Met her at da interchange n realli din expect so many ppl pops up wif her... Shocked*, lol... n somemore cY is asked to trail all da way up lar... makes me so paiseh... zz

Yea, finally understood abit of discrete random variable thx to hansui n geraldine.. was kinda figuring it out during econs period.. n Yea GP watch video..better den go for lesson. n Yea, my front crawl style improve le... at least i get da gist of breathing wif it.. was kinda shocked when da tcher says i'm fine wif it n ask me to scram to da advance beginner.. i realli wana perfect tt first mah... anyway, my hair feels realli dry... scared it'll flake off like tt...

find myself havin fats arnd my waist... hw much more do i hav to exercise b4 it's gone? it's realli hard to get rid of it...haiz..

wad ms fong said earlier on abt hating ourselves though sound funny, but i tink it's realli v true if i wana improve.. so let me hate GP more.. lol, no lar... i'm juz gona work harder.. but i dun tink buying newsweek, national geographic now will help... perhaps abit..but nt worthwhile considering da time left to A lvl...

i nid time for my coursework next week le... will try refrain from bloggin for a while... nid concentration...

Mood: -crazy-

do i realli seem flirtatious? Honestly, according to how i tink, i dun tink so.. or i'm not realli trying to flirt ba, or perhaps it's defined differently according to different ppl.. aiya, duno la

ha, so surprised bingz still rmb me, tot he's busy campaigning sum stuff, haha... thx for dropping by. n next time u ask me out, pls dun in d middle of nite to nowhere, thx :P

prayed for Qing Ming fest, realise alot of relatives din turn up... is it due to an attachment to da person for da reason to pray or believe tt it's an annual traditional stuff tt muz b followed? i tink perhaps more of da previous case n tt's y sum choose nt to pray. Sad case maybe... nt for da fact of nt respectin da deceased but hw fragile human relationships can sour in such fast time.. besides when a person dies, u dun even noe if there's a realm for him/her beyond, haha... i suppose when it comes to da time to handle my parents (choy, juz if la) i'll do it cos i luv them ba.

was kinda tinkin abt my past during da wkends... i've realli changed over da yrs. perhaps sum of u all think otherwise cos of my face or height or wadever... but da inner self has changed... more crappy, more open, more image conscious, more aware of ppl's character, more easily pissed off, less intelligent etc...

after wad i tok to my bro abt relationship stuff, i realise affairs of d heart is realli sumthin quite puzzling, u can't realli always choose who u like, or it's probably nt sumthin from ur inner self.. ur heart may choose sum1 who wun like u or worse sum1 u canot like..

thx hansui for scannin da tuts for me n da new testi... zzz, losing file over wkend damn jialat...

lol, saw da pic chingz showed me... bet cy muz b damn upset ba... ha, i shant be nosey abt tt..

super bored... argh, nth to do... cant play PS, feels like screaming my inner frustrations out.... zzz

Eye 10
Ha, ok..tis's better den boogeyman... ghosts r ugly, yar, dey r... n i can understand da plot at least. But sumtimes i find myself being scared by sound fx rather den da show..nt sure lar.. a combination of both? I still can't 4get da funny parts of da movie when i'm actually expecting sumthing frightening... k, those parts r kinda lame~ Alex, esmond, mao xin, joe dun wana go after when the venue is changed to TM... sian, left 5 including me...

jy's so damn crappy lor, when he's in da bus wif me n geraldine, it's so noisy.. ha too bad he still din manage to peek at geraldine's phone... wonder if hansui's ok alone... seems abit gong gong after da movie..

MISC
v surprised when estella wrote me a testi.. wonder wad makes her do so.. maybe cuz she's bored? anyway, will appreciate any testi any of my frend writes for me.. thx to all who wrote. Friendster has tis new feature tt allows us to upload more photos. I realise those in d photos quite old le, n all new ones r in my phone.. desperately nid smth to transfer those to my com... anything as long as it's nt mms...

Stupid me, duno whether to luff at myself or wad... leavin my file behind in sch...damn, hw could i hav not noticed da weight difference of my bag since da file is so damn big... -__-"

JAE postings
Heard some commotions abt ppl who wanted so much to get in din... alota appeals. But some v indecisive, put other jc as their choice n eventually regretted n wan to return to TJ. der's so many appeal cases lor, now nt even including 2nd intake appeals...

Sports Carnival
Gotta plan games or food for tt lar.. it's compulsory... robotics always inert to sch events one lor.. nw doing smth like tt n proposal in 2 days time... shuld give longer period grace of submission lorz...

Service Learning
da kids r kinda cute lar... in small bunch yes... nt as in a whole class... erwin din pass me camera or wadsoever so din take pics... only got 4 ppl, but spend $4+ to give dem chocs... v lil somemore. Din noe got tcher monitor one... tot it's 'zi you fa hui' one...

Duno wad to do for robotics tmr... training or farewell party for some of them.. duno lei... i find tt it's always me who's tinkin of wad to do... wad abt lp? Yest did computing until 2 yest. It's so freaking tiring for me ord who's slpin like 1+ prev days oso... But still din manage to complete all da tasks requirements... mr chua din realli say much abt mine but can tell tt he's nt happy abt it... even da hardworking wei quan oso got criticised quite abit...

Finally managed to squeeze 1 free cookie from jy after so long.. n it's after when i agree to help him carry stuff from tcher's car to da library lar.. dat eclub gal muz b tinkin y tis non-eclub person always doing tings abt e-club... nt realli dg oso lar.. last time help jy buy cookies n pass msg...lol, dumb man...

i tink i've kinda mastered secrets keeping technique to 60%? lol... manage to keep v impt secrets confidential.. it's v crucial lor...dun wana offend ppl anymore le(indirectly)... wad's said's been said... no matter how time passed, it can nvr be erased from memory completely...

Mood: -lonely soul-

Realised tt no matter how strong a person may appear to be, when he or she's sick, the person is at its weakest moment, n always in need of someone's care...

Thanks mei, for trying so hard to stay in contact. I tink i'm kinda neglecting u abit. Now tt u've got someone to take care of u, i wun feel so bad. I owe u one... Maybe during long hols go out wif ya ba :P

Watched 'Son of the Mask' today... Duno y, the mask juz din feel as crazy as Stanley's mask... Perhaps Jim Carrey has more wonderful facial expressions ba. And perhaps i tink i'm abit too old for tt sort of siao siao film. The baby's cute nevertheless... Reminds me of tt the other show 'series of unfortunate events'... Maybe baby power is getting in trend.

Din realli managed to revise during hols... wasted. Juz feel tired actually... lack of self-discipline.. I'm someone who nids ppl to spur me on... haiz

found out dat da way of blocking entry's actually using diaryX to blog... nvm den juz use a different colour to write like how esmond's writing den...

chem's so super sian... sitting in LT for more den 3 hrs.. wif only 10 min break. Many of us cos of tt give business to sch bkshop liao..ha. tmr got physics, shit cant finish analog electronics...zz...

stop here ba...

found out tt actually she's nt so mad abt tt... ha.. forget it man...

she's juz too sensitive. I tink i said it tt day as a mild joke, not something serious, not even considered a proper comment abt her... Yet, she's feelin kinda hurt n dun accept my apologies. it upsets me when she juz dun accept.. cos i noe hw u feel if i were in ur shoes but wad happened ord in da past, hope u 4get tt.. i feel v comfortable wif u arnd k, it's not abt toleration at all, pls do understand... i juz wana be where we were... u shuldnt reflect anymore, it's my fault to start with....

Mood: -hurt-

din realli feel like bloggin, no mood...

supposed to meet in sch for discussion of gigahertz comp but in the end nth much was settled except BH intro me 1 site rather useful to practise questions.. For cult doc, i was kinda sian abt tt too, gotta wait till 2 b4 it starts. Felt rather lonely eating today... saw alot of my guitar frends but prefer nt to sit wif them... duno y, perhaps da fear tt sumone in there may tink i'm v xtra... not in guitar still wana sit wif them... kinda sad realli, cos nt all of them r like tt..

During da meeting, felt rather awkward, jy's sitting in btw sumone whom i dun realli wana tok to or see... no choice.. perhaps tt's wad makes me so awfully quiet throughout. I tink lan anh, may n shane will have realised it ba... Shane purposely asks me a ques of wad's service learnin all abt suddenly. Maybe he tot i was dreamin, tryin to pull me back into da conversation ba...

my mum's kinda sick, nids to go for op. I'm realli worried tis time but din realli show our worries... tt's juz gona make her feel more upset...

when can da 250mb comes for hotmail singapore... tink it's a rather biased n dumb idea to juz allow US, UK residents to hav tt advantage... if nt for da fact tt i've used it pretty long le, i will hav make da switch to other email providers ba... there's plenty if u wana search for... even using gmail will b good.

Ha, eil's always sayin miss me but nvr realli got to hang out wif her... busy gal ba...
Chingz, dun worry. I'm nt avoiding u, so dun feel upset abt anything k?

Temasek Idol seems better than last year. But da SC started everything so late tt it sorta push back da schedule late. Grp performances weren't as satisfactory as solo performances. For band performances, main problem is either cos can't sing high pitch well or voice overridden by da loud drum and e-guitar sounds ba... Or it'll be pretty perfect ba...

Got 1 boy band called 5 sf called criticised v severely tt i can still rmb wad da judges say.. "Congratulations, u've juz wasted 10 mins of my life!!", "Tt was entertaining but it's not a compliment.","do u noe tis's da finals? Din u even practise b4 u come here? Other grps given a chance would hav done better","amateurish",etc...

Another grp called lil chickens r realli very -__-". Maybe sum gals may find them cute but it's realli quite lao tu.. They act cute in a v er xin manner, realli admire deir courage for standing up to perform tt sorta way to da audience. Cat high ones... haha

Solo ones r generally ok, had a hard time choosing fairly. Melissa had a very nice voice wif nice piano music, song xia v confident n sings pretty well.. so is owen n gladwin, and izatti dey all had their own flair. But maybe had shown their weakness in some areas. It's abit unfair to let Charles win da 2nd time ba... Well... no choice, da ppl juz luv him~ zai voice, can produce melodic music n hard beat techno music...

i was v disappointed wif da gals' response. Dey're so .... duno wad to term it...sexist? Fiona and Hansui's response (but i bet it's not juz them) refuse to let da guys join da outing. Later, dey added: After much discussion, we agree to let u all join provided u all satisfy one condition which is to keep ur mouth shut n let us decide where to go.. I see ord instantly feel damn buay song lar... like wad's wrong wif dem... cant da guys even hav ideas to suggest or wad? Eventually decided tt me n esmond juz go home. Da same problem goes wif today's NUS trip. It's da same same situation again... Gg on deir own.. Fine, wadever..

Gg arnd in NUS after NOI wif joel. Got 6 qns tt we hadda solve, i tink i only manage solve 1 which is realli a sad case lar.. got ppl solvin 4-6 lor... Haiz.. maybe din put enugh effort ba.. Nvrtheless got many freebies ba. Bag+Shirt+Writing pad+pen+magazine... Other freebies got from openhouse de... Felt so xtra in my green TJ uniform so decided to change to casual clothes lor... Met huimin, cleyra, roy, sabrina, shu xia, leong ho, class gals n many other Tjcians lor... Gotta noe later tt mx, alex's gg..separately...

Felt -zzz- when estella dropped her ice cream on my shirt.. can't wipe away, walkin arnd wif my shirt like tt... feels stupid as if i dun even noe hw to eat properly...

Finally gave away de presents to desmond le, he seems pretty pleased wif my gift. So happy tt likes it.. Maybe tt's in contrast wif his frends' treat to food court? haha :P

PE's kinda crazy man.. Did 3 laps of gg up n down all 3 galleries in 3 rounds within sum timing and did 30 normal push ups, 10 left leg push up, 10 right leg push up, 10 spider push ups. After tt, do leg raise... abt 10 ba... (tis da part tt seems eternal..) for 10 counts each. Den later do backhand pushups for abt 5 or so for 10 counts... it's pretty hard as it's straining for my back... juz when i tot it's over, another 20 or 30 pushups... -__-"

today rare chance sia, class get to eat not in da usual order of guys eat together, gals eat together. Today's formation is basically econs pple n non econs pple ba... haha.

hols assignment is horrible esp for chem... so much to do lorz.. oso gotta come back for xtra lesson. dun tink there'll be any hol mood. It's an indication for da yr 2s to be prepared for a full series of muggin when sch reopens...

repair cost shooting up, gettin worried.. looks like it's nt getting anywhere, repair is being done more often den training in proper... whose fault is tt...

go back home wif yyy and mx. yyy keeps on tellin her frends i'm an IP student. Her frends look like 1/2 blive 1/2 not like tt.. i oso duno wad to say... there's juz smth tt canot be changed abt me ba. I can grow fatter, muscular, or thinner but not taller. sadz...

i always tink this story's useful to dealing wif life. Let da hurt n sorrow be written on da sand while let all da good deeds ppl do for us be engraved on a stone, so tt eventually as time passes, only da good deeds will be remembered and not da unhappy things tt happened. It makes life easier. I learn tt being petty is no use, learn to accept things as they are n smile is better, even though u may nt be realli happy behind those smiles.

today's juz a realli realli tiring day. feeling pretty feverish also.. nt out of luv or anything, haha..

I tink i realli slack too much le lor.. I dun wan to be so lag behind in physics. I wana find back da moltivation I've lost. After listening to principal's toks, i tink I'll try working harder~ i dun wan to be told to drop any..

got suan again on d way to AI. Happen to see chingz n juz a hi can keep my ear bombarded for 30 min? mx n jy were saying wad vicki, wad sc gal n duno wad bullshit larz.. i'm quite touched tt dey actually accompany me to AI even though i din ask them to anyway.

enjoying the earli dismissal for today to watch a movie... which i've kinda forgotten the name.. Da story's juz like a dream, another fantasy.. But this one has a lil idea behind it: children's words r impt, but adults tend to overlook it + there's plenty of nasty pple out in da world but there's oso a minority of realli good ones, it's up to us to put in effort to find our lil heaven... kinda cute ideas anyway...

Met biao jie at TM oso... n my frends like weina, like continue to oo... who's her... Tot it's actually pretty obvious btw our age? do i look too old or she looks too young? haha..

kinda broke for today. bought a 29.90 shirt for des, excluding caveat's pres and topping up of ezlink card... tink da transfer cable will have to wait den... sian. But it's quite surprising tt da gals actually went shopping along with me oso though they nag here n there complaining i'm slow. (tink they're slower actually)

Quite surprised tt thru 1 short session of activity can get to noe another frend liao.. happen to be in da same jc in da 1st 3 mths oso.. lol... but din realise tt earlier, haha.. fate..

Almost dig out esmond's lil secret but nt yet.. dun wana tell.. haha...he said until so sure as if smth will definitely happen in June. Est gave him an advice tt some things muz confirm canot juz go according to 'feel'. It's nt always accurate but nvrtheless hope it'll be smth good den!

Looks like lotsa guys r getting attached by this time le.. always felt inferior in a way when dey're n i'm not... failure..haiz...

A lvl results released. It seems like this year there're many who score very well.. Da best is from RJ. My mum's naggin abt da similarity of da scholar's background wif ours yet dere's a world of difference of me and him. Some ppl are juz born smart and more dilligent ba.. Can't be help :P Maybe i can get inspired by them. I wan to get 4As oso, haha.. but i hope my GP wun be too bad la... it's my greatest concern of all...

TJ perform pretty good too. Heard it's another best compared with these 5 yrs. Too bad da ranking among jcs have been done away. Otherwise, it'll be exciting to look out for which college's higher n which's lower.. But you quan din score all A's. I tot he would.. Jaron got 1 C. Spoils da other As. Not sure for sabrina though. 10/04's chinese avg la. Quite a few got A1 though. Anyway, tink they're all dropping L2 le lor. Hope cos of tt, can get a change in timetable! I wan early dismissal!

Juz realise NOI is on 12th too.. Maybe i'll meet u ppl after da competition.

Want list: usb transfer cable for my hp/infra red receiver oso can.. haha

i'm juz suck at consoling pple. I tink she din actually feel better. I duno wad to do actually...

anyway, today in sch, mrs leong pickin on cr again. I tink she's nt da only one smsing lor, but yet get caught and being reprimanded directly. I guess any being will feel v awkward under tt situation ba... mrs leong din tink tt way, juz tot tt she's rude..

During da time in canteen, she's still buggin us, askin abt where's cr. Interrogating pa why she left, etc... duno how she asks until pa wana cry ord lor... dampen all our moods lor.

i tink i'm gg to buy presents in bulk. Lots of my frends bdae r round da corner + those overdue ones... (:P guilty), haha..

i may be considering buyin dumbells to train..not tt heavy sort one la.. heard it's pretty effective cos it's v convenient.

i'm gg for NUS openhse on 12 Mar, interested ppl, can contact me if u wana join me oso..

today another fun day for me.. heez, maths no xtra lesson.. almost 1st time tis yr i tink. ms fong oso din particularly pick on me to ans ques...

waited so damn long for da adventure tower prog to start. i tot i may well use da time to study physics but apparently not so. mx n jy was wif me n yup, chit chatting for so long.. after mx's gone, came fiona n continue da chit chatting till da thing start. Din noe i'm so gd at chatting oso... Fiona even more zai, can tok on phone for abt an hour n chat wif us all at da same time... And i realise 1 thing bout mixed sch is tt, when u sit wif a gal n chat too long, ppl'll tink u're both a couple... haha, not true sometimes..

there r 2 parts to da program, one part - climbing headed by da climbing club and the other obstacles by OAC. My team got stucked wif da climbing club for almost 1 hr lo... so wasted.. wanted to try much more..

Climbing club's rules abit lame... keep changing throughout. First was blindfold climbing. Juz cos dey can do it, doesnt all can do it... Fiona juz cant climb wif blindfold. But i doubt if i can oso.. it's hard to hold water while climbing too..

But I manage to touch da pail hung at da incline rock wall wif da more difficult part to climb. Later, all these were scraped and it's juz purely da speed climbing... My team in general climb pretty fast lor.. Almost all r gals even liang qi who joined in later. I felt so paiseh when i reached da top 1 sec later den da opposing team who's a gal... (:P ego ba..)

This part not tt bad, noe 3 gals and got to see how zhiren defends his gf and gain da 'wooo...' envious sounds cooed by his climbing frends.. hahaha... interesting.. tt gal happened to be fiona's best frend in primary sch... n she only realise it today.. dotz

Obstacles part juz left about 1/2 hr to try.. Moreover, gotta wait for pple to finish so tt can use deir harness lor. There's many components to tt tower n me n fiona only manage to try 1... da climb log one.. it's pretty difficult w/o teamwork lorz. It's pretty high and tiring. Hav to let fiona step on my thigh several times to allow her to get up after which she'll pull me up. It's interesting how i feel high up there - a mixture of fear n excitement... Got alot of blisters as presents oso.. ha.

Elin ps us lor, supposed to come but din.. fiona ps me later... din eat dinner wif me.. in the end, went back home wif vicky n chat all da way back on bus... rather bushed ba.. tink it'll b a nice slp tonite.. tink physics's test'll be a goner tmr.. no time study.. :P