This is what I found out from an analysis of a personality web site. This is interesting as the questions asked are somehow not related to my character or at least not directly. Most descriptions should be rather accurate I think.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

=JCT=
Got very lousy results this time. I think I scored last in computing. How outrageous... Perhaps I spend too little time in it. Maths may be better but due to the fact that it's an easy paper. Physics as compared to promos is very much below standard. On a rather high pressure to elevate my physics grades. As for Chem, I hope it won't be too disappointing. News of it so far isn't very positive. There's single digit mark for Chem in my class. GP is hard to spectaculate. It won't be anything good, that's what I can conclude for my past experiences.

=Birthdays=
Finally managed to get an opportunity to buy presents for mx and y3. I remembered last year mao xin was groaning about his unpopular presence as no one is willing to buy him presents except lz. Yea, he was telling me... and I happen to be one of the guilty ones. Haha. Jy and me decided to do a little work on the presents to make things even more meaningful for the couple. Haha. If there's more time, it'll be even better as we'll be able to sort things out nicely.

=Class Outing=
Aww... missed the class outing to Sentosa. Heard it was very fun even though few turned up. I thought probably the guys and girls will be playing separately and it'll be quite boring. Looks like this time, it's not. Ha...

=Sakae Sushi=
Yum... Thx kor for your sushi treat. Really so apologetic to cause such a big hole in your pocket. Ha. Mm.. It's my first time to eat there anyway. I hope I didn't appear too 'suaku'. Ha. Anyway, don't worry so much about your health. You'll be blessed! =)

=School Work=
I saw the lessons schedule for physics and chemistry while I was arranging the files last night and I happen to realise that the pace after June Common Test will be ultra fast. Probably there'll be no room for slacking anymore. Computing coursework will start on this friday... Haiz... I'm so panicky about it. Hope it won't end up like the second coursework. =<

Thanks kor for your present. Heez, I like it. =) I'll use it during A's.

Quite a boring day today. Wanted to run but in the end too lazy to. Naruto comics is really a lot much more ahead than the videos. It's already so cool with just static pictures, what more to say for the videos. So addictive for me, ha.

For those who find the story I posted before interesting, I found it in friendster bulletin... I shall try to post more of different varieties stuff in the future provided if I can remember what interesting sightings I've seen so far.

=JCT review=
I'm quite disappointed in my performance this time. Somehow, I already can foresee how things will probably go from now. I've never done that badly in physics before, damn... Moreover, it's ridiculous to spend my money on things like tuition when there's no significant improvement on my grade at all!

=Strange News=
Lately, the announcement of Apple to switch to using Intel chips has amazed me quite much. My first thought was to install the latest Apple Mac OS on my PC since the processor would be the same... However, as expected, they will have installed some protection to recognise if the hardware is the authentic Apple's one.

=Latest Recounts=
I was wondering how tall I will grow up to be when I was a kid. It just surprise me so much to see everyone relatively gigantic to me. Ha, in the end, didn't end up growing tall.. Aww, that's sad.

=Reflections=
As I grow much older than I was, I beginning to hate the control I'm in. Is it a blessing that I still have parents to control me or curse that I can never do things what other people will think it's definitely okay to do? I don't have an answer. I hope to get to work soon and be more independent. Only then, I can choose how I want to live my life.

Hmm... If only life's like fantasy, where guys and girls can just be in purely in love and be happily ever after. Or maybe there is, just that it hasn't happen on me. I still find that I cannot be the unfeeling person I've tried to be. It's hard being a cold, ruthless person. Sometimes, I just don't like to admit things directly or it's just more natural of me to be truthful to trusted friends whom I believe that they won't hurt me..

Shi ne... That's romanji word for die.. That's how I'll become for JCT. Just merely touch a bit of organic chemistry today only... Yucks, that's sheer slow. Got to hasten my pace triple!!

Ha, I can't seem to find things of some cartoon characters to buy as gifts. Not like winnie the pooh whereby I can see almost anywhere... Hmm...

Just downloaded a few lyrics to my comp, maybe I'll just post one of those lyrics here. =P

=98 Degrees - The Hardest Thing=

We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you
Both of us trying to be strong
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Chorus:
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my hearts not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever had to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you

I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
There can be no happy ending

Chorus
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
(Ooh)
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that

Chorus
I don't want to live a lie
What can I do

Yo people, I'm finally tagging another entry after the last entry which was quite outdated already. I don't know why but I just don't feel the addiction to come online that often for those days. Somehow I feel fatigue's accumulating a lot even though I try to relax myself.

Thanks people for making the chalet a nice one! The only regret was that not many year 1s are free on these dates of chalet. Otherwise, year 2s will need only to idle around during bbq. Ha, joking. This time round only manage to get Jaron to come down for the bbq. Youquan and Sabrina are uncontactable.

=Chalet Day 1=
Before I set off to meet y3 2.45 at downtown east lobby, I have myself searching for ezlink card for 15+ minutes that caused me to be slightly late. Therefore I may as well wait for lim pin knowing he's on the way to interchange soon.

Turnout's pretty good on day 1. The room isn't big so it seems squeezy for all that turned up. Compared to the last visit to Downtown East, the room decoration seems to have improved. When the TV ads of DE show up, it's a strange how fun the ads show DE to be when I'm not ready to spend on anything much.

Don't know how the check in system works. The lobby changes its place to another part of DE. Got a free swim board upon checking in. The receptionist somehow gives me that stare when I tell her I'm over 18. I don't look that old yet? Perhaps she didn't mean that way. Ha I think maybe I was just too sensitive. Ha.

The couple now willing to let others acknowledge their relationship after a long time... Hahaha, wanted to grill them with more (interview-type) questions but didn't as I thought somehow it'll turn out to be pretty stupid.

Everyone first watch superstar on channel U then spongebob squarepants on central.. It's y3's favourite show, so she cannot miss it. Lim pin was commenting on the lameness of the show. Ok, I've witnessed it.

Had dinner at BK which is so damn expensive. The only thing nice was the star wars bottle. But since there's no cap, I doubt it can be used as a bottle. Anyway, I should have tried the "galatic burgers". Looks yummy at least.

Didn't have mahjong sets to rent this time. We resort to borrow one from gerard's mother. Haha. Jaron and lim pin's hands already itching for mahjong. Ha.. Gibson's luck was really extremely bad. Lost all rounds, hahaha...

Halo 2 was most of the time what is on the TV set. Gerard brought that and MX, james, gerard were taking turns to play that. Everyone else seems bored. Or at least I am. I think y3 too, she's either stoning or smiling at her handphone.

=Chalet Day 2=
Y3, Mx, Gerard, James, DK and me stayed overnight. I was playing cards initially, then change to become a teacher. I taught y3 and DK mahjong after I teach DK bridge. There's many terminologies to remember which seems to pose more difficulty to beginners than other things else. DK has exceptionally strong sense in entertainment stuff. He picks every fun things rapidly. Oh man, either I'm just dumb or he's just smart. It takes me quite a while to pick off last time. James joined in later on and I got to re-explain.

Occasionally, I need to purposely refocus my eyes to elsewhere but it's hard with the loving couple eh... I wonder if DK has the same sentiments. =P

Had my shower quite late. Around 12 plus I think. I thought at least 1 person will bring toothpaste but turn out, opps, NO ONE!? Everyone wasn't in a sleeping mood then so I didn't sleep as well. I start making pyramid out of mahjong before extending it to igloo as claimed by y3. There's eiffel tower and jenga tower as well. Ha. After that, I still succumb to my fatigue. I'm so sorry y3 n mx have to help to keep those mahjong tiles away. Aiya, just take that as an appreciation for my effort in teaching them mahjong then. =P

Ask so... many times for the breakfast. No one gives a proper answer. End up eating the instant noodles y3 n I bought back. Diao~ I sponsor $8 for the food but seems like not much of it was eaten. Ehh....

Lunch at the food court. It's almost half as expensive as BK. But still, I felt cheated. $3 for a damn small plate of "char siew" rice. Except for gerard's $3 "char kuey" which seems lesser than mine, mx and y3's ones are a lot more.

Felt kind of bored so request wei jie to come earlier. I went for a swim with him at the pool which people can see through the sides and bottom. Yay, I think I learn a few more interesting tips from him to improve my frontcrawl style aka freestyle. I still need to practise more to ensure I can swim a longer stretch.

BBQ goes as normal... The part about skewering chickens is a bit more problematic. It's not "I" who want to skewer it. I just think it'll be easier for even heat distribution and for everyone else to eat easier.

Heineken made me quite bloated. I wasn't feeling drunk, just super uncomfortable due to the fizzy gas in my stomach.

=Chalet Day 3=
No Halo this time. Only bridge, bridge and more bridge... Somehow, mx is in his madcat form. He's rather high, keep raising the bid to 4 no triumph level and make everyone go crazy with it.

Woke up later than the checking out time. Rushed to pack and go...

=Election of New EXCO=
It's roughly the same way how lp, wj and I got elected last year. It's an event that will make some people surprised and some disappointed. There was really a serious consideration of every year 1s, who'll be more appropriate for the EXCO posts. I think that communication within EXCO and to other members need to be stressed. For my batch, I think I can work really well with lp and wj but maybe slightly lacking in the way message is passed down to members.

One who have the technical experience for a job is of course good. But for certain things, character is very important to look at when choosing a suitable person for a role as interpersonal relationship is often the underlying factor to keeping the club united.

Of course, whoever got or didn't get the posts, I wish to see all to stay united. We're still as 1 club. Hopefully, everyone can contribute indiscriminately to the club.

=Misc=
Somehow I find myself rather immature. I don't know myself that well yet. I take things on when maybe I may not even be prepared. That can only end up hurting myself ultimately. Opportunity is rare and it often slips through my hand as I'm indecisive. I need to learn to be a better person and then perhaps others will learn to cherish me as a valuable individual more.

Weather's getting so freaking hot nowadays. Imagine having intense heat from both the weather and the fire from bbq, how will that be like? I've got nothing to say about any other things else. I came across this short story which seems like a new one as I've not seen this one before. Here it goes:

==============================================
my mom only had one eye.
i hated her... she was such an embarressment..
my mom ran a small shop at a flea market.
she collected little weeds and such to sell...
anything for the money we needed
she was such an embarressment.
there was this one day during elementary school..
it was field day, and my mom came.
i was so embarressed. how could she do this to
me? i threw her a hateful look and ran out.

the next day at school...
"your mom only has one eye?!?!" ..and they
taunted me.
i wished that my mom would just dissappear from
this world
so i said to my mom,
"mom.. why dont you have the other eye?!
if you're only gonna make me a laughingstock,
why dont you just die?!!!"
my mom did not respond..
i guess i felt a little bad, but at the same time, it
felt good to think that i had said what i'd wanted to
say all this time..
maybe it was because my mom hadnt punished
me,
but i didnt think that i had hurt her feelings very
badly.

that night...
i woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass
of water.
my mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she
was afraid that she might wake me.
i took a look at her, then turned away.
because of the thing i had said to her earlier, there
was something pinching at me in the corner of my
heart.
even so, i hated my mother who was crying out of
her one eye. so i told myself that i would grow up
and become successful.
cause i hated my one-eyed mom and our
desperate poverty..

then i studied real hard.
i left my mother and came to Seoul and studied,
and got accepted in the Seoul University with all
the confidence i had.

then, i got married.
i bought a house of my own.
then i had kids, too..
now i'm living happily as a successful man.
i like it here because it's a place that doesnt
remind me of my mom.

this happiness was getting bigger and bigger,
when..

what?!
who's this?!
...it was my mother...
..still with her one eye.
it felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.
my little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
and i asked her,

"who are you?!"
"i dont know you!!!" as if trying to make that real. i
screamed at her," how dare you come to my
house and scare my daughter!"


"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

and to this, my mother quietly answered,
"oh, i'm so sorry. i may have gotten the wrong
address,"
and she dissappeared out of sight.


thank good ness... she doesnt recognize me..
i was quite relieved.

i told myself that i wasnt going to care, or think
about this for the rest of my life.
then a wave of relief came upon me...

one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came
to my house. so, lying to my wife that i was going
on a business trip, i went.
after the reunion, i went down to the old shack,
that i used to call a house...just out of curiosity

there, i found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
but i did not shed a single tear.
she had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a
letter to me.

my son...
i think my life has been long enough now..

and... i wont visit Seoul anymore...
but would it be too much to ask if i wanted you to
come visit me once in a while?
i miss you so much.. and i was so glad when i
heard you were coming for the reunion.
but i decided not to go to the school.
...for you...
and i'm sorry that i only have one eye, and i was
an embarressment for you.

you see, when you were very little, you got into
an
accident, and lost your eye. as a mom, i couldnt
stand watching you having to grow up with only
one eye... so i gave you mine...
i was so proud of my son that was seeing a
whole
new world for me, in my place, with that eye. i
was
never upset at you for anything you did.. the
couple times that you were angry with me,.. i
thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me..'

my son... oh, my son...
i dont want you to cry for me, because of my
death.

please dont cry....
my son, i love you so much.

something gripped the corner of my heart.

and tears were flowing from the eye that my
mother had given me..
my mom... my loving mom..
===============================================

It's really dreadfully hot for the past few days. I've been sweating awfully much, making my neck itchy. Yucks, especially when I'm doing housework.

I felt so guilty exploding on my parents when my mood is so foul. I don't know since when have I become so sensitive to words. Some words that were mentioned by them pricked me a lot even though after thinking through, it's rather mild which when similarly said by a friend, I won't even react to that.

A friend actually asks me what do I do in Friendster. It's a funny thing really. I can't even give a reasonable answer for that other than just accept "friends" whom I don't even know? There's a lot more features coming up like the "Classified" section but it's not for me yet. Haha... I doubt if I really do keep in contact with even 1/4 of all my primary friends in there.

I've seen a couple of lines I came across I thought seem to describe how I am.
- The guy who love you, actually always make you mad, but he never knew what stupid things he had done, as everything he did, is for your own good.
- The guy who love you, seldom praise you, but in his heart, you are the best, only he knows it.
- The guy who love you, maybe can't remember special occasion like some kind of anniversary, but he do know that every second he live, he's loving you no matter what day is today.
- The guy who love you, if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.
- The guy who love you, don't like little toy like teddy bear, but he will always put the bear you give him at his bed.
- The guy who really love you, will feel that sometimes, something have to be told for only
once, because he thought that u might already understand him, if talk so much, he will feel that
there's nothing you will cherish.

I feel kind of weird when people treat me overly nice. Sounds stupid and contradictory but that's just how my brain works. Subconsciously, a comparison will be drawn of how badly I've been treated and how nice some people can be. If only I can choose what to be remembered, what to be forgotten. (eg: tutorials and revision can't be forgotten... birthdays also. Will get blamed for sure)

Tired. I shall stop here. =X

=qiaonan service learning=
Hurray, the last session at qiaonan is over. Can free up my tuesday time slot after that.

My group's supposed to plan for the so called "Treasure Hunt" item which is the last item in today's final activity. Therefore, we have plentiful of time to source for information regarding their school and draft out the questions. Remember Han Sui telling me shane's disgusted expression when he glanced at our piece of paper which is supposed to be the proposal. Fortunately, the outcome didn't disappoint everyone. It's quite a success.

I can't believe the kids can get the answers in such a short time. Of course, the leaders must have helped a great deal also. Or else, they can't be sweating madly. Oh well, for today, they seem just as enthusiastic as the kids. May Ee was jumping around with the kids, so is Felicia. I remember taking more than 1 hour collecting all the resources...

Other games like the egg game looks fun also. I didn't see how exactly it's played but it seems to pump adrenaline in everyone.

I saw very large spiders on cobwebs spanning across 2 trees. Gosh, they are so humongous not like what I've seen before for a normal spider. Wanted to take pictures of them but appear just as dots in my phone. Ha..

=BBQ=
Accompanied maoxin to go shop and save to look for prices of the items to buy for barbeque. Ha, he's very efficient in helping y3 look at all the prices. Wonder if he's that efficient if i ask him for help. O_O

=misc=
Got blamed when i returned home today for not staying home to take care of my mum. Brother's at home and she can always call me if there's urgent stuff I need to help with. Besides I have school activity and not like I'm simply hanging out for no particular purposes...

My jukebox got a lot of stars. Maybe not a lot, just 2. Argh, it just looks weird... Not used to it.

Didn't know hc's blog got mp3. Or rather it's when i switch back to Internet explorer that I know there is because firefox cannot stream it.

The ticket was yours, and it's still yours. It hasn't become of any worth since you said before that you don't want already. Don't want to be labelled as thick-skinned because I'm already rejected for going with you before that. Even when I'm angry, I never once say I'm going to give that ticket away...

I've come to see how love not only involves two people. The complications involved is much more. Especially when the family control is very different. There are many things I know you hope I can be. But I just cannot be that person. It's hard to tell you exactly how I feel but cherishing each other isn't just one sided. It's distressing to feel how I'm not cherished but maybe that's just how I see things... Feelings aren't objective. There's no rights or wrongs.

=Sports Carnival Day 3=
During the morning assembly, Principal and a few other representatives from Singapore Pools and other associations were demonstrating the launch of Adventure Tower by conquering the tower. From the position I am, I can't tell who reached the top first which is really a WOW... "that's fast!" One did a special route which is to walk over the balancing wooden log and was described as walking the uncertain future, bla bla... Prize presentation for the Guest of honours was up there and eh... well, it just seems weird.

I thought they're going to fly down through the belay process but ha, no. The big poster is unravelled for the finale. Somehow it got stuck and shows a bit every shake.

Came super early in the morning as I don't know the time slot for the event I'm in. Felt quite drawn back when I saw the 2.15pm slot for the year 2s. I didn't bring anything much, can't even do tutorials... Sian. Wanted to idle around with mao xin but turn out he has something on. Yep, I'll be super bright if I continue to stick around with him thus I went to library.

Thanks cp for accompanying me for the boring moments in school. There isn't any comfortable spots for me to sleep... Not even in robotics room as I don't know who will enter and see my ugly sleeping look. Lol. Had my "lunch" at 11 at KFC nearby. I thought we might be caught getting out of school by either OM or Mr Tong but nope, they aren't nearby. Besides I see torrents of TJcians coming in and out of gates... so shouldn't be a problem.. Ha. The $2 meal is nice but not satisfying for my appetite.

When it was approximately 1 hour before the event, I went to the sports complex to idle around and to check for groupings. I'm questioned by friends why aren't I with my class. What can I say? Majority didn't even come to school and those that did are those hard to talk to.

The sales of the sports apparels is good. Sports bras are running out as the selling price is very much lower than the actual price.

Sat near the 02/04 CG. Got one girl who's really talkative caught my attention with humorous and crazy things she blurted out. Can't help laughing also. Lim pin's joke was equated as cold. Ha...

Ping aik wanted to look for more people to play dodgeball as there's lack of players. Can't help as Foosball is around the same time. Mao xin and I are in the same group. The first round was a winning match but consequently lost all.. How demoralising. Every round of match, mao xin has to go back and report to somebody, Lol.. That's still all right, but b4 he goes again, he'll have to report that he has to go in a soft mushy tone. Gosh, my goosebumps are all over. Ha...

=Aurora IX=
I was feeling quite pissed off as I've forgotten to take my ticket which I've left at home but was told that it's not possible for me to enter without the ticket. After all, I've bought ticket directly from them. Moreover, I've helped with the video... Can't they give grace to that?

On my way home, I spent my time reminicising the time when I feel sad about something. I must have devoted my feelings rather much in it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be feeling that hurt.

After retrieving the ticket, I went to eat with Des. Arrived school slightly earlier so I show him around in school. Some areas are rather dark so basically there's nothing much to see. The sports complex is still very active due to the Titans activities. Des enquired if the school is always that busy with a lot of activities. Pw says he'll be late so we go ahead with the concert. Jy and cp saw us and invited us to sit near them.

The seats were running out hastily. This was when I received the message. At a dilemma what I should do. Afterall, I didn't bring that ticket out. Can't just leave my secondary school friends as they come on my behalf. Can't concentrate on watching for the 1st half interval.

The MC is quite "cold". I can't find comfort in listening to his speech. Perhaps others share my sentiments also. It's evident when he started asking teachers and students about comments of the concert. He asked the audience to ask for encore after the last piece. I felt that it's really stupid of that. Isn't it supposed to be spontaneous reaction?

Mr Lieow made the encore piece end off very "spastic". When more "encore..." was demanded, he instructed to play the last line 3 more times. Oh well, special may be, I don't really find it that amusing.

At least I'm consoled when my name is written in the aurora IX booklet and read out during the acknowledgement part. Saw Chin Seng's shocked expression when he turned around to see if it's me. Yuting also gave me a very nice made "Thank You" card. Well, I'm jubilant that my efforts are appreciated. =)

The SYF piece is really very enchanting. Firstly, it's refreshing to hear chinese piece to be played on a westernised instrument, guitar. Secondly, the switch from slow and soft to fast and loud is perfect. No wonder they got gold with honours. Ming xiu did well with the cymbals, managed to start and stop in time. Cool..

After the concert, went to see Estella. She's so surprised to see me and jianyuan. Ha, perhaps she's expecting flowers too but there aren't. =P We're too shy to give her a hug but can see that she's in a very hyper mood.

After that, we stroll around in the bedok central. Most of the shops are already closed since the time is approaching 11. Ate peanut paste and bo bo cha cha with des and pw. They've changed quite a deal. In fact, they've become quite thick-skinned with their crap. He said something about popularity. He said he's hot... lol hence I ask him about his profile view in friendster. He said 50+ so far. Mine's nearly 4 times his count... Lol

Handed over the presents to pw. He seemed a bit shocked for it perhaps he didn't even expect any presents. Hope he likes the pink shirt better than the green shirt. Ha

=School Holidays=
It's the beginning of the holidays. I should plan my days well or I'll probably end up wasting endless time playing and spend futile time lamenting on regrets. There's already a series of activities settled in the holidays already.

-Robotics chalet
-class bbq/pa's bdae
-trip with jy for e-club's stuff (er... I don't have a choice?)
-kaipin's invitations

Bingz, I can go out with you but we can do something other than night walk ok? You can also ask other NY friends to come out along also ;)

=Misc=
How long do I have to continue with the housework. Maybe I'm just not used to do almost everything myself. But I'll get use to it soon. I just need space to thrash my frustrations out.

Mood: Worn out

This entry was intended to be long but I decided in the end to keep it short. It's already long passed my supposed sleeping time for today.

=Fizz! Store=
The sales may not be as good as other stalls like those selling ice creams, pizzas, and sports apparals, but at least we manage to recoup the sum we used to buy stuffs. I'm quite annoyed by the things some people do but I shan't mention names this time also. I hope I aren't looking at things in a tainted aspect.

It's hard to grab my friends to support my stall as in the first place, most aren't even in school. Most of them do not have events for today while some are excused for sports carnival. One of the occasion when I wanted to sell drinks to OAC, I ended up stepping on a deep puddle of mud water, resulting in an unsightly observable stain on my shoes... yargh.

=Badminton Finals=
TJ lost this time but I believe that they've tried their very best and still deserve the respect for their hardwork. I've heard news that RJ's team is very strong. There're a lot of things that come into play when determining one's championship in a match. Pressure is unavoidable.

=GP=
I was reading the markers' report for the recent essays that were marked. It's a rather terrifying experience for me. Had to seek help from dictionary every 2 lines. Imagine that on every page on that thick stack! I haven't even got the time to read through all other resources...

Perhaps there isn't a need for GP teachers to flaunt their wide knowledge of vocabulary when it comes into explanation of students' weaknesses. Introducing suggested answering techniques employs the use of good vocabs which I don't disagree but come on, it's just explanation... Make it simple for people like me!!

=Misc=
I'm told that I'm getting more spendthrift than how I used to spend. I don't think I splurge often on entertainment. Fine, since I'm not supposed to, I should just stay as a nerd and lock myself at home instead.

Mood: tired

realised there's actually a lot of stuff to test from the 3 chaps in physics test. Quite amazed that i can at least do some. =P Surrounded by muggers this morning when all trying to ask very chim questions...

got disgusted again as usual by the food chem lecturer. She tries to impress upon us how unhealth fats is but useful to certain extent. Hmz, theoretically should be quite interesting but her voice just too monotonous, still fall aslp.

mum's cough is subsiding which i tink is good. She intro me the dried longan food to eat wif a quota of 5.. Said tt it's good for health when taken in small amount.

found his blog le, it's not entirely a small matter to say wif... but i aren't a very petty person. If he does apologise or even juz say something to me, i'll acknowledge...

=things to come=
yea, finally pass the video done by me to ming hwee le. probably get to see my production on guitar club's memories at aurora IX soon.

hope got alot ppl come buy drinks from us, gotta sell quite alot in order not to make losses!

may tink of dyeing my hair, alot of white hair le...

=reflections=
was tinking if sumtimes whether i do have split personalities. I seem to do same things differently in a rather eh peculiar ways ba. Hmz, either tt or i'm just hu si luan xiang again. =/ i tink i hav to just keep doing things to keep my mind on the right track.

or rather, it's juz some sort of inferiority complex ba. Just feel tt i'm lousy in everyway regardless how others see me as...

mum's back from op. Here's how it is.. long list of updates, pls read selectively if u're busy.

day 1 of op:
pale coloured, feeble, almost unable to speak... Can't move much even though her back is hot...

day 2 of op:
throat super dry, still on drip, voice a lil bit better, able to move a lil.

day 3 of op:
can speak out loud le, can do things by her self, except on da process of lying down and getting up.. gets frequent rash cough, needs pat to b alrite.

now back at home... nids constant attention. Hav to do almost all da housework including mopping, sweeping, wash clothes, fold clothes, buy food, etc... I'm bushed... At least bro and dad helps to do some... Oh well, i'll get used to this soon since it's gonna be a routine for another 1 or 2 months.

=TJ Bball match=
It's interesting to see how after so many years of curse that they won't able to enter finals until after 20 yrs? That's v long, but tis year's one is definitely good! hahaz, cos it's champion mah!

But before the match was the real headache stuff, including transportation to the competition venue itself. There's supposed to be sufficient number of buses to carry us there but perhaps the kiasu nature of TJcians make it become so hard for everyone to get on bus. CGs get separated then, how awful... Some take taxis while some take SBS bus in the end.

On the way there, the SCs were teaching house and sch cheers. All the funny funny cheers which we didn't learn during our orientation and not taught again to the whole sch... came out. But the worst thing is tt SC guy din teach Beta house cheer! Hey, tt's unfair, there's betanites u noe...

Maybe on tt day, i'm tired or i'm angry or sad... either way, i'll remain quiet. even wif apologising doesn't realli makes my mood change immediately de. Maybe i'm juz too petty for a guy ba. When we reach there, i aint really got the mood to cheer loudly for the bball, not as loud as when i cheered for the volley ball match the other time. Besides, everyone's standing up this time, waste more energy lei... hahahz

Match is quite exciting just tt there're some rules which i'm not so familiar. U're nvr noe who's the winner until the last minute cos taking consideration the scoring system and the competitiveness of the players, tt's y it's so engaging.

TJ lead for the first 20 mins or so which got overpowered for a while later on by HCI. Maybe tt's when they start to lose focus ba. But when the match seems disappointing for TJ later on, TJ went all out to play. Tt's when all the surprise came in. When TJ emerged champion, the whole stadium was filled wif TJ's cries of victory! Yea, tt's super duper loud and deafening... The volume soon reached to a saturation pt tt it seems juz like a constant high pitch vibrating through my ears... The bball ppl were overjoyed, ran abt da bball grounds, wavering the sch flag high with pride. Nation anthem and sch song were sang after the prize ceremony.

Can't meet up with the class or joe for an outing cos i gotta rush home to visit my mum. I saw zg, chris and dexter on my way home.

=SPA=
okiez, i hav only physics spa tt thurs, gotta stay back late, cos after tt i have to hold the interview. It's a realli crazy day, everyone sort of know the question, no... they have the supposed answer scheme! Well... there's actually many versions of it, purely prepared by students ba. I duno which is correct actually. Somehow, i broke another promise again... shit.. i juz hate myself for tt... it's another mistake tt can never be undone...

when desai reminded us of the time left, everyone was giggling. I guess no one needs tt time since all completed in such short time...

=interview=
muahahaz.. tis's quite fun.. ok, not that i tekan the juniors but it's juz different. yep.. besides i truly want to know how they'll answer in this situation. Some gave quite disappointing answers not what we expect but hmz... i'll juz see how things go. let's hope they can go on with the planning soon.

=college cleaning=
sux... gotta wait very long before we can clean as there's listening inside the LT. felt so bored cos there's nth to do. Some ppl in our class juz sit at the stage under the LT. In the end, we juz play the so called spastic game, "di1 di3 di2 di1 di3, di4 di4" da name is in hanyu pinyin. hahaz. I think i improve alot on the response time. Din end up with all my fingers out and i manage to drag some ppl to a worser state, muahaha..

when we're finally able to clean, we find tt the other class isn't even in the LT at all.. Oh well, so we just carry on with the cleaning. Tried a few methods to clean: with purely water, wif da duno wad spray miss fong gave, etc... Yup, it's all pretty simple except for the cleaning of walls... Wth, i spend so much energy to clean the stains while some ppl in my class juz anyhow clean... ahem, shan't name who.. ya, but cos the cleaning agent's abit too strong, somehow the wall gets clean cos it's corroded.

I was blamed for taking 20/04's mop. Bleahz, seriously, i dino tt. My frend was using it and he pass on to me cos he's on the phone n kaoz, tt's how i ended up like a fool... zzz...

after all tt, 10/04 leaves earlier than 20/04. I din go home immediately, went to see how the poster is done... and ok, the photog is doing work, hahaz... thx alot =D and... cut down the number of drinks to be sold... seriously, i dun tink we're able to sell in time... 40 cans per hour... tt's alot...

yup, tt's all. end of updates. wow, spend abt 40 mins here.

duno y i'm bloggin when i've juz returned home an hour ago.

had real fun singing my heart out @ KBox in tampines. Thanks jy for da idea of giving me an idea to somehow make me feel much better. I felt so cooped up for very long. actually still, It's quite ex for me.. but okie la.. so many hours. Da staff din chase us out even though we're supposed to leave 45 min ago at 7 de. ate so much free flow snakes tt my throat's so dry... yucks.. perhaps they purposely add pepper or wad to make it spicy so you'll probably nid to buy MORE drinks. hahaz

sang quite alot of songs, although there's only me, jianyuan, esmond... we manage to sing a wide variety of songs like english, chinese, japanese, males' songs, females' songs, duet etc... dun ask me how we manage to sing female songs, we juz can... LOL duno if there's such time again..

GP lesson is still v stressing. mdm lim tokin abt rate of improvements... i tink although she din mention anything abt me, which i guess isnt good. i nid to do tings to improve my GP.. but how m i to get da time... i nid to give up alot of things i guess. wanted to get gp tuition but i'm told tt it may b similar to sch's teaching methods. so i get physics instead...

hey ppl, come get guitar tix.. hahaz, helping to promote for my ex-guitar mates. =X it's quite cheap, $7 oso wif gold wif honours std de lei...

aye... rushing interview stuff out... + sports carnival stuff, argh haiz...

still tinking of sum stuff but i tink eventually i still hav to shake it off... it may be better for everyone. i duno hw sad the other can b but i juz wanted da best way out, not tied together facing unhappiness every day.

nth ever da same anymore... in a myriad of feelings... all has bcome juz part of da memories to be painfully sealed... wad i cherish is no longer b any relevant anymore

awfully painful... beyond more den juz tears. essential problems undermine the outcome of a happy future. maybe it's easy to tink others r giving excuses but when u hear ur own words being accused as such, how excruciating can tt pain be... trust being misplaced

Maybe it's juz a better way out... whether it's rite anot, i duno.

hopefully everything will just be alrite for mum... she's juz acting if nth's ever happen, perhaps juz dun wan me to worry. I gotta b strong to help look out for each other in family den.

fri 13, wee.. lolz.. wad's there to crap abt today.

had lunch alone as usual fri will b... went to AI alone to return batt, tt's even worse!
got back maths test, failed as expected... haiz. luckily still got pass chem test.. din waste tues studyin so late.

thx gerard for da WCIII. My bro's havin his post-exam activities on tt ord... lolz

grr... can't even force any lil info outta y3 except tt she's attached? hahahz...

maybe isolation isnt such a bad idea afterall

mood: -tired-

Potato starch

woots... played water polo today. quite fun, no nid to swim actually... cos for us swimming thru will b slower. First half, our team is losing until duno y suddenly coordination bcomes v good... team members all trust each other ba. For Izzard's team, he throws to very few ppl only, hahaz..

found tis pic on the net. Got reminded that for the food chem, the lecturer showed us a pic of potato starch... Can't find the exact pic but closest was tt above.

Din go anywhere else ba... in sch till quite late. thx ky n mich for accompanying me... =D

Truly wanted to go out wif her de. Duno y always see me as reluctant feeling...

Mother's day celeb was quite fun. BBQ was almost da load of crap initially... had trouble getting proper fire. Luckily got LQ's bro who manage to help us a great deal. Ha... can't stand yanli n her bf crappin man... so lame... she delays her 21st bdae celebration to tt day... for me i tink it's weird to celeb bdae on a day nt ur bdae ba. Wad do u all think?

Fruit cake still nicer den choc cake i tink.. hahaz, den ate abit of steamboat oso. Chicken run was on da TV. rmb LQ luffin at da same crappy stuff me n my bro luffin at oso... =P I wanted to play mahjong to earn $$ but end up playin wif yl, her bf, LQ, me n my bro dai dee. Not bad.. first time win tt many rounds.. but no $$ de, how to anyway... but juz a few rounds hav to go home le... abit spoil sport but it was getting late oso le ba...

da nite sky was realli realli nice, how cool n nice it'll b to share hearts over tt nite...

Finally get to listen to almost the whole load of songs from jukebox to here. Dun nid to listen to da same old songs...

Some stuff tt i rmb, y is it tt ppl juz cant rmb? Is it cos it's so insignificant? Tt dun justify the reason y one shuld get angry ba. Besides, misunderstanding's getting so common nowadays, i hate my life now...

maybe i juz feel like running away from everything ba, anything anywhere far away...

mood: -unknown-

here's da long awaited updates. Quite tired recently to write much ba.. Besides there's alot of stuff tt I can't juz blog abt.

X-cube is trained over n over again so many times n not 1 time it can complete? how ridiculous. Yet when it's tried after competition is over.. it can make it... i've nth to say manz... Thanatos got score but of cos isnt even on par wif dover's timing. It's juz a world for new robots not old ones ba.. It's quite depressing for me ba... Not even an achievement in my period of duty, I've failed...

There's no prelim rounds, juz straight into da maze wif lotsa parking lots. RJ did curve turn explore but failed. NYJ hav familiar running ability as WRSS... hintz... CJ too. Some have very very slow explore pace... dun hav patience watching it run. I was having tis conclusion if it's a marketing strategy to push all schools to buy newer n better mouse so tt they hav da $$ to gain from it...

I din flirt to get da chairman position.. can criticise abt my capability n nt other stuff... I certainly did not.. If in the first place, u arent happy abt it.. shulda juz say.. duno wad else to say abt it.. i certainly m nt biased against anyone. i can joke abt sum1 but tt's certainly juz joke nth much against da person. Besides being too -ve abt sumthin juz taints anyting tt is neutral, BLACK~ Guess tt's abt all i have to say ba...

thx chingz for ur gd luck =)

bought marshmallows a while back... can't finish all.. aye~ have to eat slowly den..

Mood: -incomplete-

weird atmosphere's playing in da air...

chingz: hope u find da bread nice =) brown one represents me n da other is u, hahaz

yanyi: ok, fine.. :P i always noe i'm slow~ dun nid to re-iterate de rite.. if i wana link, could hav done so v early...

Robo:
battery got serious problem but cos it's encapsulated within da robot. It's very hard to change it. Da only possible time is on Tues. Tis's da only time when i hate labour's day. Can't repair earlier... Yanyi tell me help available but in a v pathetic form. Still muz do cheating summore... strictly, i dun tink i shuld allow... risky.. dun wan invest such risk.. lp's grp mse seems ok le. Mine oso but juz tt dumb prob. Even if tues go down, may nid to do sum DIY oso, yong tau hu wun help us dismantle n assemble i tink.

misc:
offended wj. it's nt entirely my fault ba.. dino wad happened oso... hope he's ok.

if there's anything bu shuang, shuld say out. dun say out oso shuldnt say bad things abt ppl.. it's juz wrong. besides there's always 2 sides of da story, having heard 1 side isnt close to truth at all.. not even near...

mood: -worried-

hmz.. i smell sum fishy incidents in robotics.. sum scandalous stuff again. sense sum ^@=@^.. hahaz, kidding, dun take me 4 real ya?

muaz, mouse diagonal still nt v nice but it's sumthing i've tried doing, duno whether consider much improvements.. straight dash v hard le..

juz wana everyone to contribute abit for robotics ba.. be it time or effort. shuldnt juz siam away a time like tt.. Other ppl's bothering to come n do stuff lor.

GP period do nth productive. My grp sit down there tok cok or stoning till da lecture starts... saw hw joe got 'kai'. lol... seems like gay porn though. JY's realli crappy lor, get on zhiren's nerves.. hahaz...

wahaha... got several new songs to listen le.. yay.. cos jukebox software got prob cant transfer song, sad man. Duno hw to solve oso.

mood: -busy-

in a state of dilemma. My friends dun realli noe what m i tinking. To them, things r juz tt simple and easy as it is. Of cuz i hope it is, but sumthing's juz lacking. No one is apparent upset, but maybe juz me feeling empty. trying to b cheerful juz deceives myself nothing except da perception of others. in a time when negative feedback is more frequent, one often gets discouraged.

I'm so happy for TJ Guitar Club. Gold wif honours lei! Heard dey're d only one among d jcs to get tt! even though other jcs hav put up very gd show wif both performance and appearance. Tis shows juz hw much guitar club has strived to achieve.

I din go on wed cos got BMTC k.. dun say i go elsewhere for duno wad purpose. Gona stay back every possible day to do mm. Dun wana hav any regrets when i step down. It'll be one of da last show in my jc phase le, wana get sum results. It's hard to moltivate everyone... still tinking of a way.

ZG's a v frendly chap to tok wif. A cheerful person tt can constantly bring delight to his frenz arnd him. if only i'm tt pro. hahaz...

Mood: -turbulent-

ha, realised i post twice da same post.. deleted it le..

y's everybody again so sad.. everyone's mood's like a sinusoidal wave... there's alot of secrets everyone is holding now ba juz dun share only, n i tink tt's y. i tink i m like tt oso ba.. sorry esmond for waiting so long for me... realli v sorry lei... anyway, tell me ur new blog when ready..

thx chingz for ur cookies.. realli yummy although abit chao da~ i realli appreciate ur efforts to bake tt, although not only for me la...haha

tink i'll screw up tis computing coursework la.. so damn depressed... it's very high weightage out of da A lvl sub lei... jialat la... no use crying over spilt milk le, haiz...

Robo competition coming soon le.. 5th may.. i feel tt our mse std still nt there yet... hw to compete.. haiz... mayb muz make da members stay back more.. me inclusive ba...

Mood: -unknown-

bloggin again. End of a week le..

found out tt i kinda 4gotten alot of integration stuff n thru today's remedial tt i'm aware of it.. opps..haha. Gotta rewrite GP essay for mdm lim.. haiz... i'm juz so lousy in tt...

Mum's very happy wif da bdae card i got for her... gosh, it din cost cheap... spend 5.90 for tt... dotz... shulda ask first...

still duno wad mx is unhappy abt.. but oh well muz b stressed up cos of competition ba.. hope he'll b alrite soon.

misc
found a pic lim pin was showing n finds tt it looks like mr desai. haa
forum's cg topic gettin nowhere, finding crappy topics to tok ba... haz

mood: =sian=

luv's such a fragile thing...

nvr meant to hurt her but da words i said juz seem so... hate myself for being like tt... can't seem to change but from da start tt's nvr wad i meant... if only u can see it. Y will i wan u be a dummy? If u nvr blive wad i've said, i can nvr say anything more...

mood: =speechless,hurt=

kk, posting friday's stuff... skip ahead for juz class outings.

fri's sports day so supposedly dismissed at 12, so only computing's period is skipped. supposed to come back by 1.30 so as to let everything proceeds at 2 sharp. The sports day is kinda disorganised ba... lotsa spectators din wear hse t. but quite a few ppl pon oso... i din pon cos of class outing. but betta nt too cos gotta write letter to ms fong, ha.. gd luck jee siang.

da interval between events are rather long n thus fails to capture everyone's attention constantly. Other than tt, i will say tt da program sequence should be good ba. There's a variety of programs from taekwondo, teachers-students tug of war, cheerleading apart from da usual events of running, javelin, discus etc... Cheerleading is interesting actually but somehow alpha and beta house have the same kinda dancing styles to gamma and delta... Duno hw delta won da cheerleading part... realli nt much stunts lor.. i tink beta's good... special ba.. even though got 1 gal fell twice.

Delta oso won da overall hse championship... tink, cos dey had alota participation. mm... actually, beta hse oso got v gd runners ba.. cant realli rmb da names ya...

felt caged for several hours n da pain comes in when waiting during da interval for smth interesting to happen. got tok, play games but still feel v v sian... later went to see tennis match lor. Can't realli see much actually, cos my view's partly blocked by da ppl tt had flocked in front of me alot earlier... din buy any ice cream to eat cos heard it's nt tt nice..

when finally allowed to be dismissed after da prize presentation n da sch song which is ord like 6.30, da gals had been waiting for abt 30 mins le lor... somehw managed to sneak out.. abit disappointed when after much discussion da outing wasnt according to initial plan of going to marina bay but to suntec. n i tink it's my suggestion =P haha...

played da finger rhythm game in d MRT n made realli a hell lota noise... outsiders probably will hav quite -ve impression of TJcians le ba, haha... I seem to make myself a fool lor, slow rxn time... tink all my fingers sticked out cos kana tricked so many times by joe... lol, est.. muz zi dian wo lei~

KBox was 1 of da idea when we reached but cos we din make appointment n nt a member yet, at 8 can only sing to 10 which isnt tt worthy.... so in the end din go sing... but den i realli wanted to sing de lor... haiz, hope nxt time got da chance lor, hahah...

in the end, choose to eat at kenny rogers but cos it's abit late for wei quan, he has to get off first so din join us... quite a pity, afterall he hasnt realli attended our class outing.. well.. firstly, da service attendant wasnt realli nice... she sounded like if we're nt happy wif da seats we can leave... (she din say so but her tone suggested smthin similar) but in d first place, we arent... we're juz deciding who sits where... joe dun wan share da family platter so everyone eats kenny quarters lor.. tot macaroni cheese's nice but nt to consuming a large portion down ur stomach... it's different.. for me i'll get abit sick... but cos of da chicken mainly, i'm v full... it's 1/4 chicken as d name suggests. d so called muffin dun taste v nice ba mayb cos i'm towards full limit?

but cos me, jy, mx n joe sitting in d smaller table, din get to join da fingers game again... but i get to take pics of jy's masterpiece of leftovers and eil and alex's masterpiece of smiley leftovers... (raise eyebrows, potential lao gong lao puo, haha).. after hanging in there for sometime, took our time to walk out n took pics arnd there... esmond was asked to take pics wif 2 grps..shan't elaborate more... haha

i havent transfer da photos taken from hp to here... will upload soon if managed to get it here... keep out for updates k?

=saturday=

swam from 11-1.20. now having painful sunburnt skin le... agreed b4 hand cos din noe gettin burnt wun b tt fast ba... after all esmond wana get tanned... feeling exothermic now..

went watch infection wif hoi ching. it's actually quite engaging n alot of times it's juz ppl scaring ppl... nt even ghosts or wad... earlier parts was kinda disgusting... saw hc almost cover her eyes le... haha... tot she'll b brave de ba... at least alot better den da class gals... was realli nt hungry so din share pop corns. ate a few nachos only ba... but d show din realli make much sense to me ba... haha.. tink it'll b quite some time b4 i can watch another... i'm nt sponsored for movies anymore. had a walk after tt, felt much better tokin under da starlights even though we're sumtimes juz immersed in da silence of d nite... duno hw she feels abt tt...maybe juz tink i'm boring... felt super pissed wif myself.. din send her home cos i'll definitely b locked out if go home too late but i tot i should at least send her home... haiz.

tink tt's all 4 now ba...

yea... finally hav da chance to update le..or she'll hav nth to read again, haha..

Almost considered no school today. Attended chem lesson and after tt got pink form n zao... Hav not much idea where CMPB is except tt it's around redhill.. My pa wan send me there but b4 tt end up waiting for my parents to eat their '2nd breakfast', lol. I still feel full at tt time. Forced to eat popia at least...

When i reached there, i've gotta figure my way thru. Hav no idea where CMPB is. It's actually part of the duno wad defence building.. The e-registration sys sux lor. Gotta wait so damn long b4 i can actually login. I'm pretty sure i waited more than 1 hr. Not sure whether got 2 hrs anot... probably so. Sat there like a fool... 4gotten bro's IC n end up hav to fax over dat info at a later time... sux man...

wanted to watch pacifier wif chingz but went to watch wif classmates liao... boohooz, nvm, aiming for sahara... seems like a good one... hmmz...

saw an email tt's quite touching. was abt a man n a women married for 11 yrs b4 they conceive a baby. n to them, it's almost everything. until 1 day when da father went out leaving da mother n da child. He told her to keep da bottle of medicine away from da child but da mother was pre-occupied wif sumthing. Da kid had no idea wad tt bottle was n drank all. When da mother discovered, da kid was heavily poisoned ord cuz tt's meant to b for adults to take in small quantity. In the end da kid died, n da mum was very upset but duno hw will her husband react when he come to da hospital..

When he did, he saw the child n turn to her, crying out, "I love you darling". Da mother almost couldnt believe wad she heard cos she wasnt expecting him to say tt. But da father realise wad's done is done. Both of them r v upset n she needs most is sum1 to console n not to deepen da feeling by scolding her.. If only there were such forgiving spirit around, the world will seem like a better place...

10/04 actually hav bdae celeb tis yr.. pretty surprising.. It's so rare tt everyone juz gathers together to do sumthing wad is not compulsory. So touching... haha, ate pizzas but i only manage to hav 2.5 slices n still not full.. But ms fong pay one... ha, it's ord v good for her to buy 6 boxes ba... Took alot of photos as a 'family', photos of gd frends, photos of da guys 2gether etc... But wad's eh... weird is cos it's belated one. 11/04 is celebrating and i'm nt sure abt 09/04 lor... tink yr 1 oso got ppl bdae, so canteen was quite noisy. But den all these celebrations sorta delay sum time of mr desai's lesson n i can tell he's quite angry... yup, seldom see him like tt de.

hope i wun hav too much things to do when i find out from my classmates wad had been said..

mood: -sian-

I don't know why but internet seems very slow today. MSN slow, blogger slow, maybe because it's the singnet connection.

Watched the vidlit flash movie, it seems interesting, but perhaps because it's quite long, you'll get bored by it quite soon if you don't give it extra attention. At least it's better than www.badgerbadgerbadger.com. That one really sucks, it's irritating moreover.

Pulling a smile when you're sad is really hard. But I guess everyone is doing that somehow. But I think everyone who bothers to put an effort deserves encouragement. Why make the world such a sad place and not one which is full of humanity warmth. Ok, maybe I don't know what I'm saying... Spouting rubbish again.

I'm pro at making people sad, i've kind of figure that out. Sad actually, don't know why it just have to be this way. Or am I just tormenting myself? I don't know, don't have an answer for that. I just need someone by my side to console me. Isn't that simple enough?

Mood: -erratic-

today's a fun day! though desmond as usual overslp n miss da running appointment wif me, i went for a free trip to wild wild wet as suggested by my uncle. Had to pang sei esmond again, so paiseh, sorry ah, nxt time go swim wif u.

deir's nt many fun things in wild wild wet nw tt i've played. First station was da dble man slide... duno wad's dat exact name le... had to queue bloody long b4 get a turn which lasted no more den 30s. diao rite~? but at least when at da instant of dropping off... it's realli so darn cool... i'm almost dropping off... maybe cos i'm light? felt myself almost detached from da float... din manage to open eyes for 1 sec... haha

nxt up is da shiok pool whereby i call it lazy pool: dun realli hav to move, let da wave push u along... it's v comfortable actually... i realise w/o da float, walking thru it is fun... tried tis twice... it's good for relaxing when u're giddy.

thirdly, tried da 6 ppl ular lah station n end up queueing pretty long too... but luckily due to me n my bro playin only, we're allowed to grp wif 3 other ppl in da front queue... hehez, sum ppl muz b quite annoyed by jumpin queues ba... initially, da spin off is fun.. but till da middle sect, da thrill dies off... last part even got camera auto photo shot... well, nth much unless u wana buy... if it is, make sure u're facing da camera first, haha...

fourth, played da wave pool, it's v cool, rather vigorous waveforms n almost got me sinked or so i tink... i was at da 1.5m section n ord wif da wave, it rose to probably 1.8 tt kinda engulf me when i wana breath... horrible... haz, den tried gg back to shore but da splash was also v violent n in fact can be rather painful. da grnd is rather rough n u may rub n hurt urself... my cousin did...

den later tried da 2nd lvl waterworks... it's fun oso, total pitch dark in da completely covered tube... heez, got 1 joker screamed damn loud inside like as if it's so scary... for me when i tried, din expect it to b so so long b4 i come out... yah, tried holding my breath so when i splurge out of tube it wun b so shockin...

yea, basically tried almost everything besides da rider one... but i spend 3/4 of time waiting n da rest playin only lor.. so sian, if only waiting time is reduced.

Met chingz after tt, thanx for accompanying me for dinner... wanted to spring a surprise on u but well, maybe it worked too well tt it sprang back at me... argh, end up din say wad i wanted to.. Hope u like my gift anyway! :D (maybe i'm too blunt, dun take da words i've said jk to heart, it's nt true at all when i said it's jkin, pls blive tt)

coursework n chem test is coming... argh, gotta mug...

Mood: -giddy-

Met her at da interchange n realli din expect so many ppl pops up wif her... Shocked*, lol... n somemore cY is asked to trail all da way up lar... makes me so paiseh... zz

Yea, finally understood abit of discrete random variable thx to hansui n geraldine.. was kinda figuring it out during econs period.. n Yea GP watch video..better den go for lesson. n Yea, my front crawl style improve le... at least i get da gist of breathing wif it.. was kinda shocked when da tcher says i'm fine wif it n ask me to scram to da advance beginner.. i realli wana perfect tt first mah... anyway, my hair feels realli dry... scared it'll flake off like tt...

find myself havin fats arnd my waist... hw much more do i hav to exercise b4 it's gone? it's realli hard to get rid of it...haiz..

wad ms fong said earlier on abt hating ourselves though sound funny, but i tink it's realli v true if i wana improve.. so let me hate GP more.. lol, no lar... i'm juz gona work harder.. but i dun tink buying newsweek, national geographic now will help... perhaps abit..but nt worthwhile considering da time left to A lvl...

i nid time for my coursework next week le... will try refrain from bloggin for a while... nid concentration...

Mood: -crazy-

do i realli seem flirtatious? Honestly, according to how i tink, i dun tink so.. or i'm not realli trying to flirt ba, or perhaps it's defined differently according to different ppl.. aiya, duno la

ha, so surprised bingz still rmb me, tot he's busy campaigning sum stuff, haha... thx for dropping by. n next time u ask me out, pls dun in d middle of nite to nowhere, thx :P

prayed for Qing Ming fest, realise alot of relatives din turn up... is it due to an attachment to da person for da reason to pray or believe tt it's an annual traditional stuff tt muz b followed? i tink perhaps more of da previous case n tt's y sum choose nt to pray. Sad case maybe... nt for da fact of nt respectin da deceased but hw fragile human relationships can sour in such fast time.. besides when a person dies, u dun even noe if there's a realm for him/her beyond, haha... i suppose when it comes to da time to handle my parents (choy, juz if la) i'll do it cos i luv them ba.

was kinda tinkin abt my past during da wkends... i've realli changed over da yrs. perhaps sum of u all think otherwise cos of my face or height or wadever... but da inner self has changed... more crappy, more open, more image conscious, more aware of ppl's character, more easily pissed off, less intelligent etc...

after wad i tok to my bro abt relationship stuff, i realise affairs of d heart is realli sumthin quite puzzling, u can't realli always choose who u like, or it's probably nt sumthin from ur inner self.. ur heart may choose sum1 who wun like u or worse sum1 u canot like..

thx hansui for scannin da tuts for me n da new testi... zzz, losing file over wkend damn jialat...

lol, saw da pic chingz showed me... bet cy muz b damn upset ba... ha, i shant be nosey abt tt..

super bored... argh, nth to do... cant play PS, feels like screaming my inner frustrations out.... zzz

Eye 10
Ha, ok..tis's better den boogeyman... ghosts r ugly, yar, dey r... n i can understand da plot at least. But sumtimes i find myself being scared by sound fx rather den da show..nt sure lar.. a combination of both? I still can't 4get da funny parts of da movie when i'm actually expecting sumthing frightening... k, those parts r kinda lame~ Alex, esmond, mao xin, joe dun wana go after when the venue is changed to TM... sian, left 5 including me...

jy's so damn crappy lor, when he's in da bus wif me n geraldine, it's so noisy.. ha too bad he still din manage to peek at geraldine's phone... wonder if hansui's ok alone... seems abit gong gong after da movie..

MISC
v surprised when estella wrote me a testi.. wonder wad makes her do so.. maybe cuz she's bored? anyway, will appreciate any testi any of my frend writes for me.. thx to all who wrote. Friendster has tis new feature tt allows us to upload more photos. I realise those in d photos quite old le, n all new ones r in my phone.. desperately nid smth to transfer those to my com... anything as long as it's nt mms...

Stupid me, duno whether to luff at myself or wad... leavin my file behind in sch...damn, hw could i hav not noticed da weight difference of my bag since da file is so damn big... -__-"

JAE postings
Heard some commotions abt ppl who wanted so much to get in din... alota appeals. But some v indecisive, put other jc as their choice n eventually regretted n wan to return to TJ. der's so many appeal cases lor, now nt even including 2nd intake appeals...

Sports Carnival
Gotta plan games or food for tt lar.. it's compulsory... robotics always inert to sch events one lor.. nw doing smth like tt n proposal in 2 days time... shuld give longer period grace of submission lorz...

Service Learning
da kids r kinda cute lar... in small bunch yes... nt as in a whole class... erwin din pass me camera or wadsoever so din take pics... only got 4 ppl, but spend $4+ to give dem chocs... v lil somemore. Din noe got tcher monitor one... tot it's 'zi you fa hui' one...

Duno wad to do for robotics tmr... training or farewell party for some of them.. duno lei... i find tt it's always me who's tinkin of wad to do... wad abt lp? Yest did computing until 2 yest. It's so freaking tiring for me ord who's slpin like 1+ prev days oso... But still din manage to complete all da tasks requirements... mr chua din realli say much abt mine but can tell tt he's nt happy abt it... even da hardworking wei quan oso got criticised quite abit...

Finally managed to squeeze 1 free cookie from jy after so long.. n it's after when i agree to help him carry stuff from tcher's car to da library lar.. dat eclub gal muz b tinkin y tis non-eclub person always doing tings abt e-club... nt realli dg oso lar.. last time help jy buy cookies n pass msg...lol, dumb man...

i tink i've kinda mastered secrets keeping technique to 60%? lol... manage to keep v impt secrets confidential.. it's v crucial lor...dun wana offend ppl anymore le(indirectly)... wad's said's been said... no matter how time passed, it can nvr be erased from memory completely...

Mood: -lonely soul-

Realised tt no matter how strong a person may appear to be, when he or she's sick, the person is at its weakest moment, n always in need of someone's care...

Thanks mei, for trying so hard to stay in contact. I tink i'm kinda neglecting u abit. Now tt u've got someone to take care of u, i wun feel so bad. I owe u one... Maybe during long hols go out wif ya ba :P

Watched 'Son of the Mask' today... Duno y, the mask juz din feel as crazy as Stanley's mask... Perhaps Jim Carrey has more wonderful facial expressions ba. And perhaps i tink i'm abit too old for tt sort of siao siao film. The baby's cute nevertheless... Reminds me of tt the other show 'series of unfortunate events'... Maybe baby power is getting in trend.

Din realli managed to revise during hols... wasted. Juz feel tired actually... lack of self-discipline.. I'm someone who nids ppl to spur me on... haiz

found out dat da way of blocking entry's actually using diaryX to blog... nvm den juz use a different colour to write like how esmond's writing den...

chem's so super sian... sitting in LT for more den 3 hrs.. wif only 10 min break. Many of us cos of tt give business to sch bkshop liao..ha. tmr got physics, shit cant finish analog electronics...zz...

stop here ba...

found out tt actually she's nt so mad abt tt... ha.. forget it man...

she's juz too sensitive. I tink i said it tt day as a mild joke, not something serious, not even considered a proper comment abt her... Yet, she's feelin kinda hurt n dun accept my apologies. it upsets me when she juz dun accept.. cos i noe hw u feel if i were in ur shoes but wad happened ord in da past, hope u 4get tt.. i feel v comfortable wif u arnd k, it's not abt toleration at all, pls do understand... i juz wana be where we were... u shuldnt reflect anymore, it's my fault to start with....

Mood: -hurt-

din realli feel like bloggin, no mood...

supposed to meet in sch for discussion of gigahertz comp but in the end nth much was settled except BH intro me 1 site rather useful to practise questions.. For cult doc, i was kinda sian abt tt too, gotta wait till 2 b4 it starts. Felt rather lonely eating today... saw alot of my guitar frends but prefer nt to sit wif them... duno y, perhaps da fear tt sumone in there may tink i'm v xtra... not in guitar still wana sit wif them... kinda sad realli, cos nt all of them r like tt..

During da meeting, felt rather awkward, jy's sitting in btw sumone whom i dun realli wana tok to or see... no choice.. perhaps tt's wad makes me so awfully quiet throughout. I tink lan anh, may n shane will have realised it ba... Shane purposely asks me a ques of wad's service learnin all abt suddenly. Maybe he tot i was dreamin, tryin to pull me back into da conversation ba...

my mum's kinda sick, nids to go for op. I'm realli worried tis time but din realli show our worries... tt's juz gona make her feel more upset...

when can da 250mb comes for hotmail singapore... tink it's a rather biased n dumb idea to juz allow US, UK residents to hav tt advantage... if nt for da fact tt i've used it pretty long le, i will hav make da switch to other email providers ba... there's plenty if u wana search for... even using gmail will b good.

Ha, eil's always sayin miss me but nvr realli got to hang out wif her... busy gal ba...
Chingz, dun worry. I'm nt avoiding u, so dun feel upset abt anything k?

Temasek Idol seems better than last year. But da SC started everything so late tt it sorta push back da schedule late. Grp performances weren't as satisfactory as solo performances. For band performances, main problem is either cos can't sing high pitch well or voice overridden by da loud drum and e-guitar sounds ba... Or it'll be pretty perfect ba...

Got 1 boy band called 5 sf called criticised v severely tt i can still rmb wad da judges say.. "Congratulations, u've juz wasted 10 mins of my life!!", "Tt was entertaining but it's not a compliment.","do u noe tis's da finals? Din u even practise b4 u come here? Other grps given a chance would hav done better","amateurish",etc...

Another grp called lil chickens r realli very -__-". Maybe sum gals may find them cute but it's realli quite lao tu.. They act cute in a v er xin manner, realli admire deir courage for standing up to perform tt sorta way to da audience. Cat high ones... haha

Solo ones r generally ok, had a hard time choosing fairly. Melissa had a very nice voice wif nice piano music, song xia v confident n sings pretty well.. so is owen n gladwin, and izatti dey all had their own flair. But maybe had shown their weakness in some areas. It's abit unfair to let Charles win da 2nd time ba... Well... no choice, da ppl juz luv him~ zai voice, can produce melodic music n hard beat techno music...

i was v disappointed wif da gals' response. Dey're so .... duno wad to term it...sexist? Fiona and Hansui's response (but i bet it's not juz them) refuse to let da guys join da outing. Later, dey added: After much discussion, we agree to let u all join provided u all satisfy one condition which is to keep ur mouth shut n let us decide where to go.. I see ord instantly feel damn buay song lar... like wad's wrong wif dem... cant da guys even hav ideas to suggest or wad? Eventually decided tt me n esmond juz go home. Da same problem goes wif today's NUS trip. It's da same same situation again... Gg on deir own.. Fine, wadever..

Gg arnd in NUS after NOI wif joel. Got 6 qns tt we hadda solve, i tink i only manage solve 1 which is realli a sad case lar.. got ppl solvin 4-6 lor... Haiz.. maybe din put enugh effort ba.. Nvrtheless got many freebies ba. Bag+Shirt+Writing pad+pen+magazine... Other freebies got from openhouse de... Felt so xtra in my green TJ uniform so decided to change to casual clothes lor... Met huimin, cleyra, roy, sabrina, shu xia, leong ho, class gals n many other Tjcians lor... Gotta noe later tt mx, alex's gg..separately...

Felt -zzz- when estella dropped her ice cream on my shirt.. can't wipe away, walkin arnd wif my shirt like tt... feels stupid as if i dun even noe hw to eat properly...

Finally gave away de presents to desmond le, he seems pretty pleased wif my gift. So happy tt likes it.. Maybe tt's in contrast wif his frends' treat to food court? haha :P

PE's kinda crazy man.. Did 3 laps of gg up n down all 3 galleries in 3 rounds within sum timing and did 30 normal push ups, 10 left leg push up, 10 right leg push up, 10 spider push ups. After tt, do leg raise... abt 10 ba... (tis da part tt seems eternal..) for 10 counts each. Den later do backhand pushups for abt 5 or so for 10 counts... it's pretty hard as it's straining for my back... juz when i tot it's over, another 20 or 30 pushups... -__-"

today rare chance sia, class get to eat not in da usual order of guys eat together, gals eat together. Today's formation is basically econs pple n non econs pple ba... haha.

hols assignment is horrible esp for chem... so much to do lorz.. oso gotta come back for xtra lesson. dun tink there'll be any hol mood. It's an indication for da yr 2s to be prepared for a full series of muggin when sch reopens...

repair cost shooting up, gettin worried.. looks like it's nt getting anywhere, repair is being done more often den training in proper... whose fault is tt...

go back home wif yyy and mx. yyy keeps on tellin her frends i'm an IP student. Her frends look like 1/2 blive 1/2 not like tt.. i oso duno wad to say... there's juz smth tt canot be changed abt me ba. I can grow fatter, muscular, or thinner but not taller. sadz...

i always tink this story's useful to dealing wif life. Let da hurt n sorrow be written on da sand while let all da good deeds ppl do for us be engraved on a stone, so tt eventually as time passes, only da good deeds will be remembered and not da unhappy things tt happened. It makes life easier. I learn tt being petty is no use, learn to accept things as they are n smile is better, even though u may nt be realli happy behind those smiles.

today's juz a realli realli tiring day. feeling pretty feverish also.. nt out of luv or anything, haha..

I tink i realli slack too much le lor.. I dun wan to be so lag behind in physics. I wana find back da moltivation I've lost. After listening to principal's toks, i tink I'll try working harder~ i dun wan to be told to drop any..

got suan again on d way to AI. Happen to see chingz n juz a hi can keep my ear bombarded for 30 min? mx n jy were saying wad vicki, wad sc gal n duno wad bullshit larz.. i'm quite touched tt dey actually accompany me to AI even though i din ask them to anyway.

enjoying the earli dismissal for today to watch a movie... which i've kinda forgotten the name.. Da story's juz like a dream, another fantasy.. But this one has a lil idea behind it: children's words r impt, but adults tend to overlook it + there's plenty of nasty pple out in da world but there's oso a minority of realli good ones, it's up to us to put in effort to find our lil heaven... kinda cute ideas anyway...

Met biao jie at TM oso... n my frends like weina, like continue to oo... who's her... Tot it's actually pretty obvious btw our age? do i look too old or she looks too young? haha..

kinda broke for today. bought a 29.90 shirt for des, excluding caveat's pres and topping up of ezlink card... tink da transfer cable will have to wait den... sian. But it's quite surprising tt da gals actually went shopping along with me oso though they nag here n there complaining i'm slow. (tink they're slower actually)

Quite surprised tt thru 1 short session of activity can get to noe another frend liao.. happen to be in da same jc in da 1st 3 mths oso.. lol... but din realise tt earlier, haha.. fate..

Almost dig out esmond's lil secret but nt yet.. dun wana tell.. haha...he said until so sure as if smth will definitely happen in June. Est gave him an advice tt some things muz confirm canot juz go according to 'feel'. It's nt always accurate but nvrtheless hope it'll be smth good den!

Looks like lotsa guys r getting attached by this time le.. always felt inferior in a way when dey're n i'm not... failure..haiz...

A lvl results released. It seems like this year there're many who score very well.. Da best is from RJ. My mum's naggin abt da similarity of da scholar's background wif ours yet dere's a world of difference of me and him. Some ppl are juz born smart and more dilligent ba.. Can't be help :P Maybe i can get inspired by them. I wan to get 4As oso, haha.. but i hope my GP wun be too bad la... it's my greatest concern of all...

TJ perform pretty good too. Heard it's another best compared with these 5 yrs. Too bad da ranking among jcs have been done away. Otherwise, it'll be exciting to look out for which college's higher n which's lower.. But you quan din score all A's. I tot he would.. Jaron got 1 C. Spoils da other As. Not sure for sabrina though. 10/04's chinese avg la. Quite a few got A1 though. Anyway, tink they're all dropping L2 le lor. Hope cos of tt, can get a change in timetable! I wan early dismissal!

Juz realise NOI is on 12th too.. Maybe i'll meet u ppl after da competition.

Want list: usb transfer cable for my hp/infra red receiver oso can.. haha

i'm juz suck at consoling pple. I tink she din actually feel better. I duno wad to do actually...

anyway, today in sch, mrs leong pickin on cr again. I tink she's nt da only one smsing lor, but yet get caught and being reprimanded directly. I guess any being will feel v awkward under tt situation ba... mrs leong din tink tt way, juz tot tt she's rude..

During da time in canteen, she's still buggin us, askin abt where's cr. Interrogating pa why she left, etc... duno how she asks until pa wana cry ord lor... dampen all our moods lor.

i tink i'm gg to buy presents in bulk. Lots of my frends bdae r round da corner + those overdue ones... (:P guilty), haha..

i may be considering buyin dumbells to train..not tt heavy sort one la.. heard it's pretty effective cos it's v convenient.

i'm gg for NUS openhse on 12 Mar, interested ppl, can contact me if u wana join me oso..

today another fun day for me.. heez, maths no xtra lesson.. almost 1st time tis yr i tink. ms fong oso din particularly pick on me to ans ques...

waited so damn long for da adventure tower prog to start. i tot i may well use da time to study physics but apparently not so. mx n jy was wif me n yup, chit chatting for so long.. after mx's gone, came fiona n continue da chit chatting till da thing start. Din noe i'm so gd at chatting oso... Fiona even more zai, can tok on phone for abt an hour n chat wif us all at da same time... And i realise 1 thing bout mixed sch is tt, when u sit wif a gal n chat too long, ppl'll tink u're both a couple... haha, not true sometimes..

there r 2 parts to da program, one part - climbing headed by da climbing club and the other obstacles by OAC. My team got stucked wif da climbing club for almost 1 hr lo... so wasted.. wanted to try much more..

Climbing club's rules abit lame... keep changing throughout. First was blindfold climbing. Juz cos dey can do it, doesnt all can do it... Fiona juz cant climb wif blindfold. But i doubt if i can oso.. it's hard to hold water while climbing too..

But I manage to touch da pail hung at da incline rock wall wif da more difficult part to climb. Later, all these were scraped and it's juz purely da speed climbing... My team in general climb pretty fast lor.. Almost all r gals even liang qi who joined in later. I felt so paiseh when i reached da top 1 sec later den da opposing team who's a gal... (:P ego ba..)

This part not tt bad, noe 3 gals and got to see how zhiren defends his gf and gain da 'wooo...' envious sounds cooed by his climbing frends.. hahaha... interesting.. tt gal happened to be fiona's best frend in primary sch... n she only realise it today.. dotz

Obstacles part juz left about 1/2 hr to try.. Moreover, gotta wait for pple to finish so tt can use deir harness lor. There's many components to tt tower n me n fiona only manage to try 1... da climb log one.. it's pretty difficult w/o teamwork lorz. It's pretty high and tiring. Hav to let fiona step on my thigh several times to allow her to get up after which she'll pull me up. It's interesting how i feel high up there - a mixture of fear n excitement... Got alot of blisters as presents oso.. ha.

Elin ps us lor, supposed to come but din.. fiona ps me later... din eat dinner wif me.. in the end, went back home wif vicky n chat all da way back on bus... rather bushed ba.. tink it'll b a nice slp tonite.. tink physics's test'll be a goner tmr.. no time study.. :P

An abnormal day with weird phenomenon. Mr loh screws up a simple probability ques and physics lecturer allows us to leave early. Computing 1st lesson listen to Gigahertz's talk wif juz erm... 6 pple? Partly their fault ba, din reply mr chua when he says tt today's yr 1's collection of results. Weather's pretty weird too, large ominous clouds over loom the sky and i tot it's gona b a super violent storm. In the end... juz a slight drizzle. End up doing pull ups n standing broad jump instead of a run.

Din realli see alot of yr 1s in school today, quite alot pon sch ba... Tis will probably continue for some time too ba... Can see sch putting alot of fake fun in TJ to make them stay.. Haha...

it seems like alot of pple getting attached by tis time le..

heard from dad alot abt political stuff of singapore, it sounds abit subjective but after some consideration, it's pretty true.. life's probably gonna be alot different n will be harder to survive in future..

excited bout tmr's adventure tower.. v long time haven get to play arnd wif those obstacles stuff.. wish me gd luck.. heez

finally coming to a weekend for rest le. Been so tired recently.

O lvl results coming out on monday. Hope my juniors can score better den their prelim. Duno if my robotics junior will zao to other school.. if it is.. quite sad lor... even though we've been together for a short period..

Managed to dig out geraldine's secrets, haha. Told by my friend one, dino alot still duno tt. She kept it rather well ba. Just read alex's blog... damn funny.. da balloon incident. Though synn tian v embarrased, she still holds on to his balloon lor.. how nice.. hahahz...

Yanyi's so so lame lor... Her jokes are rather 'special' tt i duno wad category to grp those.. ha.. but da gd thing abt her is she's v frendly n wun pang sei ppl, or my mrt ride will be so sian...

Mood: =D

it's so close, could have come back wif a 4th position at least. God must have played a joke man... 5 runs, none can complete... sian... felt so traumatised... if roboGP can't win, what say micromouse..

it's back to hectic work again... din even have the weekend to rest well lor, and now's it's back to monday where i'm screwing everything up again. Chem mock din even finish: got yield no evaluation. Physics spa: no uncertainty value for reliability of equation. Chem test tmr.. gonna be hard... sch sux man...

mx complaining abt LZ nt giving a damn abt him, how it hurts him alot... it's not like i duno how he feels but i juz dun wana say hw something similar happen to me... it hurts and maybe i shuld just ask him to give up ba... if looks is all that matters... what is love all about?

TJ's vday's memorable for me. At least it seems abit more fun for me tis yr den last yr's.

I bought wrapping paper, sweets, ribbon, flowers n choc tis yr. But i'm so sorry tt i cant get nice chocs for everyone. Dun mind da cheapskate sweets hor.. it looks nice on the whole ba... ha.. Many are quite surprised they receive vday gifts from me. I din make a lot, only about 18 or so... and i tink i left out may ee's, puay yee's, xueting's, vicky's etc... Also some guys wan it... But i cant make so many... so sorry lar... haha

Quite paisei when i wan give flowers to her. Well, i'm glad she likes it. :D But i juz shuldnt put so much hope on it... juz take it as a friendship day. But i got conned for a $8 flower when alex told me his close frend only sells it for $4 n recommend to me... muz b careful nxt time he recommends me stuff le...

This time go round giving gifts with esmond cos i was late in da morning... no chance to give out. Only in btw sessions of lectures where everyone moves abt in LT giving gifts. Quite paiseh when lizhen's frends tease her abt me... But i juz show a heck care face... She actually responds to my msg i wrote in da card promptly. Ha...

But one of the tings i'm very happy about is when she finally talks to me again after 1/2 a year. It's a nice smile i see on her face although we both abit paiseh after being cold for so long. Thanks to padma...

da day b4, went J8 to buy gifts wif alex n esmond. It's pretty far from hse, sleeping on my way there n happen to hear tt alex was in hougang.. diao~ I realise there's many cat high pple in bishan lor... stopped several times to wait for es n alex to catch up wif deir frends. Alex even had nickname like "baby"... Yucks...Lol. Tis baby has pretty corny lines like "rest well cos u've been running through my heart" and "i'm a bad shooter, cos i keep missing u", haha...

on sat, it's cool to hang out wif pee wee, desmond n serene again... I feel v comfortable back wif them. Constantine was wad we wan watch but timing abit sucky... tix selling v fast and we had to change from J8 to ang mo kio to watch. tis 2 destinations happen to be the places me, es, alex went to tt nxt day. Plot of constantine was chim at some parts and rather bullshit in its joke, though rather funny. Took some pictures but cant upload to them yet, haven buy cable... Pee wee bought me a present, n i still owe him one... feeling guilty... :P I tink i better buy them one quick...

Tis week busy wif robotics, cant meet up or go out... sian n fun in both ways in how i wana see it.

Mood: :>

it's not exactly a 'happy' bdae for me at all... Woke up in da morning, got scolded when i ask abt my ang bao money... i usually find it under my pillow every yr but tis yr's not. She said she'll celeb next time... What i'm realli upset abt was when she din even wish me a simple 'happy bdae' greeting... (she = mum)

Got several bdae greetings from my friends including: desmond (thx for ur shirt), weina, ruth, serene, ngian xin, weiquan, esmond, pee wee, huimin... Thank you all..

mood: -neutral-

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!
happy birthday, happy birthday,
happy birth...day to meee....

Lol, it's not now yet... tmr... probably another boring day...

Bought sony ericsson K508i and i'm quite satisfied wif it. gotta deduct $60 from my pocket lor so it's not a birthday present.

Gonna complain soon le... Timing all wrong, said they will come on fri, den it came today when i'm out wif my mum for a lil while. It's either we collect from eunos (so far) or demand for redeliver on tues ==> gotta wait again. That still have not explain the free gifts voucher... I realli wonder if my dad has thrown it away by mistake...

It's gonna be CNY soon le but I still have no mood for tt. But the school's carnival was nice... But i hope it can extend its coverage to a greater scale. Tis yr it's only da parade square only lor... End up spending abt $8 including da compulsory $5 tix hse comm force us to buy la.

Class outing was fuN!! Nvr had such fun times wif da class for so long... heez... everyone so high yesterday... esp fiona... crazy mood ba.. But poor estella's lost her voice, can't scream at us as usual. Tot it'll be a nice movie outing but turn out to be juz eating yoshinoya food at cathay cineleisure. B4 deciding on tt, dey wanted to visit more expensive food restaurants like swensen, marche, sake sushi and billy duno wad de... Lol.. Anyway had a long tok cok session at yoshinoya. Thx to alex, everyone's doing some lame guessing and I felt like the most stupid person there. Elin come up wif da MRT, alex - fuzzie wuzzie, etc.. Only at last I came out wif da chicken n duck one tt makes everyone squeeze their brain juice out... Most still duno da trick yet and i love seeing hansui's irritated expression. Haha... If only more pple got go...

Mood: sian

Feeling so damn pissed n sad. My face got scarred by phenol. It's a painful tinkling sensation initially. Afterwhich it left an unsightly brown scar on my face.... So dejected... duno when it'll be alrite... Not sure my chem tcher is JUST saying smth to make me feel alrite only.

Tink might be late for gaining a firm position in roboGP cup... Da stocks only came in today!! so late... n by the attitude da club's showing.... it's nt positive at all. I gotta do smth to reverse da situation. Mr goh has to help us too... With taekwondo and dance club using the area, we realli hav no more place for training le...

ran 3.6km in 18min 10s, slightly faster den jian yuan.. haha...1st time tis yr wor.. Joel improved qt a lot i tink... hopefully, i'll do fine for the cross country... hopefully our class runnin together..

I'm juz feelin v bad... i'm sorri if i make u all feel unhappy when u see my black face during this time...

Mood: -pissed-

Heard from someone tt she's alrite le. Hopefully the nxt time i see her, my hi wun be rejected by a turnarnd-nt-interested face.

Robotics session went pretty okie. The yr 1s loosen up abit, learnt quite abit of stuff today. Maybe it's abit crammed but at least interest is shown. They ran the racer many times... ha. Realli hope i can get a proper room for training... It's realli pathetically small the room size is lor...

Got pretty low for chem lecture test... Guess I'm one of those ms fong's refering to ba.. Need to retake physics skill C,D since it's nt within 14-16. Haiz... Wonder hw estella can score so well for tt.

I'm pretty excited to collect the freebies for singnet signup.. Wonder hw's da new speed like...

3.5km run still at 17.5min... No improvements at all... Even lose to someone I probably wun lose to de... So upset...

Mood: -tired-

Many things to do this year... a rather hectic start.

Received a msg from singtel saying tt I can get 2650 for free wif a new plan durin CNY. But I tot during CNY, BEST will be closed, no? Singnet can upgrade to 512 during the short promo period. But i nid to call to enquire... If it is... woohoo...

This year's goal is to pass NAPFA, dun wan to get xtra 3mths of treatment in NS. Gotta train alot more hard manz... But i juz duno how to train for standing broad jump.

Tidied up my room and filed in alot of worksheets i din file in last year. It's seems so much neater now.

Duno if Elecktra or Shall we dance will be a better movie for me to choose to watch... Let's see which one bcomes da more popular option ba.

If there's something to be done, it should be. I duno what the fuss abt it my mum's making... How nonsensical!

Added weiquan in my friends' list...

Mood: pissed

Lotsa things happen during these twelve days. Ironically, there's more free periods in year 2 and we are released earlier. Used some of these days for 10/04 lunch outing. It's pretty easy going kinda mood we're having. Not much honey-moon time left for us to enjoy.

GP teacher's mrs lim. She's got a way with things. Ability to stress people to do work in a eh... peculiar manner. In the end, classmates all betray each other out. Lol....

Quite sad that poh woon's leaving our class to 13/05. Not sure if it's realli good for him as there's another year to waste or improve grades is totally depend on him le... I realli hope he can make use of the chance to score very well.

Heard that yr 1s are grped to CG as well as SG. Sounds interesting but like pretty dumb too.. It's hard to build that much bonding with the class since some pple seldom see their classmates. My junior is ord having tt problem liao. Yr 1 got about 30 computing students, 5 times as many as the no of year 2s lor... But havent seen all of them yet. Got 1 in robotics, hope he can be my 'ji cheng ren'...

Meeting on wednesday wif yr 1 was abit screwed up. Din noe dey had tok on wed which lasted till 3.30. I told them meet at 3. Eventually, we do see some of the registrants. But tink I missed out at least 5 more. Quite awful for a start. Photog one went smooth with games and food. There's realli no such nid for robotics ma, can't compare...

Tis yr discipline's gonna b stricter, even PE standard too. To show to TA students n year 1s.. oso to train for NS. If fail... gotta go in earlier... tt's not wad i wan. Better train up n eat less... Waist getting thicker.

Hp plan expiring soon. Eyeing on new phones given to new plan or resumin existing plan. I tot K508i is pretty good but I can't get it even though I've got the money. Juz can't. So sad... tink have to get those lousier ones like Samsung X100A, Nokia 2600, Samsung C200C etc...

Everyone seems taller while I'm still who I am... Haiz...

Mood: -busy-

Tmr pdp exhibition. Target must at least recruit 10. Heard last year was 30. I've not done recruitment for robotics before, so i duno how it'll turn out.

Sch tis week realli sux. Lect dun arrange at appropriate time but follow the timetable schedule, so got many periods to idle around before attending one. Today physics lecturer came late as his schedule's different from ours. Wad a joke...

Web assignment on due soon. Still got project folio hasn't write yet. Intend to do that after the site is done... Duno whether the others has done better than me anot.

Many pple tis yr has changed some extent. Some pple hairstyle quite different le... For me, I juz hope i can grow taller. Haha... I still got no problems with pimples. It's under control... haha

Creative has come up wif a microzen touch game that allows u to play it and stand a chance to win that. Visit sg.creative.com for more details. My highest score so far is 109000+ i tink. But i tink it's still far away from the top winner they announced every week. It's worldwide oso...

By the way, if anyone here got nice stamps and not collecting, dun mind pass to me. I collect stamps. Thx :D

Happy new year! 2005 is here. Hope it'll be a nice year for everyone. Still got a month plus before I can collect some money... haha..

Still miss her... Hope she'll just fade away with time... wonder when will that be...

Com's reformated again, this time a clean copy of windows xp sp2. Juz take it as a prep for new year. Lost all the songs, :sad: Thanks davina for the new songs den... haha

mood: -fresh-