Life's getting harder for me. Sailing for firing's planned one after another... Madness. For each, post firing check's really killing me. Having fumigation at this point of time's really having a toll on me. It may just be a routine or programme planned on the calendar for the officers but the painstaking process, who'll know except for the gunners. Fellow gunners going on long leave soon... I'm going to feel a heavier burden pressed upon me in time to come. At times, I really feel like throwing every thing away and just go away... far away... I'm back home every day with aches in my back or arms and legs. Don't know how long the torture is going to persist.

What's the idea of instant messaging (MSN, yahoo messenger) to you? Do you have even half of the number of people you add in your list talking to you? How long have you seen some of those in your list? Sadly, there are truly many forgotten acquaintances. Hmm, life's weird. Just nothing can stay the same, even for friends. Those who stay, well... that's great then.

Sometimes, happiness can be so vague. Most of the time, it doesn't occur. I have to pursue. It may not be the same for everyone but I find that the happiness that came from pursuit is the most precious feeling I can derive out of the mundane things in life. I need more courage and persistence to motivate me to my goal and I hope I can find that in me soon.

Happy birthday, brother! Hope you'll enjoy your time every day with her but not forgetting to study well too!