Busy Busy Busy

I know I really shouldn't blog in such a busy time like this but I just can't hide my feelings. She has been showing signs that she's ok with me, but I don't know if I'm reading too much into it or... I guess I need to test water a bit further.

Just ended JCRC rally today. It had been a very tiring process going through all the preparatory work doing the publicity banners, posters and flyers. Normally, I'm someone that procrastinates but even I'm shocked by myself that I manage to keep to the tight and tiring schedule. Visiting door to door to advertise yourself is really no easy feat. You need the determination and encouragement to go on. I'm glad I have many good friends I met that keep me going. Somehow, that's what I like about the hall culture.

Doing all these things set me thinking about my future, or at least for this year. Is running for hall JCRC really what I want? I manage to sort out a few plus points that will keep me going. Firstly, I really feel that serving your community is something rewarding especially if you can enjoy immersing in that culture. Secondly, it's the friends that are running the show with you. Personally, I feel that there wouldn't be much politics involved this time round. Even if so, I'll try my best to stay out of it. Thirdly, it'll expose me to handling things at a higher level which is something I can experience.

I want to thank all the friends who have been there to support me especially through attending the rally. I know that everyone has their own work to catch up and even being there for a short while means a lot to me already. I want to accept new things coming into my life, yet I still want to grasp the existing friendship I have tightly... However, some things still seem to drift apart but I don't know how to salvage. Or am I just running away from it?

Communication

Why must we always talk about issues like this in channels like that... Somehow, something has gone awfully wrong somewhere where I'm clueless about. Friends come in and out of my life, this phase is a busy one for many people, including me. Perhaps I haven't been devoting enough time to maintain friendship. I tried somehow, just worried that the other person doesn't like it. Allow some time for me to reflect on how I can re-arrange my time to make the best out of everything.

Things aren't going that easy. I still have many more choices to make...

Evaluations

Hall 9 Dinner and Dance 2008 is finally over. Time spent on practice can now be allocated for other priorities. Somehow, I wonder if it's worthy to spend so much time on that for a moment of glory. The time for the actual event seems so minute compared to the time spent on practising. Yet, there's a regret deep down when I screwed up my dance. I thought all was over and consolation prize was waiting for me. It didn't turn out as bad as I thought and got a 2nd runner up position. I guess it's the catwalk that saved me somehow. Anyway, congratulations to Nigel and Jaclyn for clinching Hall King and Hall Queen positions. Well Done. I guess there's plenty of experience I can absorb for an event like this. Looking forward to coordinate this event for the freshmen next year.

It's a pity I couldn't send Meiling off. Wished her all the best in the University of Illinois.

Some people can just change so fast in such a short time. I really couldn't bring myself to believe it. Thought he was busy and didn't want to talk when we met up in school. Even for casual friends I would have stopped and chat for at least a couple of lines before going off. But twice he said that he needed to rush off. Today, another mutual friend was talking about him also. He came all the way from NUS to see him yet, he seemed to be bothered by mutual friend's presence and even left him alone there without bidding goodbye. I thought that was quite atrocious. I treat him not as a casual friend but don't know if such sentiments reciprocate.

Wasn't shortlist for the next round of interview. I felt quite upset about it. I couldn't think why though. Is my profile in IT not sufficient to compare with? Or the other contestants have much more to offer? Myriad of events had happened in a pace much faster than I can grasp and comprehend. I apologise for the bitching throughout this post. I just had to write it out somehow.

Now inter-hall games are about to start. I looked at the list of games and asked myself what I can offer to the hall in terms of sports contribution. I couldn't help but felt very disturbed internally. Due to the meniscus injury, my life has been heavily affected by it. I could no longer play any aggressive sports if not, my knee will just lock up again. It had come back to haunt me just a few weeks ago during an orientation camp. Such activities aren't even tough and yet, the unbearable pain sets in to disrupt whatever I want to do. I hadn't gone for any operations for I couldn't muster courage to go for it. I don't know what's the outcome and anything that could be extended by 6 months for recovery. It's just not the time... but am I just condemned to such a state. I don't want to accept this, it's not fair.

Life Progress Report

Staying in hall is really fun. Didn't regret it at all. However, sleeping late is a tradeoff for the fun I had during the day time though. With only 17 AUs, it's very slack for engineering, but I really can't get any other electives and the appeal date is over. Sigh.

Practising dance for DND is tough. I hadn't do all this before. It's very new to me. Yet, there are expectations to keep up to. Somehow, Mich's lacking the drive to finish it off properly I think. Or am I too sensitive?

Bought a new pair of Pedro shoes that costs S$99. Okay, the price is more reasonable than Aldo but that's still a big amount for a student like me. Gee, I got to save up now.

Celebrated Xin En's birthday on Monday. Even though she's smart enough to detect that we're celebrating for her, I think for the effort, she should still act as if she's surprised about it. Haha. Oh well, I'm not in the picture because I left earlier.

Now, I'm seeing my parents once or twice a week. Felt that the gap between us is widening. She's always complaining that we don't communicate. Yet, when I do so, she always makes the conversation a nasty one... =<

I can't help feeling kind of pissed about someone. In university, if you want to know more people, you have to somehow break out of your comfort zone to know more people. I think if I bother to help, he/she should be more willing to try harder. On a second thought, his/her reasons always seem justified for the things that he/she missed out. What can I say...

Her birthday is coming, I don't know if I can be in time to finish making presents for her... I think she's totally clueless about my feelings though.

Life Goes On...

Happy birthday Singapore! Watched the front segments of NDP Live Telecast. I was wondering if I had become older and hence, expectations of watching NDP has become higher, or it has really not become any better than previous years.

The marching portion wasn't that good I thought. 'Hentak Kaki' wasn't in sync and even the fancy drills wasn't up to par as previous years. There was a guy who really swung the weapon 1/2 beat out of steps with the rest for a segment. Another was looking to the other person for cue on its next move. Had they train more than half a year for this? Singing the national day song in Jazz seems new but not many people could sing along with it. Some sang with it only to met with a sudden deliberate pause in its original rhythm. Ha. It hadn't been raining for years on National Day, I thought. The members of parliament weren't wearing the raincoat for some reasons. I think even if the rain drops are fine, it's kind of cruel not to allow wearing of raincoat since the weather should still be cold. Or perhaps, it's the red and white colour combinations it's supposed to be achieved? Perhaps. Ha.

Just had the basic photo shoot of the pageants photo. Personally I feel that the stylists are good. Just that the photographs taken could be improved. There are insufficient lightings for the night shots. Here are some of the photos I have from my friend's camera.

The girls somehow weren't too happy about their hairdo. They wanted it to be more puffy I think. If not, they would rather stick to their curry puff hairstyle. Is that what they call it?

Wei wen always has this serious expression. I think with that look, he makes a good physical training instructor. He said that it's in the past. He wants resume his life as a student now... I think he is quite a nice guy although he looks like someone I hate quite a lot. Ha.

The D&D training is both very fun and stressful. There's certain levels of expectations to keep up to. Behind all the fun-loving stuff, there's always something serious to take away with. Since I'm here, I might as well take some experience away. The photo on the right is me, Gary and Michelle in Masquerade Shop trying out all the wacky and funky costumes.

On the left, that's Michelle and me trying out Victorian and Greek costumes. For more photos, it's found on my facebook. Friends and family, please come down and support me @ DXO on Saturday 16th August. Thanks.

I don't have time to do everything, but I have time for those who matters.

Hall 9 Legacy & CAC Outing

Hall 9 camp is over. Again filled with the same kind of nostalgia for the people I bonded with for the past few days. They are also my neighbours whom I'll always get to see them around at least for this year.

Had suppers, heart-to-heart talks together with them. I felt myself opening up again. It felt good.

As I'm quite a serious person, thoughts of having to perform on the D&D night easily troubles me. My partner is an inter-JC pageant so probably she has much more experience for such event. There are many things next week I can't confirm because of the D&D preparation. Hope that everything will go on fine.

We agreed on singing and dancing for the performance. Singing will be done predominantly by me and vice versa. The harder part is its integration. Photoshoot was tiring but I think catwalk training will be worse. Haha. I hope the rest of the hall niners can support me too. Haha.

Met up with friends from Valus earlier on for Ice Skating on Sunday. It was fun, I could skate much better than before. I no longer need the metal assist bar and had learnt to brake with a 180 degrees turn. Cool right. Haha.

There were many who couldn't make it for the outing. Otherwise, it would have been more fun. We tried to learn the basics from Aloysius. He's pretty skilled in that. After that, we had games like chasing groups of people. Alvin and Peng Fei picked up speed rather fast. For me, it's still slow. Don't know if it's my extra toe that's jamming my blood flow to the leg... It feels really numb after a while and I could not stand perpendicularly straight to the blades. My friends are all amazed by the extra toe but it seems to be giving more problems actually.

Somehow, I'm still trying to adapt myself to the new environment. There's many things I haven't get used to. Self-discipline is one thing that is very difficult to be instilled within me. All the continual assessment through GPA seems creepy to me. I have heard so many times that the GPA isn't everything there is to university life but somehow at this phase, it matters to me. Will I change my perception by the time I reach year 3? The seniors have been very helpful and I'm also trying my best to expand my social network. The funny thing is many people have asked me why I joined Computer Engineering. Said that I'm one of a kind to be found in that course. Lol, don't really get it though.