Expectations

Thanks weiyen for the Christmas card. It's lovely. It came as a surprise to me too. =) It was a fun night out sourcing for Christmas presents. Takashimaya is really a one-stop place for that. Don't expect the crowd to be any lesser than what you can imagine.

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I just keep getting affected by the same things. It sucks. I don't want to keep things by myself but what else can I do. If nothing is being discussed, nothing can be solved and problems remain if not worse. Perhaps in the first place, there's not even a strong common understanding to start with. I'm tired of it.

If I have a Christmas wish, can I wish for everyone to be happy?

I'm Loving It...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It feels fresh writing on a new blog template especially one with fresh colours.

Life's been pretty good for me in general. Bao has been really sweet and subtly has become the support of my mental strength.

I did my first cooking other than those in home economics and manage to come up with decent-looking with the help of seniors, Henry and Sont for her. =) At least she's appreciative of my effort.

Night cycling was indeed interesting. My groin aches like hell throughout the journey. The bike was not much better than the bike I had when I was young. The singlet's really cute, fitting and cooling. Initially, Virgil was the only group that was so obedient to adhere to the safety rule of wearing helmets. Throughout the journey, it was so tough riding only on the walking pavements. You would really need to be there to witness the craziness and the enhanced difficulty for that. I guess everyone would be better off riding on road. Seriously.

Our group IC was not all that bad except that there were some places that we literally were not following the route at all. Ha. Maybe for our group we can change the distance at the back to 42.195km instead. LOL. Our group was also one that's not the competitive but the fun-loving one. From the first group to set off, we ended up like 3rd or so. Along the way, we took numerous photos as though we were foreigners touring Singapore. Many of the wacky ones were suggested by Edwin mainly. This one on the left looks as though he's enlightened. LOL.

Henry's birthday is another happening event this December. Witnessed 7 wonders and Superman returns together. Ha... Luckily mine happened before I came to hall. I can't imagine being 'sabo-ed' in my own house in front of so many guests. Goodness! Melissa was very spontaneous for the forfeit though. Surprise!

I don't know why I still feel so down... What's wrong... Does having too many friends necessary equate to no good friends? Maybe someone ought to hit me on the head hard and tell me what the truth is.

What Should What Shouldn't?

There's been more arguments with mum regarding overseas trip. Am I so selfish to just go for a little trip to enjoy? She sees it as being extravagant in spending. I'm being told that if I have time for all that, why don't I seek jobs to entertain myself. I'm not hoping to go anywhere, just KELONG... -_-"

Finally the day that I wanted has come true. My next phase of worries would be to maintain it. I am serious about it more than anything. Sometimes I just don't know why the awkward tension within me arises, is it because I'm too overly used to living my own life or I just don't know what to do? I hope she can give me more time. I have faith that it will all work out.

Post-exams Updates

Has been slacking around for a few days already. I guess it's really bad especially for electronics paper. Sigh...

Saw a video on the history of England. The show started with the post late medieval period from Queen Elizabeth I to William and Mary in the Stuart's era. The fight for freedom hasn't been all that easy for that tiny nation to fledge their flag high and proud among the other massive and strong European nations. It's no wonder why they had that air of supremacy in their earlier days.

Personally, I think only Queen Elizabeth I is worth mentioning. She handles foreign affairs with tact and discreet. She encouraged the rise of navy power in the country discreetly and eventually strong enough to defeat the mighty Spain at that time. Not just Spain but the Dutch and other strong sea-powers too. Able to strategise a series of economic and military solutions for a small country isn't all that easy. Even though under the ruling of monarchy, she didn't abuse her given power to yield anything she wants. She cleverly balance the unspoken agreement of power with the nobles, the tax to collect from people and other things else. By the end of her reign which ended with her death, England had seen major economic expansion. Other rulers that follow within that Era merely stained the history with more examples of tyrant kings. Charles I and James are two examples. Even Oliver Cromwell who succeeded in overthrowing Charles I is no better in example.

Met up with my ex-colleagues at Terasa's wedding.  It's been quite some time since I've last seen them. Firstly, I really can't recognise one of my colleagues Nicole at all. With all that makeup, she seems like a totally different person. Wow, wonders of powder! Terasa looked extremely gorgeous too. I guess her effort of skin care in preparation of the wedding had been paid off! Ha. She seems too busy to entertain the group of us though. We did manage to take photos with her neve rtheless. Diana wanted to take photo with John and me. Just thought of a funny combination though. One loud one soft. Hehe. At first, I was hesitating if I should wear a shirt for formal occasion like a wedding. But oh well, looks like nobody pointed me out. Guess punctuality counts more. Ha.

Birthday bashes are coming! More in the late November to December time. I think birthday celebrations in hall is okay. If you think it is bad, look at stomp's video post at http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=41849 I bet you will be shocked.

If only $$ really drops from the sky. There are many things I think about now. It's not a problem now but it will be one in the very near future. By then, will everything fall out of plan then? Maybe I need to prepare myself mentally.

The world is in another recession now. By the time I graduate, will it be a depression? Will the things I study now gives me any guarantee to my future? I don't know. Somehow it feels like it doesn't.

Stress

Came across a blog and saw this entry which I thought is very nice.

promises are like growing trees. they grow up strong and quickly in the spring. they make everything more beautiful. and soon, the leaves will rassle in the summer breeze. singing the angel's melody and surprising you occasionally.

but a walk in the park never stays the same, trees start to shed and leaves rain across your dimmed path.and the next snap you hear is the cracking of thin ice under you in winter time. the trees have finally died.

these are your promises.

It's going to be nearly 2 weeks already and yet my chipped teeth are still in pain. Had an X-ray and showed that the roots were knocked out of place. Further review is pending in a month's time. I hope no root canal surgery has to be done, otherwise I have to fork out $400+ per tooth excluding straightening. Where am I going to get the money!!?

Cheerleading has stopped for now.. Suddenly night feels so relatively free. But it's not. I've only got 14 more days to my exams! Everyone seems to be too busy studying, hall becomes very quiet lately.

But thank you for making my life a bit better. =D I appreciate every little things you did, really.

I'm still holding on, so hope my friends who are losing hope to still clinch on to any ray of hope you may see. Let's all work hard! =D

What's over is over...

Okie, the title seems quite emotional. But not really. I'm really going to put that someone behind me. I'm really glad you finally set your mind down on him. I believe he's going to give you happiness, so don't doubt him in anyway. Maybe there were other reasons why I can't put you down but now I know I can... I believe we'll still be good friends. =)

Had lots of fun these few weeks as well as stress too. I shall not elaborate more on stress since talking about it becomes irrelevant now. Oktoberfest is an interesting event. My CAC friends and I went to attend it and there were much fun and laughter. It's not cheap, mind you. It's about $45 for food appreciation club members. Somehow, this year, the deal isn't as good as the previous years' which made me feel kind of disappointed but nevertheless, I made a few more acquaintances as the entire table is for NTU students!

We ate sausages basically, and other types of meat. Well, like buffet, there are plentiful amount of food you can take. But I'm not used to eating so much meat in a meal that I got myself full after dining in for a while. The beer isn't issued in a free-flow style like what was expected. Only a shot of red bull can be exchanged from the coupon. 2nd disappointment. No choice, I bought another mug of beer to share with Baohui then.

The ones whose faces got real red after drinking would be Yongfu, Wan Ting and Clarence. Most others seem fine...

We went to sing at Cathay Cineleisure afterwards. I believe that's the 2nd official Valus group outing. Quite saddening that we rarely get to meet up for gathering. However, the long period seems to gel us even closer as we will always have much to update about each other's lives. It seems like everyone in the group loves gossips. Lol.

I looked through the photos I had yesterday and I realised it's been ages since I had printed out any. It has come to a digital age when appreciation of photos no longer require any physical medium like a photo paper or photo album. Ha. I don't know why the nostalgia hits me suddenly, but I thought that it'll still be nice to print out some and when I'm old, it's nice to flip through a "real" album on a rocking chair. Ha.

Talked to some friends on MSN these past few weeks. I found that I'm losing contact with quite a few of them. Hadn't really find time to talk to them or meet out. There are so much time constraints being a student also and I wonder if such scenario would be non-existent when it comes to the working phase? At least, there's no compulsory follow-ups after work. Ha.

On Sunday, Baohui and I went to help Clarence out to choose a present for someone that "it's complicated" with him, at least according to him. Ha. Actually, I hadn't have the intention to ask him to treat but he did it anyway. So, hurray! I got a free treat of Mud Pie, Mango blend from The Coffee Club. I thought mud pie shared among 3 people is too little a portion but turned out to be just fine. It's simply delicious but if it's eaten by one person only, I think it's a bit sweetness overdose! Ha.

I wished every day was like last weekend. =)

More Random Happenings...

I think Mindscafe is one of the place I won't feel sick going to, at least not yet. Went with my hall OG friends to play. As usual, Jiahui is on the news again.

Halfway through, she just hugs the game and crept underneath the table. Weird or what. Ha. My reaction time is seriously slow, (wonders if it's due to age) but at least I wasn't the last though.

Only Hong Wei joined us, wonder where's the other seniors off to.

Hesitated for quite a while before deciding to go clubbing with the pageants. I think I no longer like to go clubbing for curiosity, more of thinking it as a gathering at alternate venues I believe. Somehow, my mum just doesn't share the same sentiment though.

She woke up and saw me in a drunk state when I returned home. I hate to be in that scene, knowing how disturbed she'll be. I pretended not to realise and went back to sleep. At least the intention stems from a concerned heart. =)

How well am I juggling things right now? I really don't know. I need to get myself back in focus. Hope to spend the remaining of the recess week doing something fruitful.

Perhaps there isn't a way to keep everything. When you acquire something new in your life, you risk a chance of losing something that you have already got. Is it really too greedy to just ask for the chance to hold on to everything that still matters? Or could some changes be inevitable and irreversible? Somewhere deep down in my heart, I still hope for a miracle. Don't want to lose that hope yet. Not yet, not yet.

Bored...

It's recess week now, a good time to study but I haven't been utilising it in a proper way. Started to think about many things and thereafter drift off to my own wonderland. Even created something as lame as this. Who's the pretty girl here? Lol. Saw my friend did a photo on his, so decided to try out mine. I did everything from eyelash to mascara fully on Photoshop and it's a manual job! Lol.

Fedora 9 is really worth exploring. It's able to have all the flashy animations to enable usability in its highest form of beauty. Gosh, am I in love with it? Okay, back to serious stuff. I need to get my revision back on track.

*Traumatised*

It's been a really f**ked up week for me. Had AGM, subcom recruitment poster, investiture and Mid-autumn festival poster and banner to settle. To add on to that, I've lost my wallet as well. So sorry to have trouble my friends to accompany me to look for it. Now, all's lost and I have spent much time reporting loss of NRIC, EZlink card, ATM card, debit card and my monsoon card with a lot of cash. To add on to the loss, the replacement for these cards aren't cheap at all especially the NRIC. I've only used the monsoon card twice and once lost, the money paid for 10 times is OVER. The replacement for debit card for your information cannot be done over at the UOB branch as they do not have the system there to activate. I need to WAIT for the PIN before I can activate at the ATM. How ridiculous is that? Total loss estimated to be about $410+.

I'm so pissed and heartbroken right now, so sorry if I bark at you somehow.

Busy Busy Busy

I know I really shouldn't blog in such a busy time like this but I just can't hide my feelings. She has been showing signs that she's ok with me, but I don't know if I'm reading too much into it or... I guess I need to test water a bit further.

Just ended JCRC rally today. It had been a very tiring process going through all the preparatory work doing the publicity banners, posters and flyers. Normally, I'm someone that procrastinates but even I'm shocked by myself that I manage to keep to the tight and tiring schedule. Visiting door to door to advertise yourself is really no easy feat. You need the determination and encouragement to go on. I'm glad I have many good friends I met that keep me going. Somehow, that's what I like about the hall culture.

Doing all these things set me thinking about my future, or at least for this year. Is running for hall JCRC really what I want? I manage to sort out a few plus points that will keep me going. Firstly, I really feel that serving your community is something rewarding especially if you can enjoy immersing in that culture. Secondly, it's the friends that are running the show with you. Personally, I feel that there wouldn't be much politics involved this time round. Even if so, I'll try my best to stay out of it. Thirdly, it'll expose me to handling things at a higher level which is something I can experience.

I want to thank all the friends who have been there to support me especially through attending the rally. I know that everyone has their own work to catch up and even being there for a short while means a lot to me already. I want to accept new things coming into my life, yet I still want to grasp the existing friendship I have tightly... However, some things still seem to drift apart but I don't know how to salvage. Or am I just running away from it?

Communication

Why must we always talk about issues like this in channels like that... Somehow, something has gone awfully wrong somewhere where I'm clueless about. Friends come in and out of my life, this phase is a busy one for many people, including me. Perhaps I haven't been devoting enough time to maintain friendship. I tried somehow, just worried that the other person doesn't like it. Allow some time for me to reflect on how I can re-arrange my time to make the best out of everything.

Things aren't going that easy. I still have many more choices to make...

Evaluations

Hall 9 Dinner and Dance 2008 is finally over. Time spent on practice can now be allocated for other priorities. Somehow, I wonder if it's worthy to spend so much time on that for a moment of glory. The time for the actual event seems so minute compared to the time spent on practising. Yet, there's a regret deep down when I screwed up my dance. I thought all was over and consolation prize was waiting for me. It didn't turn out as bad as I thought and got a 2nd runner up position. I guess it's the catwalk that saved me somehow. Anyway, congratulations to Nigel and Jaclyn for clinching Hall King and Hall Queen positions. Well Done. I guess there's plenty of experience I can absorb for an event like this. Looking forward to coordinate this event for the freshmen next year.

It's a pity I couldn't send Meiling off. Wished her all the best in the University of Illinois.

Some people can just change so fast in such a short time. I really couldn't bring myself to believe it. Thought he was busy and didn't want to talk when we met up in school. Even for casual friends I would have stopped and chat for at least a couple of lines before going off. But twice he said that he needed to rush off. Today, another mutual friend was talking about him also. He came all the way from NUS to see him yet, he seemed to be bothered by mutual friend's presence and even left him alone there without bidding goodbye. I thought that was quite atrocious. I treat him not as a casual friend but don't know if such sentiments reciprocate.

Wasn't shortlist for the next round of interview. I felt quite upset about it. I couldn't think why though. Is my profile in IT not sufficient to compare with? Or the other contestants have much more to offer? Myriad of events had happened in a pace much faster than I can grasp and comprehend. I apologise for the bitching throughout this post. I just had to write it out somehow.

Now inter-hall games are about to start. I looked at the list of games and asked myself what I can offer to the hall in terms of sports contribution. I couldn't help but felt very disturbed internally. Due to the meniscus injury, my life has been heavily affected by it. I could no longer play any aggressive sports if not, my knee will just lock up again. It had come back to haunt me just a few weeks ago during an orientation camp. Such activities aren't even tough and yet, the unbearable pain sets in to disrupt whatever I want to do. I hadn't gone for any operations for I couldn't muster courage to go for it. I don't know what's the outcome and anything that could be extended by 6 months for recovery. It's just not the time... but am I just condemned to such a state. I don't want to accept this, it's not fair.

Life Progress Report

Staying in hall is really fun. Didn't regret it at all. However, sleeping late is a tradeoff for the fun I had during the day time though. With only 17 AUs, it's very slack for engineering, but I really can't get any other electives and the appeal date is over. Sigh.

Practising dance for DND is tough. I hadn't do all this before. It's very new to me. Yet, there are expectations to keep up to. Somehow, Mich's lacking the drive to finish it off properly I think. Or am I too sensitive?

Bought a new pair of Pedro shoes that costs S$99. Okay, the price is more reasonable than Aldo but that's still a big amount for a student like me. Gee, I got to save up now.

Celebrated Xin En's birthday on Monday. Even though she's smart enough to detect that we're celebrating for her, I think for the effort, she should still act as if she's surprised about it. Haha. Oh well, I'm not in the picture because I left earlier.

Now, I'm seeing my parents once or twice a week. Felt that the gap between us is widening. She's always complaining that we don't communicate. Yet, when I do so, she always makes the conversation a nasty one... =<

I can't help feeling kind of pissed about someone. In university, if you want to know more people, you have to somehow break out of your comfort zone to know more people. I think if I bother to help, he/she should be more willing to try harder. On a second thought, his/her reasons always seem justified for the things that he/she missed out. What can I say...

Her birthday is coming, I don't know if I can be in time to finish making presents for her... I think she's totally clueless about my feelings though.

Life Goes On...

Happy birthday Singapore! Watched the front segments of NDP Live Telecast. I was wondering if I had become older and hence, expectations of watching NDP has become higher, or it has really not become any better than previous years.

The marching portion wasn't that good I thought. 'Hentak Kaki' wasn't in sync and even the fancy drills wasn't up to par as previous years. There was a guy who really swung the weapon 1/2 beat out of steps with the rest for a segment. Another was looking to the other person for cue on its next move. Had they train more than half a year for this? Singing the national day song in Jazz seems new but not many people could sing along with it. Some sang with it only to met with a sudden deliberate pause in its original rhythm. Ha. It hadn't been raining for years on National Day, I thought. The members of parliament weren't wearing the raincoat for some reasons. I think even if the rain drops are fine, it's kind of cruel not to allow wearing of raincoat since the weather should still be cold. Or perhaps, it's the red and white colour combinations it's supposed to be achieved? Perhaps. Ha.

Just had the basic photo shoot of the pageants photo. Personally I feel that the stylists are good. Just that the photographs taken could be improved. There are insufficient lightings for the night shots. Here are some of the photos I have from my friend's camera.

The girls somehow weren't too happy about their hairdo. They wanted it to be more puffy I think. If not, they would rather stick to their curry puff hairstyle. Is that what they call it?

Wei wen always has this serious expression. I think with that look, he makes a good physical training instructor. He said that it's in the past. He wants resume his life as a student now... I think he is quite a nice guy although he looks like someone I hate quite a lot. Ha.

The D&D training is both very fun and stressful. There's certain levels of expectations to keep up to. Behind all the fun-loving stuff, there's always something serious to take away with. Since I'm here, I might as well take some experience away. The photo on the right is me, Gary and Michelle in Masquerade Shop trying out all the wacky and funky costumes.

On the left, that's Michelle and me trying out Victorian and Greek costumes. For more photos, it's found on my facebook. Friends and family, please come down and support me @ DXO on Saturday 16th August. Thanks.

I don't have time to do everything, but I have time for those who matters.

Hall 9 Legacy & CAC Outing

Hall 9 camp is over. Again filled with the same kind of nostalgia for the people I bonded with for the past few days. They are also my neighbours whom I'll always get to see them around at least for this year.

Had suppers, heart-to-heart talks together with them. I felt myself opening up again. It felt good.

As I'm quite a serious person, thoughts of having to perform on the D&D night easily troubles me. My partner is an inter-JC pageant so probably she has much more experience for such event. There are many things next week I can't confirm because of the D&D preparation. Hope that everything will go on fine.

We agreed on singing and dancing for the performance. Singing will be done predominantly by me and vice versa. The harder part is its integration. Photoshoot was tiring but I think catwalk training will be worse. Haha. I hope the rest of the hall niners can support me too. Haha.

Met up with friends from Valus earlier on for Ice Skating on Sunday. It was fun, I could skate much better than before. I no longer need the metal assist bar and had learnt to brake with a 180 degrees turn. Cool right. Haha.

There were many who couldn't make it for the outing. Otherwise, it would have been more fun. We tried to learn the basics from Aloysius. He's pretty skilled in that. After that, we had games like chasing groups of people. Alvin and Peng Fei picked up speed rather fast. For me, it's still slow. Don't know if it's my extra toe that's jamming my blood flow to the leg... It feels really numb after a while and I could not stand perpendicularly straight to the blades. My friends are all amazed by the extra toe but it seems to be giving more problems actually.

Somehow, I'm still trying to adapt myself to the new environment. There's many things I haven't get used to. Self-discipline is one thing that is very difficult to be instilled within me. All the continual assessment through GPA seems creepy to me. I have heard so many times that the GPA isn't everything there is to university life but somehow at this phase, it matters to me. Will I change my perception by the time I reach year 3? The seniors have been very helpful and I'm also trying my best to expand my social network. The funny thing is many people have asked me why I joined Computer Engineering. Said that I'm one of a kind to be found in that course. Lol, don't really get it though.

Post-camp Thoughts

I think the CAC FOC was pretty awesome. Considering all the efforts the seniors put up, it's a wonderful one. Also because of the numerous sponsors, CAC is able to tighten down the budget to doing wonders with peanut camp fees.

I was hoping that the pictures would be uploaded soon but it seems nowhere in sight for Valous, my group yet. The video will be uploaded to the blog soon as mentioned in that CAC blog.

I should have brought mobile charger so I can take more personal photos with friends on my end here.

Day 0
It was a tiring day for everyone. There were too many things squeezed into it and everyone had to run from stations to stations all the time until about 3 am.

There is group cheers, flags that have to be settled down shortly after introduction and icebreakers. I realised I didn't bring my contact lenses case and I got to share with Alvin Teo. Thanks.

Day 1
We learned mass dance and more running to go for the programme of Tour de NTU. Pool games was eventually cancelled due to extensive wet weather that prolonged throughout the day. Honestly, I was kind of disappointed actually as it was also another main component of the camp. During that night, it was also planned for fright night. The seniors tried to tell us "scary" stories before that and I could already anticipate that to happen. It really isn't scary to me at all... I have to pair up with Nian Ya, a year 2 senior as there weren't enough female freshies in my group to pair up for. Another disappointment. Haha.

Day 2
It's amazing race day. We had to go from places to places to complete tasks. It wasn't that hard to start with just that due to the unpolished skills we have in mass dance, we had to leave NTU last. Ying Ying and others was kind of amazed when I drew a lion on the kite in a brief sketch. She seems interested to get me running for the JCRC for hall 9. But we had fun throughout. Everyone utilised their expertise in completing tasks and had fun times at the Maxwell centre sharing food and stuff. We did many stupid things like showing public our mass dance and getting them to do "thousand Buddha hands" with us. Our last stop is at Sentosa to prepare for next day's activities.

Day 3
We had to wake up early for the beach games for the entire day. It was fun really and Joyce was kind of overjoyed when I told her that. She's the overall-in-charge of that beach games. Here I did more even sun-tanning and my friends thought that the sun tan was over drastic when they saw the sunburn tan lines on my back. I didn't acquire that from this camp okay? By this day, we're already very comfortable with each others' company. Realised that in general, Valous isn't that rar-rar kind of people but nevertheless fun-loving. At night, we went back to NTU to start the secret pal programme. Everyone was blindfolded and be given time to interact with their SP with conversations and sense of touch. The initiation night was really dirty. I was told by my friends in NUS that they didn't play that far. I was prompted to answer questions that are downright horny in front of my SP and have to do close and intimate actions mimicking kissing in front of numerous seniors whom I don't exactly know who either. I got my hair nourished in raw eggs, flour, shampoo and many other things you can think of.

My SP and I nearly chilled to death by the time the initiation night ended. Got a garbage bag to shield us from chills of the morning wind sweeping past our body like blades. My SP's nice. She shared that bag with me voluntarily. After that, we didn't talk much. My mind's entering a whole new realm of fatigue. Something that I've almost long forgotten to what seems alike to the experience in BMT, only this time is through the compounded sleep deprivation.

Day 4
Played some more games with the OG in the early part of the day. From here, I have a conclusion that Valous has many sadistic people. We get energised mostly for "touchy" games like "MRT", and my group has its own version of it that even the organisers are scared to play with us especially with our hard-core "Team Rocket" people. It's an internal joke that we shared. This is also a night for SP date. We're supposed to dress well for the night. The cool part of this is that we get to go to Pariss International Restaurant for dinner date. Oh gosh, all the cents of $45 I paid for the camp fees is definitely worthwhile. Haha. Although the dreaded part is that after grooming well for it, the guys have to go through series of torment and humiliation before we can get our SP out for the dates. By that time, not many guys look good with dishevelled hair and attire.

For me, I was asked to do many push ups that I really lost count of and to hug a guy like a bear. In front of many girls, I'm asked to strip and tease, then I got to sing out loud like 10 metres away outside the room to get everyone's attention on me. I also had to run around the place twice also. Next I was asked to say many silly lines as my nickname is Aladdin and I got to fly the magic carpet as requested. It all ended after swallowing down Wasabi bread. I felt disappointed as my SP really didn't seem to bother to dress well at all. (I'll upload the picture next time. No scanners available now.)

Dinner time was fun with the games. My SP didn't like to eat meat and I had to adjust the portion accordingly so that I can get the right amount for the 2 of us. The conversations that went on between us were kind of out of context. I presume for occasions like that, it's always best to have light-hearted talk. Instead, we're discussing IQ questions. More brain cells died.

After the sumptious dinner, we went to DXO to club. I'm glad to return to my OG. I have nothing much to talk to her already and it's getting awkward to just be there looking dumbfounded. Ha. I find that I really don't dance that much as I did back then. Perhaps because halfway through, my OG girls left the place. They're not exactly the clubbing types which in a way is good. Ha.

Slept quite late that day. The guys had guys talk that night. I'm surprised that the girls didn't have that. They said that they needed beauty sleep more. Ha.

Day 5
It's the finale day. We all knew it had to end somehow and day 5 is the final day that we have with each other in Castovia. I kind of miss the time that we shared and the seniors have put up a really good video recollecting the short time we spent with each other. I'll remember it for the days to go by in NTU. More updates to follow next when I get more photos.

The Bangkok Gang

It was supposed to be quite a nice event I think but I ruined the significance by being late, again. It was first time ever I sensed that immense anger in CP when I told them I'll be late. Alighted the bus and took a cab from where I alighted. Awkward silence and forced smiles were stretched out their faces. I expected worse situation like hurling comments and things like that. Guilty...

Nevertheless, things got better and we went to play Frisbee, roller blading and some mini-picnic. I just wanted this to be a outing to sort of celebrate for CP in proper. Thought that the ad-hoc 21st celebration @ Bangkok Airport was too haphazard. Ha.

It looks like she enjoyed it. There's a new pooh bear to her collections of it. I think she already has a lot of them though.

I was blamed because there was excessive food that we brought. I intended for that to be more of a picnic session. Who knows we actually skated and played Frisbee more? Ha.

The weather was really scorching hot. Good that it didn't rain like the previous days. Sun tanning was to its maximum effect that I got sunburned. Ouch.

 The guy at the skating outlet was very friendly but a bit too friendly. I was quite stunned when he commented on my looks. I had nothing more to say regarding that than to thank him for his compliment though. Lol. Cheryl says I shouldn't be too nice as I'll be giving the wrong signals. Ha. Is there a fault for being just plain polite?

Cheryl says that she's someone complicated and she doesn't like to talk about things. From what I see, it's not exactly so. It just takes the right key to unlock her heart to share about her personal life. CP said that she really hopes that the Bangkok gang can stay on as long as it can be. I hope so too and hope that whatever happened in life, we try to stay true to ourselves and not be 'plastic' to the ones who matter to us.

Just For Thoughts

Saw a new episode of 'Just for Laughs'. They had one with the fitting room curtain loosely 'fitted' and unaware female victims had thought that they had accidentally tugged that down. For the first few seconds, the women had their eyes covered but only to peek out of curiosity at the man in the fitting room with varied expressions. The man was trying out a bikini when the curtain was tugged down. Some stare with wide eyes while others are scanning at him with lusty intentions. I wonder what fetish those women have. Haha.

I was thinking the way Buddhist monk Ming Yi handles the charity organisation has just totally crushed the remain of what little faith we have left in charity organisations. Even in charity organisations, embezzling money can be that prevalent. First with Mr Durai and next is him, someone who is known to go all out to perform stunts to raise funds for patients. Just one blow is sufficient to destroy all the good reputations he has earned so far. His deeds can all doubtfully be questioned by the public of any other intentions for his personal agenda. Who knows?

Wilson and Zach had talked about the air bubble in the spiritual heart. We try and work so hard to fill our lives with meaning. We meet more friends, study hard, work hard, dress up to our best. Everything we do, we strive for the better. Yet in a corner of our heart, we always feel something is missing. That missing air bubble can be different for everyone. For some, it may be religion, some is to carry out the acts of humanitarian through voluntarism and charity, but for others, it may not be so. I guess, I know what's mine. But somehow, I'm not actively trying to fill it up. Maybe I'm still waiting for the right time, but... when is it so?

Friends

After a long time of not hearing anything from D, I've decided to seek help to contact D. It was after a casual chat with Jialing that I realised she not only didn't talk to me but also to Tracy, Jialing and Keefer. The good thing is that Tracy managed to get her in the end. Hope that everything's all right.

I realise sometimes I do need a friend to just stay by the side. Even without doing anything, it's spiritually fulfilling. Haven't had the simplest of such joy since a long time back. Thanks WY. =)

Aaron asked me if I felt offended by the fact that the camp was organised by HOPE church and yet the non-Christians were kept in the dark. My answer is no. I felt it is fine as long no preaching is carried out under the pretext of friendship. Trust is a vulnerable thing. Once broken, it's hard to mend it back. I trust that it's not that intention they're befriending me for.

Didn't know Elson used to be that high profile as a model. Ha, he didn't flaunt it to me just that I happened to ask about his part-time job besides studying. He looks like a down-to-earth kind of person. I guess that's why he quitted modelling because of several complicated issues he had faced in the past.

Mum asked me be considerate to my roommate in hall. I hadn't really thought of such things as an issue. always thought that everything will just be the same. Living with another person could be a different thing. Oh well, I'll be more considerate, JY.

Anyone interested to work at a one day event for NLB for a heritage event on 2 August? The task would be to take photographs and to upload photographs to an online portal as well as other ad-hoc jobs on site. As simple as that. $60 for that event. Also comes with a free T-shirt. Going for the rehearsal the day before will add another $30. Limited vacancy. More details will be given at a future date.

Stir of Emotions

Seems like lots of people are upset about not able to get enrolled for the NBS camp. I'm not sure for me whether it's a right choice to give computer engineering camp a miss. The suspense of waiting for the CAC camp is killing me figuratively. The registration deadline has again been extended due to the downtime earlier on. To add on to the 'excitement' I'm feeling right now, my friends who will be going to NUS have been enthusiastically uploading their photos of FOC to let the whole world know about the happening events they're going through. Argh. It's okay, I'll have my fun later on.

The expenses for outings are getting to burn my fingers. I need to find more income. I don't want to take anything from Dad for things that I'm enjoying myself. It's just doesn't seem right. Other than tuition, are there other possible options I can explore.

I realise I'm just not cut out for games. Can't even play reasonably well in a game of pool. I know practice makes perfect but I think I know my strengths well enough and that playing games don't fall in that category.

Dispute Call

Oh gosh, I'm feeling so mad I can emotionally 'explode'. In June, I have actually charged $2000 laptop bought at PC Fair to the UOB NOW card for the reason that I would be able to earn smart$ points. But hey, there's only 500 participating merchant outlets so that's not considered. Thus, I called UOB to kindly ask if they can credit that transaction to my visa mini instead whereby I would be able to earn the uni$ instead.

But guess what? No, it's not possible. After sometime whereby this agent Jessica got my situation right but still not able to help me in anyway, I requested for a manager to the line. As usual, I can't get hold of a manager, and hence a manager callback was requested within 2 hours. Within 15 minutes or so, someone called back reiterating what the agent told me just a moment ago. I was so pissed off. Come on, I can provide any details they need and they have the information that such charge was credited using the card. I don't need any posting of charges back to the card and I don't see why they can't just adjust the uni$ points! Ultimately, the conclusion that I imply is that, "No I can't help you with that. Maybe better luck next time". Oh gosh, if in that case I would rather use ATM if I can. Thanks UOB for that.

So pissed right now, I should have gone on and on to dispute accordingly with their terms and conditions.

Little Rants

Quarrelled with mum again. She scolded me for something I did not do. Just felt very pant up inside to tolerate and to listen to matters that she wrongly accused me for, thus I rebuked back with my reasoning. She cried, saying that I'm not as obedient as how I used to be now I'm an adult. =.= Seriously, if I'm not in the wrong, there's really no need for me to say sorry. But I guess, when girls/women cry, the guys are always in the wrong. Guys are always stereotyped to be stronger both emotionally and physically in almost anyway. It sucks to be a guy sometimes.

Things are going to be different in university. Coping with new environment, new learning methods, new friends. Will I still be able to cope if a relationship is at hand? I don't wish to jeopardise the future of any party yet I don't want to lose an opportunity if it comes along. After talking to CP, I realised what a failure I am in choosing a girlfriend. I didn't know what I wanted in the past. Now, will I still make the same mistake that I had in the past? I guess only time will tell.

Bangkok Trip

Back from the trip~! I think I'm already missing the things in Bangkok. The people there are mostly very friendly and the things are uber cool and cheap! I think I bought many things from there.

That's me with the things I bought from the shopping frenzy. Quite a great deal. 1 jacket, 6 T-shirts, 4 singlets, 1 long sleeve shirt, 1 sling bag, 1 bottle of honey, a few souvenirs, 2 chokers, 4 short pants, 1 pair of jeans and many more.

Another thought that struck me was that even though I had known Cheryl just for the trip, everything went pretty well as though I've known her for quite some time. Probably she's just very sociable.

Kind of happy that E turned up to send me off. Not something essential but she did it anyway. Just kind of dumb when she bluffed me she wasn't going to do that.

It's my first time taking a flight, hence I was on the edge when the plane's about to take off. Same for landing. I just silently prayed for everything to be fine. Ha.

I thought that the terminal would be more impressive but okay... What more can I ask for something that cheap. Just perhaps the name of the terminal can be changed to something that sounds nicer. =x

What's really cheap down there are the wholesales market. There's just too many apparels to choose from. It takes true effort to source for something nice that I seek to purchase.

The climb onto Wat Arun was quite memorable too. The steps seem to be designed in a steep angle as if it was purposely constructed for some purpose. Should have bought some souvenirs there, it's relatively cheaper than those you can buy elsewhere!

I really want to have a better camera. Mine really sucks. No image stabilizer or face recognition feature. Without tripod or flash, photos will be blur for sure. Sigh.

I think the trip is kind of long for 4 days long worth of shopping. Everyone was really exhausted to the maximum. I think we spent more time in the airport doing stupid poses for camwhoring than to do much effective sightseeing.

I was told about the impression I give to others for my image. Thought of it as a compliment in a different sense. But what the hell, I'm still going to be who I am. No change to that.

The full batch of photos can be found on facebook.

At the same time, I reflected something. Thought that I was really fortunate to be born in Singapore. I have the necessities like getting a proper meal provided to me without me having to worry for it. That's not exactly the case for them. I see many kids at least 10 years younger performing or begging on streets with their father or mother. Imagining life's going to be the same for them many years down the road. It's a phenomenon that's naturally occurring to poorer countries and as for us, we can only count our blessings.

Yesterday, a friend told me something about his past. I was quite shocked. Didn't expect that to come from him. He had a troubled past and it's not something glorious that you would mention to a friend you know no longer than 2 months. But from what he has to say, I would say that he has figured out what the right path is and only something good awaits him. I'm happy for him to be enlightened after all that he's gone through. I hope everything goes well for him.

I wanted to tell E about my opinion on relationship but couldn't find a right time to. I figured out it's not just about the feelings that occurred momentarily. What else can we fall back on if the interest fades? It's also about whether we can be ready to tolerate each other's character. Would it matter if I tell her... Or since it's not something that will change the outcome, I should just rest the case?

Freshmen Orientation Camps

23rd June 2008

I shall set the date for easy reference to my blog inserts until further updates to my blog template. Haha.

Just gotten my orientation package today. Yay, took some time to sort out the ones I'm interested with. Freshmen orientation camps are fun but I shall be practical enough to choose just one to attend for.

1. NTU sports club camp
2. NTU CAC camp
3. NTU Student Union camp

These are not arranged in any merit order. I got to make a decision fast enough to enjoy the early bird offer. Hopefully, it's in line with what Jy wants to attend for. =P

I think this is the only photo that more or less the entire Argentina members are in. Aye, I must train my thighs more in review of the cycling activities that went on that day. Ha, it's fun though. More pictures can be seen on my facebook profile.

Went gym with Aaron, Kelvin and his friend yesterday. It was more fruitful than usual. But still we chatted quite a lot as I don't recall being in gym for more than 2 hours~!

The intensity of the sunlight wasn't as hot as what we thought (what do you expect after a whole morning downpour) so the suntan session was called off. I doubt anyone brought any lotion either. Heh. I also think that it's a bit thick skin to use someone's stuff when I don't even know him before.

Yesterday's outing with E, ML and BW turned out horrible. It was another impromptu one but I didn't expect anything like that would be possible. Until now, I still couldn't figure out the entire story after the heated arguments between E and BW. Something BW must have said to E for her to be THAT indignant... Some sort of negotiation talks went on for 30min+ I believe while ML and me were at a loss of what to do or say. Somehow, I was told that it didn't have anything to do with me but I believe it's somehow related though. I told E that when she's in a state to inform me, then tell me at that time. Will things still be the same thereafter?

Emo Calls...

Hey D, if you want to call me and talk about things, I'm here. I'm just so annoyed that you hung my call when I return your call. If you so want to talk about things, then don't give me 4 missed calls and reject one when I call back and messaged back. Is the friendship that volatile or indispensable? I'm sorry if I happened to be away from my mobile. But I'll respond nevertheless. If you're reading this, think it through and be in my shoes please.

Enough about bitching. Finally settled my matriculation tasks. I'm so sorry Jy for keeping you wait for my matriculation number. It's my bad habit of procrastinating tasks. =x The NTU website has revamped and it looks pretty good. Just that I'm rather frustrated about the photo upload script. It sucks. I have to try again and again before I can manage to upload my passport photo up. I must have a great deal of patience I think.

It's almost coming to an end for GENacts activities. I wonder if any meaningful friendships can be forged out of these few events that I am only able to make it for... Like what wy has said, the group consists of people who prefer to stay in the comfort zone and not those who will go all out and do crazy things. It's not wrong, just that the times would have been more memorable for everyone if we treasure the times more. In the meantime, let's just think of more cheers...

Watched this Korean drama today and saw this scene of a little girl cry and snuggle up to the father. She asked him if his love for the family will vanish just like his love for the wife. Asked in translated mandarin "Ni hai hui ai wo ma?" in tears brimming. I thought this is a heart rending moment. If ever a guy wants to file for divorce, this is the pain the child has to go through...

I guess some things just cannot happen no matter how much you want it to be... Sigh.

Learnt 'saccharine' word from someone's blog. Another new vocabulary for my limited bank of words. Haha.

Don't Say Goodbye...

It's finally over with the daily nags, complaints, rattling of customers which I so hate the job for. But it also means saying goodbye to the people I see in Starhub. In the process of surrendering over the temp staff pass and the calculator, I subconsciously counted back the number of days these items have been with me, yes it's 6 months already. It's time to move on. But why is the nostalgia feeling always there to bug me when I want to move on?

For most of the friends I've come to know, in fact pretty much for sure, it's probably the last time I'll see them around. Hereby, I'm bidding farewell to Desmond, Jonathan, Frank, John, Ronald, Meiling, Yeow Kheng and others in my batch.

As for my team, I suppose team bonding doesn't come that easy. Truthfully, I didn't feel quite bonded to the team at all for the 1st month or so. It's hard to just blend in to the group as though we're a close clique already. It all takes time and I'm definitely not anti-social. Ha. Fortunately, I felt a sense of belonging to the team eventually when I joined them in their endeavour to lower call stats by doing more OT.

For that, I've come closer than just acquaintance with my team leader Terasa. She's a caring leader that can be very nice at times. =)

Here's Jes, my 'neighbour' who sits next to me. She's a very optimistic, independent and approachable person. So much so that it's just so easy for me to ask her anything I don't know. Her patience must have been good, as I never recalled her barking back at me to check my notes instead of asking. Ha.

Here's Matthew. A friendly guy with a cool face. He never says no when I ask him for help. Perhaps he's too nice until the extent that he gets bullied. Not by me of course but someone else. Tsk tsk... I guess for him pouting is the best way to vent frustrations. Ha.

Here's Meiling. My impression of her is that she's a smart girl who's always so bubbly, cheerful and wacky. Her words never fail to make people smile. Hope you can find your Mr Right soon.

Here's weiming, a incredibly tall guy in my team. Don't by deceive by his looks. He's older than his looks. He's always vying for the highest call stats possible. Ha, guess I wasn't in the right mind to even challenge him the other time.

XiaoYong, don't give up! Always will remember you as the team's loudspeaker. Someone very open about personal things and optimistic about things in life. I believe the next girl you find will be a better one for you. Ha. Please keep believing~! (Saying that to myself too... >.<)

From here on, I will want to plan my time better. There's always so many meaningful things waiting for me to do. Just need to sort the priorities right.

It's time to choose my notebook. Deliberating between Toshiba/Fujitsu's notebook or Apple Macbook Pro Student Plan. Hmm...