:( I can't login to Windows Live Messenger using my sirhc.net account. Don't know what's the reason behind it. My hotmail account can be used to login though. Check the validity of my live ID on the web. It's still valid, just no idea why I can't sign in. *Frustrated*

Jian yuan's birthday is coming. Wonder where can we celebrate his birthday. Actually, I'd in mind a place. However, I don't know where is it. I shall find out...

It's snowing now in India, how rare. In many other Asia countries, the people are dying of heat. China's having approximately 40 degrees Celsius as I heard on the news. Farmers died of heatstroke is today's news. Hmm, don't you think the trend of hotter temperature is getting worrisome?

The feeling is brewing strong. I can't stand my life anymore. I need a change desperately.

This is a picture of me smiling. Retouched it for a more soft and mellow feeling out of the photo. >.< Okay, I'm bored, that's why I did this.

Mm, my status in camp is now excused shipboard duties and excused sailing for a month. I'm supposed to be happy because it's more relaxed for me at least. It's Aops's expression that make me feel perturbed. I didn't cause the injury on purpose neither am I amplifying the injury for my own sake. What the MO and doctor see is the true situation of how my knee is! Hai... I'm supposed to be posted to shore unit but he refuses to let me go. He just wants me to stay behind to do things for the ship in any way possible. I foresee more of such problems will be coming. More people will start to say things behind my back. Today, I waited for quite a while so that I could have a late lunch to avoid seeing the people whom I thought will say things about me. Maybe it's just my imagination but maybe not. I told myself it's not my fault and I shouldn't continue to reproach myself for that. I want to pick that self-confident me back. I'm trying...

Last Saturday, I did a foolish thing which I find it amusing at the same time too. My brother's girlfriend was in his room and as usual his door was closed. I was rushing for time and I was desperately finding the shaver. I knocked the door and within 2 seconds of no-response feedback, I opened the door immediately. "Waaoooh~~!" was what I heard from his girlfriend. Eh, should I say fortunately, I wasn't wearing my spectacles or contact lenses that's why I can't see clearly what hanky panky stuff they did. Lol... Hmm, I think I need to think twice when I enter his room now. I don't want to be called "rude" this way. Ha.

Met up with Desmond earlier on. Well, he seems to have changed in his thoughts and way of life. He no longer seems to place emphasis on his looks and appearance but more on how he can earn big money at this phase of life which he deems NS to be too small a portion to play in it currently. He told me most of his NS friends are earning much money outside due to their intuitive ideas of business in many varieties. Of course, they have such chances due to their PES status which he has no idea how they manage to end up in that since they look so healthy yet end up being clerks handling admin matters. Well... maybe if I was surrounded with people like that, I may be inspired to do so... However, it seems unrealistic at the pace he was thinking...

Sky just has a funny way of blogging his feelings. Mm...

I just read an article about men's grooming and flirting tips. It's not as "hip" as the title of the article may sound. What the article in essence is saying about flirting is that men like women also need to socialise with other people to enlarge social circle. The women ultimately may not be the "one" but she can be another valuable friend. The true "one" could be her friend, there's never a sure thing. The grooming part is about men's image in today's world. Some of the tips that were written really gave me an eye-opener how detailed men's grooming can be. Wow, looks like, there's still much to learn regarding that. Lol.

Heard something ridiculous today. The medic told me that the medical endorsement needs to be booked in advance and gave me a date at June. Seriously, what's the point of endorsing so late a time when I've already long had my mc. He also said I'm not excused from QM duties when I can't even walk properly lest doing duty... Went to medical centre to talk to them and the SSG began to open up the directives to check for me. (Thought it was weird. Isn't the assessment of my situation case-by-case matter here more relevant?) Anyway, I'm not supposed to do anything strenous... There's no saying that I'm supposed to continue with QM duties... So, yep. Back to case-by-case situation... All in all, I just find the system weird. Sometimes, I just can't help watching the "Just follow law" again and again.

Just a few days didn't go back and I seem to be quite lost already. There's something about ship T-shirt, the fact that Adriel passed out already, newly mentioned rule that QM need not muster?, ship's outing at Jurong Swimming Pool, Shawn's assessment done.... Quite shocking.

Hehe, now there seems to be 2 unknown readers from what I know. I wonder which other unknown readers there are here.

It's Mothers' Day today. Happy Mothers' Day to all! Here I am at home not able to go out to celebrate with my mum due to an injury on my left knee sinew... It's really really painful when I try to move about. Went Tan Tock Seng Hospital yesterday to get painkiller medication and mc for me to rest at home. Not only I can't bring my mum out for celebration, she has to help me for many of the things. Yuck...

Saw the news of the tragic accident that happened to the 2 Singapore servicemen in Taiwan. They died pathetically during their training in Taiwan. It still goes to show how much one can lose during their contributions for the nation, how fragile a life can be. There's still so much left for them to do. They're gone, leaving their friends and relatives behind grieving for them. My heartfelt sympathy goes to them.

Here's a picture of a colourful eye done in photoshop with brush and effects entirely using my mouse. The lines are very much unstable due to the shakiness and the difficulty of control on a mouse. Maybe I'll get a tablet in the future.

I wanted to bring out some sort of emotions in the eye but seems like just a "dead" eye upon completion...

She's getting her life back on track and she seems happy about her life now. I'm glad of it and hope she stays that way...

Finally finished watching Hana Kimi on YouTube. It's a cute Taiwan idol show. Ha, wished that my love life would be a little more exciting, sweet than I will have. But it's not something that comes true by just yearning for it. Too shy to pursue for it... Wanted to have someone to look forward to seeing after work, somebody to work hard for, someone to share my happiness and someone whom I can cry to... I am weak inside no matter how I want to hide it. I don't know what's wrong with me lately but I'm getting weaker in controlling my emotions.

I tend to see the faults in other people which have made me very unhappy about many issues. There aren't many people whom I can really look up to. Is my perception of other people overly negative or it's just natural like that? I don't know. I want to believe that there's goodness in everyone, just that sometimes it's hard. Maybe that's why I love playing RPG games. Everyone in the game seems so perfect, heroic and righteous...

Thank you Padma, Choon Pei, Jian Yuan, Hui Chuan for cheering me on. Feeling empty~