ORD lo! Gee.. it feels so good... I'm a NSman, not a NSF! Woohoo....

No photos here either because I'm too lazy to upload or there's really nothing much. Ok, this time I'm going to put up something. Haha... But I think my photography skills kind of sucks. I have to manually edit every picture to get the right tones and colour range. Something I can't do on my camera. Besides, the display is kind of deceiving. It's show overly vibrant colours with rich contrast... Haha.

First are the ORD BBQ pictures. It's held in East Coast Park. I think I need to go there more often, otherwise I may forget how to go there. Lol. =x Many of the group photos I have with me are badly captured. My friends didn't on the flash. =( It's not on by default...

Here are some of the shots with my friends. Uday and Eugene are 2 friends who were my platoon mates in BMT and followed me to my Navy life. Unfortunately, we are not posted to the same units after our vocational training. Ha...

Okay, from the pictures, you can tell how many attended. A better turnout rate than expected. Just that I didn't think Wei Le will be the one organising it.

His hand is injured after ORD due to a very stupid reason... I shan't elaborate more.. The way he delayed for his treatment was even more unbelievable too. Entirely half an hour of wound left open! Lol...
Here's another shot Hui Chuan request to let it stay this way. He says it makes him look angelic. Oh, whatever, it's not anywhere near his character, that is...

Poor Caicai, he's being targeted to be... erm...played around? Here's the proof... Actually, there's a few more candid photos the guys tried to take. The popular "jump-in-the-air" sort of photos. Well... it's not very successful though and it's very difficult to capture such timing given the fact that many jumped at different rates.

Another photo was the photo for all the tall guys + one short guy. I'm glad I wasn't chosen. Kelvin was chosen. Lol, it looks damn insulting to Kelvin. Nevertheless, Kelvin still chose to appear in the photo with them.

More photos can be found on facebook...

Next is the cousin's birthday-cum ORD celebration. Bro came along too and we went to Heeren's Sakae Sushi. When we reached there, the shops were very empty because Energy was holding their fans talk at the centre in Heerens.. That's right, the fan girls were screaming at the top of their voice and camera photos were madly flashed. However, Sakae Sushi still has so many customers and we almost couldn't get the seats.

After eating for a while, I realised Mum's neighbour, "thirteen aunt"'s son and Zhen Gang were eating there too. Both of them I know and don't have too nice of an impression with... Lol. Anyway, I realised we three shouldn't have ordered buffet together because the 2 can count under as one buffet.. That would save a lot of money. The bill was $91.60 if I wasn't wrong... Wow, so much for just 3 people only... Anyway, that photo on the left is my brother and me. (Pss... He's wearing my shirt...) The photo here makes it look like it's taken during the day but no, it's in the evening. I brighten it so much that our faces can be more recognisable. Haha.

The photo on the right is my cousin Karin (yep, she's pregnant already... Still thinking of name for her baby) and my brother. I don't think she can sit on the stools for the horizontally aligned seats near the conveyor belt... Fortunately, we got this larger seats. Hehe...

Mm, okay... ORD celebration is over. I need to focus on my next phase of life...

Yesterday's moon was so gorgeous! Full red moon and extra large in size! Ok... I saw that at pasir ris beach. Ex-pri 6A class gathering. Hehe...

Mm... It took me quite a while to find that place, that pasir ris park and town park are the same... The answer is no by the way. When I reached there, only Choo Kiat, Zhi Huang, Shi Jie and Jessica were there. (Wow, so many...) It was already 1.5hrs past the supposed starting time.

Jess changed a bit, recognised her by her voice. Ali came later and I really wouldn't know it's him if nobody told me who he was... Mm.. He slimmed down a great deal, honestly. Was hoping that Aiping and Joel to come but sadly, they didn't turn up... Nevertheless, our conversation was going well even though we have not seen each other since the last secondary 4 gathering. (How I age...=P) Those that came later was Swee Ting, Belinda, Ming Xiu, Li Qin and Mrs Poh (correction... It's Carol) I can see that Carol who's our all time ex-Maths teacher have so much things to talk to everyone. We sat there listening to her most of the time when she arrived, adding in funny, lame comments every now and then. She's not teaching Maths to us yesterday, but very true and harsh realities of life. Even Shi Jie quietened down when she spoke and like magic, we're all enchanted to what she has to say.. Talked about everything ranging from studies to love to housing to career and to family...

It was about 2am that we ended. I really enjoyed the bbq even though the food was disappointing... And... I still haven't buy anything for Jeremy and Fiona for their birthday today yet... Oops!

Oo... ages ago since I've updated... Blog's so cold already =P

Mm, my hand's still not fully healed yet... But I can carry light stuff like paper...haha. Wish me speedy recovery ok?

Went back to Maris Stella High to visit teachers. How nostalgic the place is... but many things changed. The students have gotten more mischievous... Yea, the name of the school is already so notorious. Didn't manage to see Mr Leong there. He's the teacher I wanted to see most. He's really a character developer to me. Want to thank him... Saw the rest of the teachers Mr Ragu (officially last day teaching in mshs), Mrs Low, Mrs Tan, Ms Jazilah (she didn't change much), Mr Guo, Ms Goh, etc... I was with Chris and his friend when we visit the teachers. Seems like Chris really didn't like VJ at all. From his speech, I could tell that he has already given up that cold-blooded place... Haha

Had a super frustrating experience with setting up my new computer... Now, it's finally ready. Took me so many trips to Sim Lim Square and much money too. Argh. It's okay, I'll earn back that money through freelance web design that I'm currently doing.

There's many outings arranged around this period.. Tomorrow's my primary school friends' gathering. Coming soon will be the ORD gathering, after which will be secondary school friends' gathering. December will be attending for CP's send off to India...

Okay... that's all!

Oh, another post here. I've been feeling so lazy to update my blog. =P

I've been so absorbed in Dragon Ball manga lately that I didn't bother logging in Live Messenger to chat. The story is ever so exciting in all its episodes... However, since it's such an old comics, it's not easy to find all its chapters out.

I've put on quite a lot of weight lately. When I weighed myself in coveralls without the shoes I was about 58.... It's evident from the size of my belly too... Aye, maybe I'll do more skipping and short running...

Went to witness Persistence slip off CNB for OBO IV. Felt kind of sad at the moment seeing my colleagues at the for'cle as the ship is slipping off. She finally cried after we talk to her for a while... I think she really misses everyone, but don't know if she had any regrets on her decisions...

The japanese sailors came onboard Resolution 4 days before and had asked for an exchange in navy items such as ball cap, pipe and etc. What the officer could produce is only a bag of items, not sure what is it to exchange with their items... Ha, I felt we're a bit insincere actually... I think A Ops O also has some problems in communicating with them anyway.

Hmm, now my brother and his girlfriend are back together... Well, should I feel happy for them knowing my brother is so fickle-minded?

Felt bad not keeping up to my promises... Argh... terrible. Apology doesn't seem to help too, I think.

Back to blogging again. Just finished watching "Dorm". It's such a great show, a horror show that moves people.. How's that? It's not scary but just a bit creepy in earlier parts.

Read two books these few weeks... (wow, I seldom read books after A's) Teenage textbook and Teenage workbook. In case you are wondering what that is, it's actually two series of er.... teenage stories written in very casual language for pleasure reading. It was written very long time ago since the fashionable stuff that was mentioned was seriously outdated in the current times. Nevertheless, the mushy love part can apply in any century, anywhere I suppose.

This evening, I bought Strepsils for my mum's sore throat. I noticed a surprised expression when I flashed that out. Mm, either she's touched or I was never so sensitive?

National day on Sentosa... Hmm... I shall go anyway. It's been ages since I met my secondary school friends anyway.

Keep forgetting things. Is there a way other than setting reminders to remember things... I just suck at that. Haiz, wonder will the memory strengthening exercise actually help... Actually offended quite a few people because of that... Yucks...

It's been a while since I've updated.

Don't like the new coxswain. He's poking very much into the ship's affair and disturbs me with totally unnecessary work that I feel that it isn't at all my job scope. Bah... I've no other way to reject that though.

The nicer the people around me are, the more I'm relying on them. I seem to become less independent already. Not a good sign for me. Upon reaching adulthood soon, there seems to be many things on my mind. Life's not as simple as just having enough food and shelter for yourself. I need to care about the people around me too. But I'm not that mature to do just that much yet.

Haix. Let's write something else.
1. Tried Tiramisu ice-cream. Yummy! Nice~!
2. Got someone senior to tell me something right from his heart (it's a feat for me...)
3. Got wanted from another unit (NDU). Haha, long story...
4. Got my computer fixed finally. But I pissed off my dad when I asked him to wait for me for the repair at Sim Lim Square. But now, my computer's finally speaking!

That's for now... Tada

I'm so shagged out after 2 consecutive days of rehearsal for SAF day parade. Well... hot weather's one thing. Long period of closing up for the stations is quite demanding and unreasonable especially when it is going to be a long period of time before the guest arrives near my station. There's many unhappiness and unrest among many of the working party. I'm not sure if the captain is aware of it, but I doubt he cares little about that seriously... Don't want to go too detailed about the many things that he did...

Shared quite a lot of crap with Yvvin and Yan Qiao for the past 2 days. It's quite fun. Yan Qiao also taught me many valuable things about design and had a few drawing sessions here and there. Ha... He has a profile on Deviantart, do view it. It's cool! I too discovered that Yvvin has many similarities between us. She likes anime and is probably more fanatic than I am.

Started watching "Nana" anime. It's another nice love-themed anime. Hai... Feeling very drained. I'll be keeping my blog short for the time being. Going to watch Transformer soon...

The garden level atop Vivo City is really a romantic place to be. It feels so good to be drowned in the sweet ambiance of the night there. I can imagine with a serenade there, it would be perfect! =D Somehow, being there can allow me to temporarily forget the stress of the daily affairs, away from the reality for a moment...

Is there something within me that's special? Many people like to tell me things that they don't usually tell others. I take comfort knowing that I'm someone special to them.

Watched Nancy Drew already. The "Nancy" resembles Julia Roberts to some extent indeed. Fine facial features she has indeed. The plot isn't childish as how I thought it would be. An interesting movie too!

Mm, there's nothing my computer can be saved through repairing. Needs an entire overhaul of motherboard. Mum refused to render any financial help. Helpless... Can only rely on myself. Fortunately, Gabriel has an extra motherboard which his brother has abandoned a year ago... Wonder if everything can be solved. Owed him one favour, ha.

Damn pissed about my computer.... Had a hard time trying to unplug all the cables and finding the slots to unscrew the components and hard disk out. Had to be very careful in order not to slam or drop any part... I'm too noob. I don't even know which parts are best left untouched. My brother's computer is worse... His is the type that is very unfriendly to customise. The holes are all out of alignment with the screws and I seriously have a hard time switching hard disks.... It's okay if you don't understand this part. I'm just typing it out for frustration....

Another sinful day... Ate McDonalds Rice Burger Meal for lunch, New York's Mushroom Bacon Spaghetti for dinner. The portion for New York's really huge compared to my appetite. I'm glad I chose the smaller portion type of spaghetti. If not, I really can't finish or would be gorging food into myself to death. It's quite oily by the way...

Bought a shirt, a T-shirt and casual vest. Mm, cost over $120+. Think I'll save some and think of shoes later. Seems like I've procrastinate very long on buying shoes already... I wanted to get the cardigan type of shirts too. Wanted to try out different kind of styles...

I am always curious when people look at me and whisper things to their friends' ear.. Wanted to know what they say be it good or bad. Just met a group of cedar girls who did that for a few times throughout my trip on bus 72.

Can't think of any new suggestions to clock for my USMS... Forced to take leave when I don't want to... It's not going my way...

Had a fun day yesterday night. But spent quite a torrential amount of money on the fun though. Met up with Ah Gong and the rest to play pool. The initial plan was to watch a movie but I was quite late so they ended up playing pool. My bad. Suddenly, a few minutes after I came, Wei Le, Joshua, Swee Kuan and Kelvin came to play also. So coincident...

Left around 4.40pm with Hansui to buy presents for the 2 upcoming birthday boy and girl. I thought it was nice of her to accompany to buy the presents. How sad if I were the only one choosing presents. My knee worked up yesterday too. So it was quite painful throughout. But seems like only she gives a damn about it. Ha.

I didn't realise we spent so much time choosing the presents. I was supposed to meet Jian Yuan earlier at 6 but ended up about 20 minutes late. But fortunately, Hansui and me have the same views about the presents so we didn't argue much about the choice of it. However, Ping Aik's present is a bit troublesome in a sense that we were told not to have the chocolates outdoor more than 5 hours, otherwise it'll deteriorate. In the end, it was still left outdoor much longer than that.

After meeting Jian Yuan up, we waited for the rest. I was wondering if I should tell Ping Aik that she'll be the only girl in the group for the moment or should I just let her discover for herself later on... I thought if I told her, she might decide not to come afterall, so I just let her see for herself. Lol. Luckily, Esmond did ask Zhiren and Jeesiang to come. If not, I think I'll really strangle him. The group will be too small with just 5 people.

The games at the MindCafe were fun. Food seems to be so-so standard. Brownie's not bad. I saw some people playing the normal games seen in Singapore. I thought that since we have a chance to play imported board games, might as well learn new ones. The ones we played are those of strategy, quick-wits and reaction types of games. Had so much fun playing and screaming that our voices turned hoarse and we grew weary after the sessions. Think I'll bring my friends back there next time.

The singing of birthday song wasn't at MindCafe but at a McDonald Outlet near by. We had almost everything for the celebration except a lighter. It's nice of the uncle tending a store near by to lend his lighter for that. Grateful~ It's a round tiramisu cake by the way. Here's the picture of the birthday boy and girl... Ha.

Hansui changed quite a great deal. She was very quiet and easily aggravated in the past, not now anymore. Ha. She was so ultra "high" during the kbox session. She kept on motivate the rest of us to follow her jump on the sofa and scream into the microphone. Was kind of shocked. I think the next room can hear us when I saw them peering into our room. Lol. We sang all the way and I dare to say it's the most "high" singing session I've ever participated.

Ping Aik seems to be appreciative of our efforts of the celebration. I was kind of touched when she said that. Haha.. Looks like the next time I see them all will be at a much later time...

:( I can't login to Windows Live Messenger using my sirhc.net account. Don't know what's the reason behind it. My hotmail account can be used to login though. Check the validity of my live ID on the web. It's still valid, just no idea why I can't sign in. *Frustrated*

Jian yuan's birthday is coming. Wonder where can we celebrate his birthday. Actually, I'd in mind a place. However, I don't know where is it. I shall find out...

It's snowing now in India, how rare. In many other Asia countries, the people are dying of heat. China's having approximately 40 degrees Celsius as I heard on the news. Farmers died of heatstroke is today's news. Hmm, don't you think the trend of hotter temperature is getting worrisome?

The feeling is brewing strong. I can't stand my life anymore. I need a change desperately.

This is a picture of me smiling. Retouched it for a more soft and mellow feeling out of the photo. >.< Okay, I'm bored, that's why I did this.

Mm, my status in camp is now excused shipboard duties and excused sailing for a month. I'm supposed to be happy because it's more relaxed for me at least. It's Aops's expression that make me feel perturbed. I didn't cause the injury on purpose neither am I amplifying the injury for my own sake. What the MO and doctor see is the true situation of how my knee is! Hai... I'm supposed to be posted to shore unit but he refuses to let me go. He just wants me to stay behind to do things for the ship in any way possible. I foresee more of such problems will be coming. More people will start to say things behind my back. Today, I waited for quite a while so that I could have a late lunch to avoid seeing the people whom I thought will say things about me. Maybe it's just my imagination but maybe not. I told myself it's not my fault and I shouldn't continue to reproach myself for that. I want to pick that self-confident me back. I'm trying...

Last Saturday, I did a foolish thing which I find it amusing at the same time too. My brother's girlfriend was in his room and as usual his door was closed. I was rushing for time and I was desperately finding the shaver. I knocked the door and within 2 seconds of no-response feedback, I opened the door immediately. "Waaoooh~~!" was what I heard from his girlfriend. Eh, should I say fortunately, I wasn't wearing my spectacles or contact lenses that's why I can't see clearly what hanky panky stuff they did. Lol... Hmm, I think I need to think twice when I enter his room now. I don't want to be called "rude" this way. Ha.

Met up with Desmond earlier on. Well, he seems to have changed in his thoughts and way of life. He no longer seems to place emphasis on his looks and appearance but more on how he can earn big money at this phase of life which he deems NS to be too small a portion to play in it currently. He told me most of his NS friends are earning much money outside due to their intuitive ideas of business in many varieties. Of course, they have such chances due to their PES status which he has no idea how they manage to end up in that since they look so healthy yet end up being clerks handling admin matters. Well... maybe if I was surrounded with people like that, I may be inspired to do so... However, it seems unrealistic at the pace he was thinking...

Sky just has a funny way of blogging his feelings. Mm...

I just read an article about men's grooming and flirting tips. It's not as "hip" as the title of the article may sound. What the article in essence is saying about flirting is that men like women also need to socialise with other people to enlarge social circle. The women ultimately may not be the "one" but she can be another valuable friend. The true "one" could be her friend, there's never a sure thing. The grooming part is about men's image in today's world. Some of the tips that were written really gave me an eye-opener how detailed men's grooming can be. Wow, looks like, there's still much to learn regarding that. Lol.

Heard something ridiculous today. The medic told me that the medical endorsement needs to be booked in advance and gave me a date at June. Seriously, what's the point of endorsing so late a time when I've already long had my mc. He also said I'm not excused from QM duties when I can't even walk properly lest doing duty... Went to medical centre to talk to them and the SSG began to open up the directives to check for me. (Thought it was weird. Isn't the assessment of my situation case-by-case matter here more relevant?) Anyway, I'm not supposed to do anything strenous... There's no saying that I'm supposed to continue with QM duties... So, yep. Back to case-by-case situation... All in all, I just find the system weird. Sometimes, I just can't help watching the "Just follow law" again and again.

Just a few days didn't go back and I seem to be quite lost already. There's something about ship T-shirt, the fact that Adriel passed out already, newly mentioned rule that QM need not muster?, ship's outing at Jurong Swimming Pool, Shawn's assessment done.... Quite shocking.

Hehe, now there seems to be 2 unknown readers from what I know. I wonder which other unknown readers there are here.

It's Mothers' Day today. Happy Mothers' Day to all! Here I am at home not able to go out to celebrate with my mum due to an injury on my left knee sinew... It's really really painful when I try to move about. Went Tan Tock Seng Hospital yesterday to get painkiller medication and mc for me to rest at home. Not only I can't bring my mum out for celebration, she has to help me for many of the things. Yuck...

Saw the news of the tragic accident that happened to the 2 Singapore servicemen in Taiwan. They died pathetically during their training in Taiwan. It still goes to show how much one can lose during their contributions for the nation, how fragile a life can be. There's still so much left for them to do. They're gone, leaving their friends and relatives behind grieving for them. My heartfelt sympathy goes to them.

Here's a picture of a colourful eye done in photoshop with brush and effects entirely using my mouse. The lines are very much unstable due to the shakiness and the difficulty of control on a mouse. Maybe I'll get a tablet in the future.

I wanted to bring out some sort of emotions in the eye but seems like just a "dead" eye upon completion...

She's getting her life back on track and she seems happy about her life now. I'm glad of it and hope she stays that way...

Finally finished watching Hana Kimi on YouTube. It's a cute Taiwan idol show. Ha, wished that my love life would be a little more exciting, sweet than I will have. But it's not something that comes true by just yearning for it. Too shy to pursue for it... Wanted to have someone to look forward to seeing after work, somebody to work hard for, someone to share my happiness and someone whom I can cry to... I am weak inside no matter how I want to hide it. I don't know what's wrong with me lately but I'm getting weaker in controlling my emotions.

I tend to see the faults in other people which have made me very unhappy about many issues. There aren't many people whom I can really look up to. Is my perception of other people overly negative or it's just natural like that? I don't know. I want to believe that there's goodness in everyone, just that sometimes it's hard. Maybe that's why I love playing RPG games. Everyone in the game seems so perfect, heroic and righteous...

Thank you Padma, Choon Pei, Jian Yuan, Hui Chuan for cheering me on. Feeling empty~

Here's a photo I took during Minhan's wedding. My hands shook a bit so the picture isn't clear at all.. Ha. I like the Victorian style of wedding costume. It looks dashing on him and glamorous on his wife. Ha, looking at that makes me think about how I want my wedding to be. Still too early to say. =P

Took mum out to dinner today. I had no idea where to bring her for a treat because I don't know where I can satisfy her with the little money I have. In the end, we ate dinner at ThaiExpress City Hall in the Citylink Mall. I always wanted to try that but hasn't got a chance to. The place isn't as big as I thought when I peered in from outside. On a careful observation, the impression is created due to the smart use of mirror and arrangement of furniture in the shop.

I really like the food I ordered. I can't remember the name but here's the photo. I forgot to take a photo before I start eating and this one was taken halfway through. The initial arrangement was neat and very appealing in its appearance. I chose this because this isn't spicy hot which really suits my taste. My mum chose the wrong dish which was the Tom Yam Crayfish noodle which to both of us is very very spicy hot! I, myself, is unable to finish even a quarter of that. I'm quite awed by my mum that she can finish 3/4 of her dish. Here's a picture of that taken halfway through. The crayfish however is nice! Succulent and tasty. The flesh is quite small compared to the size of its shell though. Ha. For me, I drank quite a lot of the watermelon with lime freeze to chill my tongue down. Both our drinks cost quite a bomb. Should have just satisfy myself with sharing a drink, since their service includes pouring free flow plain water which I guess should be enough to cool my tongue down. =X

Smile through your day, life will be hard without that.

Life's getting harder for me. Sailing for firing's planned one after another... Madness. For each, post firing check's really killing me. Having fumigation at this point of time's really having a toll on me. It may just be a routine or programme planned on the calendar for the officers but the painstaking process, who'll know except for the gunners. Fellow gunners going on long leave soon... I'm going to feel a heavier burden pressed upon me in time to come. At times, I really feel like throwing every thing away and just go away... far away... I'm back home every day with aches in my back or arms and legs. Don't know how long the torture is going to persist.

What's the idea of instant messaging (MSN, yahoo messenger) to you? Do you have even half of the number of people you add in your list talking to you? How long have you seen some of those in your list? Sadly, there are truly many forgotten acquaintances. Hmm, life's weird. Just nothing can stay the same, even for friends. Those who stay, well... that's great then.

Sometimes, happiness can be so vague. Most of the time, it doesn't occur. I have to pursue. It may not be the same for everyone but I find that the happiness that came from pursuit is the most precious feeling I can derive out of the mundane things in life. I need more courage and persistence to motivate me to my goal and I hope I can find that in me soon.

Happy birthday, brother! Hope you'll enjoy your time every day with her but not forgetting to study well too!

I'm posting some pictures of the ones I drew in the past. I still like them no matter how amateurish they were. They are still my masterpieces. =) I recalled something that happened a few months back. My brother lost the cover page of my art folio during his secondary school days which I still treasure it till now. I still have a scan of it but a low resolution one.... >:( (He also lost my OBS T-shirt and feel not even a bit of guilty about his actions..) Anyway, all's done in pencils. The art folio's cover supposed to be designed in black ink straight away but I disobeyed my teacher's instructions anyway and handed in a pencil version 2 weeks past the dateline. Haha.

I did 3 ayumi drawings but I could only find 2 currently. Here they are. The one with the cap is the "Seasons" album if I'm not wrong. The other one is from the "(Miss)understood" album. Personally, the latter one doesn't resemble ayumi much but eh, it's difficult to draw after losing touch with drawing reference pictures for so long. But I hope over all it doesn't look too bad?

Here are the pictures of Final Fantasy series. The first one is the group of characters from Final Fantasy 9. The characters aren't my favourite bunch but the story sure touches my heart and packs in a real punch for a RPG game. The second one is a character "Squall Leonhart" from Final Fantasy 8. I hope I did capture his emo expression on the paper. The original picture was the one with a flaming sword across his face. I imagined quite a great bunch from his eyes downwards with my imagination. Haha.

This coloured poster was done both with drawing and photoshop. The pencil drawings were drawn by me and scanned in for the final photoshop poster. I was glad that it won me a merit prize for the RSN Safety Poster Competition. Or perhaps others just can't be bothered? =P My friend commented that the old lady looks too fierce. Do you think so?

I'm feeling bored. Life is repetitious now. Anyway, I find "My Valentine" by Martina Mcbride a very romantic song. Suitable as a wedding song too.

Hm, so far got 2 girls on friendster recently asked if I have six abs packs. Well, as much as I want to have. I'm quite lazy to train for those. Haha... I'm so tired after work... would really need much perseverance if I were to train. Maybe I'll consider it if I do have a target or an aim. Now, there isn't. Ok, that's an excuse. I could have done it for myself nevertheless right?

It's hard training someone. Lots of responsibilities are expected. Especially when I'm so used to people taking care of me. It's time I start to change... After all, NS isn't about training me to be so weak in the mind. I think I just have to adapt and watch out for myself for whatever that will happen in the future.

Watch the last episode of the 7pm show. It has an ultra nice ending. I'm moved by the love in the show. Can I love and and show understanding to someone to that extent and can I find someone who can love me back deeply too? I think only my heart has the answer.

I just found out that Marine Parade's Kbox really sucks. The room is so pathetically small with stagnant smoke smell lingering in the room. They are really limited with the drinks. Only Coke, Sprite and er... I've forgotten the last one. That's all! Can you believe it? And yes, there's no KBuffet too. Choon Pei seems to change quite a bit for her appearance. Wow, maybe that's due to her friends' influence? Had a sinful indulgence in Andersen's ice cream that day. With all the thick aromatic chocolate and whipped cream on it, I just can't resist it. My brother can't believe singing Kbox and chatting can take one whole day away. Haha. Anyway, I just never seem to run out of topic to talk to Jian Yuan. Don't know why, we just seem to clique well.

I just love drawing. Did so many drawings during my QM watch duty. I can't stand the boredom anymore if I'm not supposed to do ANYTHING! Listening to songs also has certain limits to its effectiveness. I also feel guilty waking my friends up to chat during wee hours. So... I drew images of different people of different expressions and personalities. Now, the whole scrapbook meant for recording miscellaneous staff now become my drawing book. Haha. Shall post one of my drawings some day here. =P

Went for Food Expo on Sunday at Suntec. It's crowded as usual but seems better than last year's. Don't have any picture this time because I was lazy to change my phone before going out. =P Ate lots of things out there. Tried various free samples but mainly drinks. Bought 2 packets of resealable seaweed snack, 1 Japanese pizza, 1 herbal tea, 1 Thai popiah, 4 durian puffs... Hehe, quite a lot right?

The Korean spirit that my mum and I tried leaves a lasting experience for me. It's just a small sip I can feel the strong alcohol burning sensation. Haha, but it felt good! My mum showed a soured expression which made the guy who offered my mum the spirit grin. Haha.

In the evening, my mum, 2nd uncle's family and I went to eat at a coffee shop at lavender. It's somehow quite popular with Singaporeans. I think the shop's name is "ming zhong ..." something... Saw many photos of celebrities dining there. Only enjoyed the famous wet noodles and the fried oyster with eggs. I eat the parts without the oysters though.

It's been a while since we had a proper chat. I guess he still hasn't forgiven me. Should I do something about it? I don't think I can stand the situation to last for many months to come.

Did duty for Persistence yesterday. Mm, nostalgic feeling it was. I was staring into space recalling and reminiscing the times I understudy the QMs. Mm, that was so many months back already. Thought of calling her on the phone but hesitated for quite some time. Is it time to let go of that thought? I've been too used to someone just there for me. This should not be, for I'm not her anyone any more.

Anyway, the dreadful thing that happened in the morning was that something got stolen from mess 10 again. Investigation was called and we were searched before leaving ended up leaving Persistence so late and got gun1 to wait for me that long... So sorry about that.

Listened to Wilson's advice this morning regarding the course to choose for university. He does have a point and it's been ages since anyone advises me something so truthfully and sincerely about my future. I must try to sort and confirm my course out during this period.

I don't know if GY's still angry with me. According to others, his mood was much better, but it could be to others and not me. Didn't want to blog this out but it just kept linger in my mind. Just couldn't sleep well. The chocolate's gone anyway... Ha.

Sailing tonight... Lots of things to do later on. Wondering if I should go for Sea Thunder. I'll be expecting many problems in my department according to what I've heard. I don't know if I'll be back in Resolution after that. I don't want to be a posted crew in Endeavour for sure...

Friday night, I went out to phuture to celebrate for Lisie and EJ's birthdays. Thought of something quite embarrassing when I thought that phuture was future until I saw the sign outside. Hee, sounds lame right.. Met up with Keith and Wong first at great world city. Forgotten that there's a bus 147 that goes there, ended up taking taxi to there. Supposed to meet them at 8.30 pm, reached there an hour later. =P Ate something there and bought a mint chocolate cake there. Wong said it will be weird to have present yet no cake, so keith and him bought one... Waited for GY and Staff Ong and CB later on before proceeding in. Unfortunately the cake can't be brought in, so have to deposit that in the food corner.

CAIS sms me and claim that I ps him again because I didn't inform him. I thought since it's his L's birthday, he'll probably know about it. But anyway, I told him we're at zouk. Phuture's music is trance that day and I didn't quite like it... Lots of smoke also... It just gets my eyes pretty irritated. Zouk's having R&B, hip-hop hence we switched. I like the design of the place. The passage joining the 3 has the design of ice-cave on slope... Most of the place we want to put our butts on were already reserved. Staff Ong daringly put the tag away and everyone just sat there pretending the tag was never there. The crews obviously know about it and we were allowed there only as long as the customers who reserved the table aren't here.

At the centre of the stage were some Caucasians making fun of themselves by manoeuvring stupid crude dance that made many laughed their heads off. The main characters aren't here yet so there we are entertaining ourselves. I guess being the oldest in the group got to take the lead to entertain... As usual, Staff Ong keep thinking of games to play to warm up the group. The crowd there is rather different than other places I've gone to. The guys and girls are more well-dressed and looked more attractive. Our table was eventually taken by a group of girls in hip-hop fashion.

The rest of the people came in about 11 plus. Keng Xiang was quite upset by his appearance there, affecting his mood to go as high as usual. Ha, he attributed it to his book-out timing and the wedding dinner. Some people like Su, EJ and Lisie were already a bit drunk when they came over. After drinking for a while, Lisie begins to cry, Ivan was the first to notice and console her... Think it was because she thought of something sad... Hmm, it's quite unexpected and difficult to handle because she continued crying for an extended period of time. Staff Ong had challenges trying to do stupid things to humour her. Ivan did pretty well encouraging her to smile and dance though.

Later on, we decide to start on the cake seeing that Lisie's at her limit already. At the small food corner, we made such a scene there that I wonder we must have been quite a nuisance, I suppose. The girls that sat next to us were listening to our rowdy conversations about calming Lisie down when she broke out crying upon seeing the cake. She said that she was overjoyed at that moment. Here's the birthday boy and girl holding the cake knife. Cake looks nice right?

We danced pretty late in the night or early into Saturday's morning. Many of us were quite tired already but Keith and Wong were still so high. Thus, we left first. Lisie broke out crying again when she sees the present. Lol... She's so full of tears... Ha. She's got duty the next day and I wonder if she'll be able to do the next day.

Saturday's Cedric's birthday celebration. Was hesitating whether to go for it because I was so beat out yesterday already. Before that, I had a change of clothes and went to the Singapore Casket to visit Ruth. Her father just passed away. I thought I should give her a visit since the blow dealt to her would be rather heavy. Mm, her father died of cancer. Life's so vulnerable, still remembered saying hi to her father just 2 years ago.

Met up with Karin, Joemin and my brother for Kbox singing session. I was quite late. Reached there more than half an hour late. Joemin's wasting $18++ money by sitting there and not singing... Lol, nobody could force her golden mouth to sing... Somehow, everyone seems quite tired singing... Some were sleeping when others were singing.. I didn't sleep even though I slept only about 4 hours.

In the end, I chose to go for his birthday celebration. It's at M-hotel. Never heard before and has no idea what sort of place is that. It's another $0.20 worth of travelling on the taxi... Paid $3++ for my butt to sit in and figure where the place is. Many of the 209 people were there already. They were surprised to see me though. I think it's his chief's idea to get that place. Nice ambience and good scenery. Not noisy except for us... I was lucky that I wasn't their targets there so I didn't drink much. Cedric was quite drunk when his chief poured the chivas straight down from the mouth.. Oh man, that was hell lot of alcohol! Mm, everyone looked quite different when they go "chiong". Ray brought a japanese girl there whom I thought was his new girlfriend. Ha, I learnt that he has many girl friends to go out with... doesn't has to be his girlfriend. Lol. That's garfield in the picture. Don't know why is my face so yellow compared to his... Haha..

Here's another picture of Cedric drinking the special order: Lamborgini. Nobody can help him take that special order which was for him... Poor soul, taking such strong brew in his drunk state... Took another picture of him with his birthday cake. His AO was beside him and both the AO and his chief was arguing about very stupid things in their drunk state. Ha, his chief's attitude resembles Staff Ong a lot. Keith and the rest of 209 people went for the second session at double O. Wei qiang and me left earlier.

I've checked out that company profile my friend introduced to me earlier on already. It's not exactly a scam because somehow it's still about business. It's how people see it. However, I still don't like. I'm quite sure the products aren't what it's up to and I've figured out many things that happened within the company that deeply shook my confidence upon more research on my part. I felt that even though I could have earned money from the company, I still can't bear with my moral issues. I'm fortunate that I was able to see the truth clearly compared to the people who joined and quit later realising the truth at a later stage...

Couldn't find the gift that I thought of buying for the past few days. Find that one cute yet practical... Ideal to give such gift right? Mm, probably will find the gift by today...

I've been wondering for the job opportunities in front of me. It's viable to do it. But I don't want to close my options to just that even though it may seem rosy to me at the moment. I don't have the security if I just venture into it instead of focusing on my university education later on.

Mum's changed. She become more irritable since her operation. Anything you say could just spark off another argument. I gave up discussing things she knew little about. Such as my job opportunities, or whether I'll missed the dinner she cooked for me, or just anything I've forgotten to do...

University registration for A level students will come soon. I have to figure out how to change my application... I wonder will it be successful? Application will give priority to this graduate batch I suppose.

Another favourite song "Tank - 专属天使". It's touchy~ I didn't really watch "花样少年少女" but just like the song in it.

Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops is fun. Its functionality seems nothing different from the one on PS2 platform. It's engaging and even has the multi-player capability with other PSPs. Graphics is good and doesn't lag so far. No wonder it has received such good rating from Gamespot. However, I'm just not the type of person for that type of game. Die quite easily. My brother's hooked on it though. Will try out Gurumin soon!

My brother's friend says I have nasal tone in the way I sing. Haven't realise that yet. Thought mine was quite light if at all... My brother has been training singing all day long. Probably trying to attract girls by his vocal charm I guess. Hmm, seriously, there are other ways of getting to know more girls in his social circle. Wonder why he chooses to do that? Anyway, because he tried to perfect the same few songs he played on the computer every day, he made me get sick of those songs! Yucks, now I hate to hear the nice songs to be sung either by him or someone else again.

Don't like drinking beer or alcohol... But environment makes me drink pretty much. Puked last Saturday... My stomach's totally upset and I just want to refrain drinking alcohol...

Watched "Just Follow Law" today. It's quite funny throughout. It turned out better than I thought. Well, although the idea of switching gender spiritually is rather cliche, it highlights many other issues existent in the society pretty well... Made me think about it and feel touched. Ending is crappy though. Haha...

Happy Chinese New year to all!

It's not that bad to do duty on Saturday which is a New Year Eve day. There isn't any fire drill and we can enjoy steamboat dinner together. Not that bad, I'm just worried what the CO will think or do when he sees us having it at a place that we shouldn't. Ha, can't mention where though. It's really becoming more and more unbearable doing duty. Firstly due to the hot sun which makes me feel really dehydrated and de-energised. Secondly, having no one to talk to and having nothing to do make it all worse for the QM on watch. Like a idiot hanging around the QM brow. At least for the night shift, there's someone for me to talk to. =D

::CNY Day 1::
I'm really very tired due to previous day's duty doing 2nd watch. Nevertheless, I was still rather excited for the Chinese New Year. Tried so hard to bear over so many days not to wear the new clothes till CNY comes. Hee, no particular rational over it but I believe it feels much better to wear it for the first time during CNY. Hmm, this is what I wear for day 1. Actually, I saw many clothes I like when I did shopping earlier. But they were all in black and white colours which my mum won't like it for me to wear during CNY. The photos I took with my relatives aren't in my camera. I'll get them later along with those taken in Malaysia earlier.

After praying, went to 2nd Uncle's house and stayed there throughout. It's quite boring as usual and I fell asleep eventually. When I woke up, it's about time to have dinner already. Blackjack started late in the evening. I didn't seem to have much luck that day. My $10 capital losses fluctuate a lot. Ultimately, I quit after recoup $8 which makes a balance of $2 loss. Okay, I'm quite a miser in terms of losing money for gambling. Lol.

::CNY Day 2::
This was what I wear for CNY day 2. Mm, it's a wrong choice actually. The day is actually quite warm and the houses I go to don't switch on their air-con in spite of the weather condition. =X This is actually the day I collect more ang pao for me most of the times. Amount not going to be disclosed of course. Ha, I think it's quite little compared to many of my friends'. Heh, shouldn't compare... Different family background anyway.

After I collect the ang pao for the day, LAIS asked me out. I realised I didn't bring my wallet out and decided to join them later. =P However, they agreed to sponsor all my expenses. Ha, think I'm getting too embarrassed to go out with them anymore since I seem to be spending their money all the time.. =X As usual, the gang this time is GY, LAIS, Sgt Eng Joo and me. Staff Ong is out because he has a family to look out for during this time I guess. Had dinner at Sakae Sushi and ate plenty of food before we left. There's really a long queue when I reached there and all the food ordered will be served at a minimum waiting time of 30 minutes. Whew... I remembered my stomach's still growling then. Lol.

After that, we idled around for some time to take photos with our respective birth year animal sign. Photos are with LAIS. GY was rather reluctant to take photos... I think there's a reason behind it... After much plee, GY finally agreed to take photos and go to party world KTV to sing. Hmm, I think it's rather expensive there consider no extra time allowed for singing, cheapskate fruits and tidbits given. Only the drinks are of larger proportion. Yep, there's a variety of genres everyone is interested in singing so it's quite interesting. The only common thing is that everyone was singing rather sad songs in there. Lol... Why so~?

::CNY Day 3::
This is what I wear for today. Found out today that my cousin Yan Li broke up with her boyfriend. We all thought that she ditched him but turned out the other way round. She's gotten so much attention today from many relatives on how to choose prospective spouse. Oh man, spare me such attention in the future. Ha. Had "Lau Yu Sheng" at 3rd Aunt's house. Reminded me of the time I participated one at Resolution recently. That one was really madness... even the officers are not spared from the flying speckle of food. Anyway, it's crammed and noisy in there. I was sweating a lot in there. To sum up these 3 days, I didn't really gamble much or eat that much... Didn't seem much like the Chinese new year I knew since young. Anyway, here's the CNY decoration I saw at Esplanade. Many other cuttings were there, neat, intricate and creative... Really a "wow" when I look at it. What do you think?

Busy busy now... will update again when there's a chance...

I think after what she's done to me, I'm quite touched but still unable to feel that real connection between me and her. I think the fault lies in me. She has tried very hard on her part for it yet I did nothing in comparison. I wonder should I really do things with my heart or is it better to fool myself to do things out of my will? By then maybe things would have become different?

I'm just so lost. She may not be coming back. I'm utterly speechless, what am I going to say. What good will I do even if she stays...?

Had a really really pleasant birthday this year!

First of all, thanks to Kai Yang, Choon Pei, Ping Aik, Aiping, Francis, Jaron, CAIS, GY, Hoi Ching, Kingsly, Ruth, Padma, Navin, Serene, Hanwei, Karin for wishing me a happy birthday! I'm quite guilty because for many of them, I've forgotten to do the same last year.. =P

Anyway, was really surprised when Esmond messaged me to ask me out. I was thinking it's just a casual outing with the JC guys again. I agreed to him nevertheless. Least did I thought it was a gathering to celebrate my birthday. Some did not go because they were waiting for reply. Ha. It's a celebration at KBox. Didn't bring any camera so the photos are of quite low quality. Here's a snapshot of my cake. Hee, looks nice right? Lots of cream and chocolate for me to feel sinful again. Ha. The two candles sadly indicate my second phase of life. I'm now 20 already with the digit 2 in front. Lol, ok... everyone grows old, no one can be stagnant in their youth so I guess I should quit complaining and start to cherish, enjoy and lead a meaningful youthful life. Thanks Estella, Fiona, Esmond, Jian Yuan and Weiquan for being able to make the celebration successful.

:: O bar celebration ::
After the ops dinner, GY and Staff Ong insists to bring me to bar to celebrate my birthday. I'm a bit anxious about it because I hope they don't bring me to those "places". I won't want to go anyway. Anyway, I managed to go in even though I'm underage. Lol. The bouncer inside wanted to check my entry proof seal before allowing me to enter 2nd level. Ha. For the first few hours we are there, the place is still not warmed up yet. Not many people are dancing except for Keng Xiang's friends. Mm, there are only 1 eye candy there initially. Not for my age anyway. Just that Eng Joo and GY were staring at her. GY wasn't that obvious... The group of us played some games as initiated by Staff Ong to warm up the conversations. I learned quite a few but my reactions were slow and ended up getting mocked by everyone. It's okay...haha. Leslie felt a bit out of place and soon left O bar before everyone gets high enough. Mm, I'm not sure if I bored everyone when there's girl called Rachel sat beside me and started talking to me... Eng Joo told me that it's the case why he left. Erm... Anyway, here are the photos I took with my colleagues. The one in cap is Rachel. I wasn't that drunk as her and LAIS I guess. I was still alert but in a rather good mood that's all. I think it was overall quite an enjoyable experience. Thanks to GY, Staff Ong, LAIS that I can enjoy the session for free... =P It's quite expensive for having ordered so much drinks...

Mum did something simple... She bought a cake for me, sang me a song and gave me ang pao. Ha, I still like it nevertheless... I hope this year will be a good year for me and my friends.. Life's actually can be pleasant if everything is that simple.. =)

The new contact lenses feel much more comfortable. They're thinner and less dry. Should I be contented with that or should I try acuvue? I realise colour contact lenses are hard lenses. Haven't try before but heard that it's not as comfortable.

I think I should set my mind off relationships for the time being. I'm not getting it right at this moment.. I should have been in it when I'm ready and not stuck in a situation like that.

Feeling feverish since yesterday night. Been feeling emotional again... Don't know why I feel like crying every time I hear that song.

mm. Yesterday was another bad day. Upon arriving at the Tuas base, my bag strap gave way and it landed out loud on the ground. Quite embarrasing I thought, never did I thought that fall will cost my PSP LCD screen to crack and cost me $120 to repair. I discovered that only on my way from Tuas when I need that the most to keep my boring journey some entertainment... Heartache~ Sob... It's still so new you know?

On my way back, saw several patches of wet mud, thought I'll be able to keep clear of it by stepping aside which the grass covered the ground. It's still muddy. Now my shoes are stuck with the mud and soil.. Still can't be removed yet. Haiz...

When I'm back in camp, officer of the day is XO. The one I have to see regarding the mistake I made during Thursday's watch. Mm, what a coincident. It was also Staff Ong's POOD and Thiru's fire drill accessment that day. Moreover, there are 2 OJTs understudy, so definitely a fire drill will be held that day. Diao~ Was thinking that I should have finished thursday's watch and relax after the GPMG course... Wahaha... Not forgetting that I will have to muster arms that day when it's supposed to be Chia's responsibility... Well, can't be anything worse, so I still cheer myself up after that.

Found out that SGFORUMS is an interesting site, started reading recently only. Go find out if you're curious about it. Ha. Also, it's been confirmed that I have sailing on my birthday eve till my birthday. Afterwhich, I have a duty on that day too. Mm, yep, got to smile because it's the last time I'll have my birthday in camp anyway...

The main problems with me are that I can hardly be decisive, easily influenced, soft-hearted and inexperienced. Such traits are causing me to face situations helplessly. My mum believes that if something needs to be done, do it. Got to set the will and heart even if it's cruel in some ways. Well, it can be that I didn't inherit any of her traits then, lol.

Had a 10/04 outing few days back. Mm, before that I was wondering to go for it or not. So far, it hasn't really been very fun for me. Honestly speaking, the class is really fragmented. I wasn't sure if everyone is genuinely interested in the outing or just going with the flow, the mass of people in the class. Every time, when I'm out with them, I either feel happy talking to the girls or the guys at one time, not as a class no matter how much I try to sort out my conversations to suit both. Somehow I just never get to voice this out but it just feels so uncomfortable...

However, it's a rare occasion for my class to get a gathering with Ms Fong especially after J2. Everyone changed a little bit especially the girls. Some guys still remember pretty much the same. Ha, I don't know for them how much or little I've changed... Ha, I hope other than appearance, my character is better?

The session wasn't that fruitful in that I haven't really found out what they've gone through so far. But I thought it's inevitable that the gap will widen once we embark on our separate ways... I miss the old days.

Mm... I didn't know what's on my mind... Have I become partially numb by the pain of what happened to me before? Has that made me unable to see my true feelings? I really don't know what's going on...

Happy new year!

Ha, this post came a bit late but nevertheless still here than never. Thanks to many for the new year greetings sent to me. Hope this year will be better than last year and I definitely look forward to this year. My ORD year! =P

Shall post the fireworks pictures later, haven't scale down the size for blog display yet. I tried using the night mode to take the photos. It's got a brighter ambience lighting but because I held it by hand, the fireworks turn out looking different than it ought to be. Lol, it runs out my battery faster too... I had 2 out of 3 bars and it just ran out after about 3 shots plus a few sec video clip capture? Lol...

Cai cai, eugene, ah gong and me had a long day out. Our outing was supposed to be quite short actually but had to be out there very long due to the immense crowd.. It seems that I really prefer Singapore population to be 3 million instead of 4 million... Lol. Ah gong has a big appetite, he can finish carl's junior set meal with no problem at all.. For me, finishing the side orders seem to be rather difficult and sinful already, ha. Just the size of its calamari rings can tell. That night we were pushing each other to refill the drinks... the cup is big but the drink runs out fast, (maybe we're just very thirsty?) so we refilled several times that day.

Took another driving lesson today. It's disastrous and I'm very very worried that by the time I take the TP test, I'll pass it... Guess I'll probably take that test as a learning experience then.

That day, taxis were the kings of the road. There really weren't any other vehicles except few buses occasionally. The taxis just refused to stop if you flag for them and I suppose they only take calls by which they can earn more? Luckily for me, there's a night rider bus that takes me quite near to my house otherwise gotta really get ripped by the expensive cab fares... Ha.

Had a personal problem which I don't really want to share... Felt quite troubled by it because it's my fault but I just can't help doing that... It's really what I feel about things even if it's wrong? Hmmz.... Don't know what to do... I can't be forced to things I can't get used to...

*Update*
These are the 2 pics I took from my camera. Eh, actually the effects are different but taken with night effect blends the fast moving light into disarray I suppose. Look at the second picture... Seems as if there's flame tongue in the background, haha.