi fares were of course not any much lesser than other expenses. Lol. I think I need canvassing for my wallet too. Ha.

I think the simplest surprise can be really sweet as well. Something she gave me really touched me to the core of my heart. =) I had not expected that coming.

Someday I hope I can close my eyes and listen. To really listen for the gentle calls of the heart. Even without words, being in the company of each other is enough for the souls. =)

I wish the best for all my dear friends too. Hope you all had a fulfilling time with your dear friends and families and spending meaningful moments together.

Circle of Friends

Many fragments of thoughts in my head now. The following things would be mentioned with no direct links to each other whatsoever. I usually blog when I’m feeling sad. But this time it’s different.

Got cheated to be the only one from my batch to show up for Frank’s pageant competition. Moreover, the program’s really boring, unlike any other competitions I’ve seen. There were only 2 walkthroughs for the contestants in clothes that looked almost the same. The theme is not very strongly brought out. Most of them didn’t walk in a style how models walk. Their poses look pretty awkward too. Ha. Maybe the organisers had spent too much booking down Zouk for the event, probably.

This year CNY seems very short. Perhaps by CNY day 2 I already had to go back hall for presentation meeting. Ang bao amount is a lot lesser this year now that economy is really bad. Not expecting much anyway.

The relatives that I meet annually seem to be distant this year. Not sure why I felt this way though, perhaps because they really can’t tell me apart from my younger brother. The picture on the left is him. I don’t find us looking any similar though.

My cousins have grew taller. I’m still pretty much the same. Haha. I guess I’m really old and really soon I would be busy working day after day and a family to take care of when I’m back. Responsibilities to shoulder and mouths to feed. By then, would all the fun I have now disappear from my life totally? Where else can I find the strength to keep me going?

Thought about the 3 months break later this year. I think I really need to go work and earn some money, otherwise I don’t think I’m able to last 4 years with the current rate of expenditure. Ha.

Suddenly I feel like singing…  I have a melody that’s coming from nowhere, no purpose. Just a feeling I want to express. I want to thank all my friends who have been through my life. Thanks to Mingxiu and Hengyi who have made my secondary school days less monotonous. Thanks Ruth for being such a nice mei but I think I was never that nice back. =) Ha. Thanks to Jian Yuan and Esmond who have made JC seem so much more lively and entertaining. Thanks to Choonpei and Weina who have made me feel that it’s possible to have a friend who can just listen to you. Thanks to Lipsin and Hui Chuan who made my NS life less miserable. Thanks to Keefer and Jialing, Starhub clique who made my job something to look forward to day after day. Thanks Weiyen for being there to hear me out at the weirdest of times. Thanks Edwin, Shanghao, Poo Hee for making my hall stay worth it. There are still many more people I want to thank. It’s you that keeps me going. I hope I can do the same to you too. 

Thanks Bao for everything you did. It’s been difficult for both of us to find time for each other but I’m glad we tided through. Happy 2 months dear! =)

New Year Updates

 

 

It’s the start of 2009. Just finished with many of the IHRG and IHG pretty soon. There were many things I have learnt about during the year of 2008 to now and I have become more careful of what I have to and got to say. Being quiet at times becomes inevitable if I don’t want to be shot at unnecessary. Some politics will just be there even if you don’t want to believe so. It hurts when you know that it’s your friend who shoots comments at you not face to face, but through others. Everything can be used as a yardstick to compare on.

 

I’m happy that I finally see through the end of hall cheerleading. It has been an eye-opener experience to understand the sweat, friendship and teamwork of being a cheerleader. Throughout that period, many persevered while some dropped out. It’s not an easy effort from a total noobie to be trained a cheerleader. At least I’m proud of my own performance. =)

Ever since the training ended, there’s many things that had changed. No more night trainings that the team dreads. No more toleration of each other’s mistakes. No more sweat and laughter from the same few people whom I have seen almost every night. Suddenly, the night just seems to have quieten down. Perhaps I start to miss all the things that I used to do. =) 

I really feel thankful for everyone who came down to watch my performance. Big hug to you all. =) I want to thank Jian Yuan for collecting the goody bag for me. Felt bad that I couldn’t attend his event due to training.

 

Met up with Hengyi and Chris. It’s one of the rare occasions to meet up. I think my secondary school friends are generally very rich. Always tend to feel the uncomfortable distance between them and me. Be it their spending habits, hobbies, etc just don’t seem to click anymore… =/

Looking forward to Chinese new year. I’ll be another year older soon. The 2009 me that’s in the mirror seems much older, tired… I suppose ageing is something that’ll come sooner or later after 21. Mum seems to be less energetic recently. Part of me wants to graduate soon so that I can help in the family. Another part of me has reach that mentality level yet. There’s many things I want to learn, I want to see and experience before I step into the workforce for good. I can’t visualise what I’ll probably do in the future but for now I’ll be going full swing into studies. I must do much much much better this semester.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

 

 

 

It's kind of late to wish everyone merry Christmas here but it takes some time to sort out photos and to sum up what I want to say.

I had a different Christmas this year. I'm feeling very much in bliss although many things could have been a lot better. I am starting to see how complicated the social circle is. The more people you know, the more you would have to manage yourself and your friends better. At least that's what's expected of you if you want to maintain a nice impression in front of everyone. I have always wanted to be as nice as I can to everyone but that's not that possible it seems. Sorry friends if I have neglected some of you. I'll find a way to prioritise my time better. I'm still learning but it feels like time has less tolerance of me as I grow older.

Christmas eve is memorable for me. It doesn't matter where I spend it as long as I'm with you. =)

The food in Giraffe is very much expensive. The quality is not bad. Ambience is rather soothing for me I feel. The music they played was not the typical Christmas songs I thought. They played many Enrique's songs. What a pity it was raining that day otherwise it would have been a splendid ambience! The service is good. We hesitated for quite a bit on the Xmas meal but the waiter waited patiently for us to decide on the orders and the winning smile was more than enough to please the customers. It's worth returning on any other days. =)

We had fun in our own world playing with the party fedora hats they provided. I even wanted to play with the party poppers if it was at an alfresco setting. I figured that it would be pretty embarrassing or attention-catching if I did that. LOL. The seats I reserved were actually outdoor but the manager was nice enough to change seats for us when I asked for it. It's quite weird though as the only available table is a 6-seater table. BH and I just sat side by side at a corner of the round table that stationed right smack in the centre of the place. The rest must be thinking what's so special of us to take such a big table. Haha.

I was surprised that BH tried her best to dress up well for me. I would say she looks very elegant even without wearing skirt. Ha. Of course not in FBT shorts and VJ T-shirt that she jokingly said she'll turned out in. I supposed I had over dressed to some extent. Many people were staring at me which somehow make me feel very much uncomfortable.

After dinner, I thought it would be best to keep out of streets if I want to avoid being sprayed by foam. Although it's not legal anymore, it's still rather prevalent in the town areas. Aye, I would rather not take any chance. Movie was the next option. Twilight wasn't at all what I thought. It turned out to be a romance story that even kids can watch. Ha. I also got an ice-cream treat from her. For me, there seems no difference between Ben&Jerry's to Gelare to Andersen's ice-cream. I know ice-cream lovers will argue on that but that's just what I feel.

Grand cathay's cinema is really different. It looks so grand and the setting is very much like a musical theatre. =x Were we not supposed to take photographs in there?

After movie, we had supper over at Rochor tau huay area where we also had gift exchange when midnight strikes. She's observant to realise that my wallet's condition is much close to unusable state. LOL. *Touched* Little action speaks volume. =)

I had a Christmas party at Valerie's uncle's house too. Another mega-huge place for such parties. There were many people I don't know. Some are Edith's friends and some are Val's friends. They were many more guys than girls there and it felt like a ORD gathering. Ha. I'm glad I still feel a familiar sense of belonging to the group of friends whom I've not met for some time. I realise gift exchange is only nice if everyone makes effort to source for presents. Karma will ensure that people who wrap 'presents' from unused items will get similar treatment. LOL!

I love the part when everyone got together to play the sparklers to form words. Xuguang was actively trying to finish blowing his present (bottle of bubble foam). Come to think of it, there isn't any log cake to eat this year.

The Christmas celebration in hall was somehow not as good as I thought. Not sure if everyone was tired after playing IHG or simply not as supportive. Food and drinks were not bad but there really weren't enough time to put up superb music performance. I'm sure a little cheer and encouragement would do some good...

So far 2008 has been very much exciting for me. I tried out many things new and learnt many things. I'm grateful for all the good things that had happened and will cherish the love from the people around me. It's not possible to please everyone or do everything perfectly. I just want to look back things with a smile.

I had finished sorting my thoughts out. Good friends are like footprints in each other's sand. If you had never any more intention to step into my sand, soon the past traces of footprint will be erased by the sea and be lost. No matter how hard you try to seek it, it's gone...

Another chapter of my life is gone. My new year wish is to do better in studies and relationship. Happy 2009 everyone!

Expectations

Thanks weiyen for the Christmas card. It's lovely. It came as a surprise to me too. =) It was a fun night out sourcing for Christmas presents. Takashimaya is really a one-stop place for that. Don't expect the crowd to be any lesser than what you can imagine.

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I just keep getting affected by the same things. It sucks. I don't want to keep things by myself but what else can I do. If nothing is being discussed, nothing can be solved and problems remain if not worse. Perhaps in the first place, there's not even a strong common understanding to start with. I'm tired of it.

If I have a Christmas wish, can I wish for everyone to be happy?

I'm Loving It...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It feels fresh writing on a new blog template especially one with fresh colours.

Life's been pretty good for me in general. Bao has been really sweet and subtly has become the support of my mental strength.

I did my first cooking other than those in home economics and manage to come up with decent-looking with the help of seniors, Henry and Sont for her. =) At least she's appreciative of my effort.

Night cycling was indeed interesting. My groin aches like hell throughout the journey. The bike was not much better than the bike I had when I was young. The singlet's really cute, fitting and cooling. Initially, Virgil was the only group that was so obedient to adhere to the safety rule of wearing helmets. Throughout the journey, it was so tough riding only on the walking pavements. You would really need to be there to witness the craziness and the enhanced difficulty for that. I guess everyone would be better off riding on road. Seriously.

Our group IC was not all that bad except that there were some places that we literally were not following the route at all. Ha. Maybe for our group we can change the distance at the back to 42.195km instead. LOL. Our group was also one that's not the competitive but the fun-loving one. From the first group to set off, we ended up like 3rd or so. Along the way, we took numerous photos as though we were foreigners touring Singapore. Many of the wacky ones were suggested by Edwin mainly. This one on the left looks as though he's enlightened. LOL.

Henry's birthday is another happening event this December. Witnessed 7 wonders and Superman returns together. Ha... Luckily mine happened before I came to hall. I can't imagine being 'sabo-ed' in my own house in front of so many guests. Goodness! Melissa was very spontaneous for the forfeit though. Surprise!

I don't know why I still feel so down... What's wrong... Does having too many friends necessary equate to no good friends? Maybe someone ought to hit me on the head hard and tell me what the truth is.

What Should What Shouldn't?

There's been more arguments with mum regarding overseas trip. Am I so selfish to just go for a little trip to enjoy? She sees it as being extravagant in spending. I'm being told that if I have time for all that, why don't I seek jobs to entertain myself. I'm not hoping to go anywhere, just KELONG... -_-"

Finally the day that I wanted has come true. My next phase of worries would be to maintain it. I am serious about it more than anything. Sometimes I just don't know why the awkward tension within me arises, is it because I'm too overly used to living my own life or I just don't know what to do? I hope she can give me more time. I have faith that it will all work out.

Post-exams Updates

Has been slacking around for a few days already. I guess it's really bad especially for electronics paper. Sigh...

Saw a video on the history of England. The show started with the post late medieval period from Queen Elizabeth I to William and Mary in the Stuart's era. The fight for freedom hasn't been all that easy for that tiny nation to fledge their flag high and proud among the other massive and strong European nations. It's no wonder why they had that air of supremacy in their earlier days.

Personally, I think only Queen Elizabeth I is worth mentioning. She handles foreign affairs with tact and discreet. She encouraged the rise of navy power in the country discreetly and eventually strong enough to defeat the mighty Spain at that time. Not just Spain but the Dutch and other strong sea-powers too. Able to strategise a series of economic and military solutions for a small country isn't all that easy. Even though under the ruling of monarchy, she didn't abuse her given power to yield anything she wants. She cleverly balance the unspoken agreement of power with the nobles, the tax to collect from people and other things else. By the end of her reign which ended with her death, England had seen major economic expansion. Other rulers that follow within that Era merely stained the history with more examples of tyrant kings. Charles I and James are two examples. Even Oliver Cromwell who succeeded in overthrowing Charles I is no better in example.

Met up with my ex-colleagues at Terasa's wedding.  It's been quite some time since I've last seen them. Firstly, I really can't recognise one of my colleagues Nicole at all. With all that makeup, she seems like a totally different person. Wow, wonders of powder! Terasa looked extremely gorgeous too. I guess her effort of skin care in preparation of the wedding had been paid off! Ha. She seems too busy to entertain the group of us though. We did manage to take photos with her neve rtheless. Diana wanted to take photo with John and me. Just thought of a funny combination though. One loud one soft. Hehe. At first, I was hesitating if I should wear a shirt for formal occasion like a wedding. But oh well, looks like nobody pointed me out. Guess punctuality counts more. Ha.

Birthday bashes are coming! More in the late November to December time. I think birthday celebrations in hall is okay. If you think it is bad, look at stomp's video post at http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=41849 I bet you will be shocked.

If only $$ really drops from the sky. There are many things I think about now. It's not a problem now but it will be one in the very near future. By then, will everything fall out of plan then? Maybe I need to prepare myself mentally.

The world is in another recession now. By the time I graduate, will it be a depression? Will the things I study now gives me any guarantee to my future? I don't know. Somehow it feels like it doesn't.

Stress

Came across a blog and saw this entry which I thought is very nice.

promises are like growing trees. they grow up strong and quickly in the spring. they make everything more beautiful. and soon, the leaves will rassle in the summer breeze. singing the angel's melody and surprising you occasionally.

but a walk in the park never stays the same, trees start to shed and leaves rain across your dimmed path.and the next snap you hear is the cracking of thin ice under you in winter time. the trees have finally died.

these are your promises.

It's going to be nearly 2 weeks already and yet my chipped teeth are still in pain. Had an X-ray and showed that the roots were knocked out of place. Further review is pending in a month's time. I hope no root canal surgery has to be done, otherwise I have to fork out $400+ per tooth excluding straightening. Where am I going to get the money!!?

Cheerleading has stopped for now.. Suddenly night feels so relatively free. But it's not. I've only got 14 more days to my exams! Everyone seems to be too busy studying, hall becomes very quiet lately.

But thank you for making my life a bit better. =D I appreciate every little things you did, really.

I'm still holding on, so hope my friends who are losing hope to still clinch on to any ray of hope you may see. Let's all work hard! =D

What's over is over...

Okie, the title seems quite emotional. But not really. I'm really going to put that someone behind me. I'm really glad you finally set your mind down on him. I believe he's going to give you happiness, so don't doubt him in anyway. Maybe there were other reasons why I can't put you down but now I know I can... I believe we'll still be good friends. =)

Had lots of fun these few weeks as well as stress too. I shall not elaborate more on stress since talking about it becomes irrelevant now. Oktoberfest is an interesting event. My CAC friends and I went to attend it and there were much fun and laughter. It's not cheap, mind you. It's about $45 for food appreciation club members. Somehow, this year, the deal isn't as good as the previous years' which made me feel kind of disappointed but nevertheless, I made a few more acquaintances as the entire table is for NTU students!

We ate sausages basically, and other types of meat. Well, like buffet, there are plentiful amount of food you can take. But I'm not used to eating so much meat in a meal that I got myself full after dining in for a while. The beer isn't issued in a free-flow style like what was expected. Only a shot of red bull can be exchanged from the coupon. 2nd disappointment. No choice, I bought another mug of beer to share with Baohui then.

The ones whose faces got real red after drinking would be Yongfu, Wan Ting and Clarence. Most others seem fine...

We went to sing at Cathay Cineleisure afterwards. I believe that's the 2nd official Valus group outing. Quite saddening that we rarely get to meet up for gathering. However, the long period seems to gel us even closer as we will always have much to update about each other's lives. It seems like everyone in the group loves gossips. Lol.

I looked through the photos I had yesterday and I realised it's been ages since I had printed out any. It has come to a digital age when appreciation of photos no longer require any physical medium like a photo paper or photo album. Ha. I don't know why the nostalgia hits me suddenly, but I thought that it'll still be nice to print out some and when I'm old, it's nice to flip through a "real" album on a rocking chair. Ha.

Talked to some friends on MSN these past few weeks. I found that I'm losing contact with quite a few of them. Hadn't really find time to talk to them or meet out. There are so much time constraints being a student also and I wonder if such scenario would be non-existent when it comes to the working phase? At least, there's no compulsory follow-ups after work. Ha.

On Sunday, Baohui and I went to help Clarence out to choose a present for someone that "it's complicated" with him, at least according to him. Ha. Actually, I hadn't have the intention to ask him to treat but he did it anyway. So, hurray! I got a free treat of Mud Pie, Mango blend from The Coffee Club. I thought mud pie shared among 3 people is too little a portion but turned out to be just fine. It's simply delicious but if it's eaten by one person only, I think it's a bit sweetness overdose! Ha.

I wished every day was like last weekend. =)

More Random Happenings...

I think Mindscafe is one of the place I won't feel sick going to, at least not yet. Went with my hall OG friends to play. As usual, Jiahui is on the news again.

Halfway through, she just hugs the game and crept underneath the table. Weird or what. Ha. My reaction time is seriously slow, (wonders if it's due to age) but at least I wasn't the last though.

Only Hong Wei joined us, wonder where's the other seniors off to.

Hesitated for quite a while before deciding to go clubbing with the pageants. I think I no longer like to go clubbing for curiosity, more of thinking it as a gathering at alternate venues I believe. Somehow, my mum just doesn't share the same sentiment though.

She woke up and saw me in a drunk state when I returned home. I hate to be in that scene, knowing how disturbed she'll be. I pretended not to realise and went back to sleep. At least the intention stems from a concerned heart. =)

How well am I juggling things right now? I really don't know. I need to get myself back in focus. Hope to spend the remaining of the recess week doing something fruitful.

Perhaps there isn't a way to keep everything. When you acquire something new in your life, you risk a chance of losing something that you have already got. Is it really too greedy to just ask for the chance to hold on to everything that still matters? Or could some changes be inevitable and irreversible? Somewhere deep down in my heart, I still hope for a miracle. Don't want to lose that hope yet. Not yet, not yet.

Bored...

It's recess week now, a good time to study but I haven't been utilising it in a proper way. Started to think about many things and thereafter drift off to my own wonderland. Even created something as lame as this. Who's the pretty girl here? Lol. Saw my friend did a photo on his, so decided to try out mine. I did everything from eyelash to mascara fully on Photoshop and it's a manual job! Lol.

Fedora 9 is really worth exploring. It's able to have all the flashy animations to enable usability in its highest form of beauty. Gosh, am I in love with it? Okay, back to serious stuff. I need to get my revision back on track.

*Traumatised*

It's been a really f**ked up week for me. Had AGM, subcom recruitment poster, investiture and Mid-autumn festival poster and banner to settle. To add on to that, I've lost my wallet as well. So sorry to have trouble my friends to accompany me to look for it. Now, all's lost and I have spent much time reporting loss of NRIC, EZlink card, ATM card, debit card and my monsoon card with a lot of cash. To add on to the loss, the replacement for these cards aren't cheap at all especially the NRIC. I've only used the monsoon card twice and once lost, the money paid for 10 times is OVER. The replacement for debit card for your information cannot be done over at the UOB branch as they do not have the system there to activate. I need to WAIT for the PIN before I can activate at the ATM. How ridiculous is that? Total loss estimated to be about $410+.

I'm so pissed and heartbroken right now, so sorry if I bark at you somehow.

Busy Busy Busy

I know I really shouldn't blog in such a busy time like this but I just can't hide my feelings. She has been showing signs that she's ok with me, but I don't know if I'm reading too much into it or... I guess I need to test water a bit further.

Just ended JCRC rally today. It had been a very tiring process going through all the preparatory work doing the publicity banners, posters and flyers. Normally, I'm someone that procrastinates but even I'm shocked by myself that I manage to keep to the tight and tiring schedule. Visiting door to door to advertise yourself is really no easy feat. You need the determination and encouragement to go on. I'm glad I have many good friends I met that keep me going. Somehow, that's what I like about the hall culture.

Doing all these things set me thinking about my future, or at least for this year. Is running for hall JCRC really what I want? I manage to sort out a few plus points that will keep me going. Firstly, I really feel that serving your community is something rewarding especially if you can enjoy immersing in that culture. Secondly, it's the friends that are running the show with you. Personally, I feel that there wouldn't be much politics involved this time round. Even if so, I'll try my best to stay out of it. Thirdly, it'll expose me to handling things at a higher level which is something I can experience.

I want to thank all the friends who have been there to support me especially through attending the rally. I know that everyone has their own work to catch up and even being there for a short while means a lot to me already. I want to accept new things coming into my life, yet I still want to grasp the existing friendship I have tightly... However, some things still seem to drift apart but I don't know how to salvage. Or am I just running away from it?

Communication

Why must we always talk about issues like this in channels like that... Somehow, something has gone awfully wrong somewhere where I'm clueless about. Friends come in and out of my life, this phase is a busy one for many people, including me. Perhaps I haven't been devoting enough time to maintain friendship. I tried somehow, just worried that the other person doesn't like it. Allow some time for me to reflect on how I can re-arrange my time to make the best out of everything.

Things aren't going that easy. I still have many more choices to make...

Evaluations

Hall 9 Dinner and Dance 2008 is finally over. Time spent on practice can now be allocated for other priorities. Somehow, I wonder if it's worthy to spend so much time on that for a moment of glory. The time for the actual event seems so minute compared to the time spent on practising. Yet, there's a regret deep down when I screwed up my dance. I thought all was over and consolation prize was waiting for me. It didn't turn out as bad as I thought and got a 2nd runner up position. I guess it's the catwalk that saved me somehow. Anyway, congratulations to Nigel and Jaclyn for clinching Hall King and Hall Queen positions. Well Done. I guess there's plenty of experience I can absorb for an event like this. Looking forward to coordinate this event for the freshmen next year.

It's a pity I couldn't send Meiling off. Wished her all the best in the University of Illinois.

Some people can just change so fast in such a short time. I really couldn't bring myself to believe it. Thought he was busy and didn't want to talk when we met up in school. Even for casual friends I would have stopped and chat for at least a couple of lines before going off. But twice he said that he needed to rush off. Today, another mutual friend was talking about him also. He came all the way from NUS to see him yet, he seemed to be bothered by mutual friend's presence and even left him alone there without bidding goodbye. I thought that was quite atrocious. I treat him not as a casual friend but don't know if such sentiments reciprocate.

Wasn't shortlist for the next round of interview. I felt quite upset about it. I couldn't think why though. Is my profile in IT not sufficient to compare with? Or the other contestants have much more to offer? Myriad of events had happened in a pace much faster than I can grasp and comprehend. I apologise for the bitching throughout this post. I just had to write it out somehow.

Now inter-hall games are about to start. I looked at the list of games and asked myself what I can offer to the hall in terms of sports contribution. I couldn't help but felt very disturbed internally. Due to the meniscus injury, my life has been heavily affected by it. I could no longer play any aggressive sports if not, my knee will just lock up again. It had come back to haunt me just a few weeks ago during an orientation camp. Such activities aren't even tough and yet, the unbearable pain sets in to disrupt whatever I want to do. I hadn't gone for any operations for I couldn't muster courage to go for it. I don't know what's the outcome and anything that could be extended by 6 months for recovery. It's just not the time... but am I just condemned to such a state. I don't want to accept this, it's not fair.

Life Progress Report

Staying in hall is really fun. Didn't regret it at all. However, sleeping late is a tradeoff for the fun I had during the day time though. With only 17 AUs, it's very slack for engineering, but I really can't get any other electives and the appeal date is over. Sigh.

Practising dance for DND is tough. I hadn't do all this before. It's very new to me. Yet, there are expectations to keep up to. Somehow, Mich's lacking the drive to finish it off properly I think. Or am I too sensitive?

Bought a new pair of Pedro shoes that costs S$99. Okay, the price is more reasonable than Aldo but that's still a big amount for a student like me. Gee, I got to save up now.

Celebrated Xin En's birthday on Monday. Even though she's smart enough to detect that we're celebrating for her, I think for the effort, she should still act as if she's surprised about it. Haha. Oh well, I'm not in the picture because I left earlier.

Now, I'm seeing my parents once or twice a week. Felt that the gap between us is widening. She's always complaining that we don't communicate. Yet, when I do so, she always makes the conversation a nasty one... =<

I can't help feeling kind of pissed about someone. In university, if you want to know more people, you have to somehow break out of your comfort zone to know more people. I think if I bother to help, he/she should be more willing to try harder. On a second thought, his/her reasons always seem justified for the things that he/she missed out. What can I say...

Her birthday is coming, I don't know if I can be in time to finish making presents for her... I think she's totally clueless about my feelings though.

Life Goes On...

Happy birthday Singapore! Watched the front segments of NDP Live Telecast. I was wondering if I had become older and hence, expectations of watching NDP has become higher, or it has really not become any better than previous years.

The marching portion wasn't that good I thought. 'Hentak Kaki' wasn't in sync and even the fancy drills wasn't up to par as previous years. There was a guy who really swung the weapon 1/2 beat out of steps with the rest for a segment. Another was looking to the other person for cue on its next move. Had they train more than half a year for this? Singing the national day song in Jazz seems new but not many people could sing along with it. Some sang with it only to met with a sudden deliberate pause in its original rhythm. Ha. It hadn't been raining for years on National Day, I thought. The members of parliament weren't wearing the raincoat for some reasons. I think even if the rain drops are fine, it's kind of cruel not to allow wearing of raincoat since the weather should still be cold. Or perhaps, it's the red and white colour combinations it's supposed to be achieved? Perhaps. Ha.

Just had the basic photo shoot of the pageants photo. Personally I feel that the stylists are good. Just that the photographs taken could be improved. There are insufficient lightings for the night shots. Here are some of the photos I have from my friend's camera.

The girls somehow weren't too happy about their hairdo. They wanted it to be more puffy I think. If not, they would rather stick to their curry puff hairstyle. Is that what they call it?

Wei wen always has this serious expression. I think with that look, he makes a good physical training instructor. He said that it's in the past. He wants resume his life as a student now... I think he is quite a nice guy although he looks like someone I hate quite a lot. Ha.

The D&D training is both very fun and stressful. There's certain levels of expectations to keep up to. Behind all the fun-loving stuff, there's always something serious to take away with. Since I'm here, I might as well take some experience away. The photo on the right is me, Gary and Michelle in Masquerade Shop trying out all the wacky and funky costumes.

On the left, that's Michelle and me trying out Victorian and Greek costumes. For more photos, it's found on my facebook. Friends and family, please come down and support me @ DXO on Saturday 16th August. Thanks.

I don't have time to do everything, but I have time for those who matters.